hoosiermama? I AM!!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Dammit. Timing really is everything sometimes.

Praying you get the best job ever.

I am absolutely sure of it.

God will provide.

Puppy

[hoosiermama]

Thanks.

Not doing well being home by myself all day--lots of panic attacks today. I need to get out of the house; I also should get stuff done around here (painting, etc.) that I don't otherwise have time to do.

good news--D14 is approved for retesting for her LD!! She hasn't had any retesting since 4th grade, and a little bit has changed since then!! I've established a good relationship with the compliance monitor (whatever that is!) and the school psychologist, we've been able to communicate well, and I think things will go well. Last night was open house at her school and I got to meet her teachers--and they all told me what a great kid she is.

xH was a squirrel thruout--made damn sure he didn't sit anywhere near me at any point lest anyone would think we're "together" and was very anxious to leave when it was over while I was still talking with a teacher. D14 told me today he said he was antsy because he had to spend so much time around me. Now why would anyone tell their child that??? Guilt much?

She also passed her choir music theory test and is now essentially qualified to move up to an advanced choir--and this is a big deal for her. The choir director personally tutored her a few times. She came out to talk with me while D14 was taking the test, and told me how much fun she had with the tutoring, how hard D14 worked, how it's written all over her face when she gets a concept, and just what a great kid she is. She also mentioned that she had been concerned about D14's depression over the past year, but that she seems remarkably happier with the new school year. I love this woman!!! So I heard several times yesterday how wonderful my child is...how fabulous is that???

[hoosiermama]

Dammit. Timing really is everything sometimes.

Praying you get the best job ever.

I am absolutely sure of it.

God will provide.

Puppy

thanks, pup. sometimes I need to be reminded of that.

[rockedworld]

So I heard several times yesterday how wonderful my child is...how fabulous is that???

FABULOUSLY fabulous! AND... a testimony to what a fabulous mom you are.

[BeingMe]

I am so glad your daughter is blossoming in school, and is getting so many compliments. I'm sure you must feel so pleased and relieved after the difficulties of the previous year. ((((Hmama))))

[Gardener]

hm,
Catching up after a couple of days.

... So I heard several times yesterday how wonderful my child is...how fabulous is that???

It doesn't get more fabulous than that!

And, panic attacks? I hate to think of you suffering such awful episodes alone.
Call someone!
I volunteer.

And to bring the discussion at Smiley's over here for a moment, I add another Anderson quote re: DSMIV candidacy:

"But abandonment grief is a syndome of its own. It is the way in which your fear and anger are turned against yourself that gives abandonment grief its particular character."

Peace,

[hoosiermama]

Rocked--thanks! yes, it is indeed fabulously fabulous!

BeingMe--yes, it is such a relief. I know that we're in a bit of a honeymoon phase, but I'll take that for now. At some point we will get to that "high school baseline" but I gotta believe it's a much better baseline than what we've had the past couple of years.

gardener--thank you. I truly appreciate the offer...but it's just never been in my nature (nor my experience) to make distress calls. nothing would make me feel more foolish.

yes, all of this crap does have the tendency to turn inward--which, in terms of inner child stuff, is one of the worst things that could happen.

I'm trying really hard not to succumb to the panic that's just below the surface most of the time; I need to distract myself with doing something productive because last week was NOT good. thinking of doing some painting and other projects in my house--that will accomplish many things, including nesting. I also need to begin searching websites again to see what new positions may have been added since early last week. kinda given up on personal growth stuff...in terms of Maslow and all, it's no wonder I'm not concentrating well on growth and healing because I'm forced to be focused more on survival issues at the moment.

tomorrow--potentially having coffee in the morning with a friend, then noon Mass and lunch with my priest-friend. just getting out of the house, and out of my head, will be helpful.

[NNP1965]

glad you are getting out of the house hm. You continue to be in my prayers.

[BeingMe]

but it's just never been in my nature (nor my experience) to make distress calls. nothing would make me feel more foolish.

I bet you would gladly accept a distress call from a friend, though.

I am glad that you have something to do today. Me? Just got up from bed. Ugh! These meds really suck.

[hoosiermama]

I have to share this! At tonite's homecoming football game, D14 (there to sing the National Anthem with the school choir) got asked by the band director to play cymbals with Pep Band for the rest of the season! And she's not even in band...freshmen have to choose band or choir. Inyerface, elementary music teacher!!! this'll be a stretch for my little introvert--but it'll be a good stretch, and her father the drummer can get her situated.

Last school year was just so incredibly awful--I'm so happy for her that things are going so well so far in high school!!!!

nothing new on jobs...this is just going to take awhile. gotta figure out options: borrowing from retirement funds or going on unemployment (which won't cover monthly expenses). My understanding is that you can borrow up to half of your retirement savings without penalty if you repay it in 5 years. any advice???