I messed up big time on post up above. I have names in it and everything. I'm sorry everyone, I copied it from an email that I sent to a friend and when I went to edit it, it wouldn't let me do it.
Just to clarify, I do understand that your D took it upon herself to ask the questions. I guess what I was trying to say is to take care in what you say. Just a reminder more than anything else.
You have to remember that a mlc'er sees the world through a totally different pair of eyes. Responsibility is not one of their strong suits.
I don't get to say a word. And he has D13 in the middle of everything. I do the NC and then he will do something a few weeks later I think to push my buttons so I will contact him even though he won't respond.
H has gone completely dark now, so looks like things are getting worse instead of better. He has been dark since the beginning of June.
Is this the normal of a MLC'er to do after this long?
First when he left we argued a lot, then got a long, talked sometimes about kids and jobs. Sent jokes through texts and now nothing at all. It really slowed down and then came to a stop after we were together in March for a few hours and he talked about dating each other.
I do also know through our D13 that his family has been saying to him just to divorce me already and get it over with, so I know how he is or should I say was and is probably discussing things with them and they are telling him to move on so this must mess him up also. And to think, this was the family that wanted me to marry him so badly. Our D13 also said she doesn't understand that when he gets sad and sits and drinks and doesn't talk to anyone that no one asks him what's wrong. This part of his family didn't speak to him for 12yrs. and now he runs to them a year after our separation and they are his life and me and the kids are nothing. I just don't get it.
I really thought he was seeing the light a little bit with offering to help with grocery money and soccer and not signing a lease this time and a couple of other little things but I guess I was wrong.
So down again, I was feeling better the week before last and now it's like he did a complete turn around the following week.
I don't get to say a word. And he has D13 in the middle of everything. I do the NC and then he will do something a few weeks later I think to push my buttons so I will contact him even though he won't respond.
H has gone completely dark now, so looks like things are getting worse instead of better. He has been dark since the beginning of June.
Is this the normal of a MLC'er to do after this long?
First when he left we argued a lot, then got a long, talked sometimes about kids and jobs. Sent jokes through texts and now nothing at all. It really slowed down and then came to a stop after we were together in March for a few hours and he talked about dating each other.
I do also know through our D13 that his family has been saying to him just to divorce me already and get it over with, so I know how he is or should I say was and is probably discussing things with them and they are telling him to move on so this must mess him up also. And to think, this was the family that wanted me to marry him so badly. Our D13 also said she doesn't understand that when he gets sad and sits and drinks and doesn't talk to anyone that no one asks him what's wrong. This part of his family didn't speak to him for 12yrs. and now he runs to them a year after our separation and they are his life and me and the kids are nothing. I just don't get it.
I really thought he was seeing the light a little bit with offering to help with grocery money and soccer and not signing a lease this time and a couple of other little things but I guess I was wrong.
So down again, I was feeling better the week before last and now it's like he did a complete turn around the following week.
That's why I don't contact him when he does do these things anymore. I did all the way back to the Spring time, but even though it kills and hurts so bad I don't contact him at all.
If you want remove your post you will have to hit the notify button while logged in. Be sure to hit the notify button directly below that specific post.
If I remember correctly it seems like there is a text box for you to reply as to why you are flagging this post. You can use that to explain to the mods that you made a mistake while you were cutting and pasting and accidentally included that portion.
Ahhh hell... Where's Lance when you need him? I'm kidding, that should do it. It may take a little time, I'm not sure.
Originally Posted By: Goodfight
I do the NC and then he will do something a few weeks later I think to push my buttons so I will contact him even though he won't respond.
They will often try to push your buttons and get you to react negatively. Sometimes it's almost like they have this need to keep contact for some reason. Yes, it's strange, but what isn't around here? Other times it's actually legit, they really do need to speak to you for a valid reason, whether it involves the kids, or financial stuff or whatever.
It's up to you to decide on what to respond (not react) to and what to let go.
Quote:
H has gone completely dark now, so looks like things are getting worse instead of better. He has been dark since the beginning of June.
Is this the normal of a MLC'er to do after this long?
Please watch your thoughts, you are already getting off on the negative foot by assuming this is a bad thing. Sometimes they will vanish because they NEED space to work on their issues, which is good. No more negative expectations should be your goal.
You said normal and MLC'er in the same sentence. Yes, many will pop in and out like this.
Quote:
I really thought he was seeing the light a little bit with offering to help with grocery money and soccer and not signing a lease this time and a couple of other little things but I guess I was wrong.
You really need to work hard to arrive at a place mentally as to where you are not trying to read into his every word or action. Most of the time they simply are what they are.(In mlc they are usually all about him) This would be another example of an expectation.
Quote:
So down again, I was feeling better the week before last and now it's like he did a complete turn around the following week.
Be patient and keep working hard. He took you along with him this time.
I'm kidding, that should do it. It may take a little time, I'm not sure.
Yes, many will pop in and out like this.