W came home just after me. Smiley, happy, in a good mood. I was doing some work on my laptop. She suggested to go to a jazz club which we haven't been for a long time. I thought it was an excellent idea. She asked if I wanted to invite my best friend who is a huge jazz fan and we used to have a lot of fun in that place.
I called him and he was a game to go.
While we were waiting to kill time to meet, she was - again - bringing over all of our dogs placing then on my lap and being cutely goofy about it. Every time she kept coming closer and closer to me until our bodies and faces would touch.
I told her about my day and about the fact that her old boss, who now works for a different company paid a visit today to say hi and catch up with business we have together.
She asked me what he had to say. I told her that we talked a lot. She then said "I knew I could not trust him and I apologize for that." I said that I don't understand what you mean by that. She said "Well, back when he left the company I told him that we were ending our relationship and he was heartbroken over that."
I told her (which is the truth) that he never discussed that with me. She was relieved.
I asked her whether she is going around telling everybody about our issues like that (we are working in the same industry). She said no, that it was an isolated case with her ex boss at the time and he cornered her at the social event that I was not present.
I let it go and we kept killing time.
All the way to the club she was talking to me about the latest developments of her job. I listened, validated her points and offered my opinions when appropriate.
She picked up her phone and made a call. After that she told me who she called and what she talked about. Then she checked her e-mail and started reading it to me out loud. Next she went through her texts and again told me everything about it. The sudden transparency of that stunned me.
My friend was waiting for us. She was happy to see him. The food was great as usual and the band was outstanding. She had some catching up to do with my friend and as they were sitting across from me they were enjoying each other's company. I smiled and let them talk.
On our way home she tuned into my favorite satellite radio music station and turned it way up. We have slightly different taste in music because I am stuck in 80's and she has moved on from that.
It was a nice gesture from her part because I usually tune into her present top 40 when she's a passenger.
There was no talking because we were both rocking on 80's new wave.
We got home played with the dogs and she retired to bed.
I was going to have my talk tomorrow and I am a bit taken back on that. I know there will be a lot of preparation needed for her vacation departure. At the same time I cannot delay this any longer. It HAS to be done. She is eating the cake right now and getting all the best treatment from me while enjoying every minute of it.
I may have to hold the talk until I pay her a visit next week or even after she returns. The people count for her next Friday's party is growing and there are more "friends" mounting up. I want to see if she is going to tell me about the party afterwards or not. That would be important for me about her honesty.
Have I been blindsided, am I dumb, is she playing me or is she giving me a signal?
Your wisdom is appreciated.
P.S. Coach, I am not going to melt by not giving her the "speech". I am done with this R as it stands. It cannot continue like this. But I do seek help to see through this fog.
Another memory lapse from this morning. W was cleaning out the fridge and noticed 2 filet mignons that I had not put in a freezer yet because I bought them the other day when planning on cooking for myself. That night she came home early and ended up cooking ribs that she had prepared earlier.
That evening I showed her the steaks and corn I had bought but she changed the menu because the ribs had to be eaten.
So this morning she was puzzled that those steaks were there and asked me when had I bought them. I reminded her about the other night and how she changed the menu. She was all confused.
This is really beginning to worry me.
I'm having a beer at the bar by the harbor trying to enjoy my day. We went shopping separately. She needed stuff for her trip and asked me to pick up a small bag of dogfood because I was going to pet shop anyway. I'm done but I want to hide right now.
Between a great time last night, her confusion this morning, my desire to have a "talk" today and her leaving tomorrow I don't know how I feel right now.
I just want her to go so I can think clearly. I'm suppose to drive up to see her Tursday night. The overnight stay offer still stands. She asked me if I would stay. I said that I need to check my work schedule and also see how I feel about it. She said that it's a ling drive and that I should stay over and enjoy the next day.
It's only 90 minutes away. I think she is sincere about wanting me to stay but I just don't know how I feel about it.
your wife is on anti-depressants and boozing it up?
i know the young kids at the bar like to pop a few xanax then do shots. they are hilarious to watch.
I don't know that for a fact but there has been numerous times when she would be very happy and then after only a few glasses of wine turn into belligerent mess and later remembers nothing about it.
