I forget to mention this in my earlier posts but The email I received from W, she said she would call the mediator today to set up the appointment.
Should I ask her if she was able to secure the date?
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
If your current stance is one of "I need to poop or get off the pot, one way or another," then I would say YES (altho that may not be a consensus, "DB" answer).
Should I ask her if she was able to secure the date?
"I need to make some other plans, which date are we going to see the mediator on?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She did agree on 9/12 as the day she was going to tell the mediator. So it's not a question of which day.
Also she didn't mention the finacial proposal I gave to her on the breakdown of the house and what is owed.
This needs to be addressed before we meet with the mediator.
I'll wait and see her response to my email this morning asking her if she wanted to meet after I drop off D5 at school.
antsy but need to show patience.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Heard back from W on the email I sent her, here it is:
Quote:
D5's school will be holding an open house on Tuesday September 2nd from 1:30 to 3pm. I can pick her up from Tots at noon and take her over & you can meet us if you can. Her teacher is Mrs. S. I would definitely like to see her off on her first day. Do you think she needs a new school bag? she had asked for a new one, but the old one should still be good. As for S3/school, let's just talk on the phone about it so I can get a clearer picture of the plans.
Finally something I can work with. Athough The open house for d5 is on Thursday 9/2. (I already inquired about it.)
This is the second request from her to talk on the phone about things.
I'm thinking D5 needs a new school bag, right Coach?
Any other thoughts about her response??
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Funny you say this, I thought she did a great job detaching. Too bad she wasn't a good DBer before all this sh!t happened.
Last night I called MIL to find out why there were so many clothes in the bag when she dropped off the kids Sunday. She told me why and then goes into why I didn't go to S3 birthday party at her place the other week.
She said I am always welcome and tells me she and her Ex went to events for the kids. She said S3 said daddy was coming D5 said no he's not, and then they fought.
I did tell them both I was not attending and would be having my own party for S3.
MIL goes into saying how I don't want to regret not being there for things like that. I told her I wouldn't miss events for the kids such as graduation but as for B-day parties, I don't miss out b/c I have my own family and friends that share their special day.
She then goes into how she was a product of divorced parent and how they coped.
I agreed and validated her feeling but said I don't want the kids to get the wrong impression.
I told her I know what I want now and I deserve to be happy. With or without her daughter.
So we left it as that. She said she feels comfortable around me when she drops the kids off. She said I am always welcome and I said thank you.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Had a good conversation about the kids and their schedules. We also talked about parenting issues and that went well too.
At the end she said she was meeting with the mediator today to file. I said I thought we had to draw up the contract first before she could file. She said that's not the case and said she could file and I will be served.
I asked her about the house finances and if she received the propsal. She said she get them but didn't agree so she didn't respond back about it. She said the mediator knows more about it and she wanted to wait until we met with her.
I asked her if she was representing her or was a mutual party. She said she was a mutual party.
I held my composure and said OK, she you Wednesday morning.
We will spend time together on 9/2 at our D5 orientation.
Then meet on 9/12 with mediator.
Should I continue with my plan from yesterday and lay it all out on the table or go to to mediation with the thought of D?
What's my next move?
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
WTF??? What kind of "mediator" files a divorce action after only meeting with ONE party, and with only one party's signature???
You need to call this "mediator" immediately. Mediation is where two parties agree amicably to all of the issues, with the intention of filing an uncontested divorce. Typically the two parties will agree to all of the non-controversial issues ahead of time, as much as possible, and then -- in the presence of the mediator -- he/she will help you work out the remaining tough, sensitive issues. This is typically done over two to three meetings, depending upon how much mutual agreement there is going in. Once everything is agreed upon, each party can then have their own atty look it over if they wish (which I always advise!), and THEN -- if both parties are in agreement -- YOU FILE.
Again, WTF????
It sounds to me like your wife has just played you.
