Welcome to my thread KellBell0820. Yeah, it's sad we're all here.
I have wanted to take a trip to Nashville for years now. Ironically, a couple months ago when W and I were sort of reconciling, Nashville was on our list to take a weekend getaway trip together this fall.
Should be interesting tonight. I'm going to see a concert tonight at a festival here. Talked to W on the phone this morning about kid stuff, and turns out she's going to the concert too, with her neighbors. I'm planning on going with some friends of mine, including a couple single women. Oh boy.
I know you like writing these notes and speeches to your wife. And no matter what I say to convince you they don't mean jack crap to your wife works, I do need to point out one thing here.
Before you do these letters, notes, speeches, get your mind made up and stick to it.
for more than an hour!
at 4:48 you posted the first quote below. at 5:03 the other.
which is it mcfly? open marriage or no open marriage?
Originally Posted By: futureunknown
Go ahead and date others. I now see what you meant. I want to date others too. If we are meant to be together, then nothing can hold us apart.
Originally Posted By: futureunknown
W refuses to completely sever her connection to OM, and since she started throwing out her "open marriage" ideas, we are still headed toward divorce,
I know you like writing these notes and speeches to your wife. And no matter what I say to convince you they don't mean jack crap to your wife works, I do need to point out one thing here.
Before you do these letters, notes, speeches, get your mind made up and stick to it.
for more than an hour!
Not sure what you mean SMQ. I don't think those two quotes you snipped out are necessarily in disagreement. I should add a line to the first one though, something like "I don't feel right being married while we date others, so I need us to get our legal agreement finalized."
I don't want a D, I'd prefer to work on reconciliation, but if she is refusing to put real effort into it, I'll spend my time investigating other options. I can't put my life on hold. In that case though, I need to pursue D. No open marriage.
Interesting night Saturday. I did see W at the concert. Was a bit awkward at first. W seemed very happy to see me, very friendly, touchy feely. She and her friends ended up hanging out with me and my friends. It was an outdoor festival on a gorgeous night. W and I took a walk together to get some food. She looked stunning, but I kept some distance. My friends were surprised and impressed by the casual nature in which I treated her. We walked past an airbrush tattoo booth, and I told W she should get one. We had a great time looking over the patterns, with not-so-subtle sexual undertones. None really struck our fancy, and our friends were waiting for us, so we moved on.
She had to leave before me, as she had to get home to relieve the babysitter. Felt very weird her leaving me there with my single friends. One of the women in my group later said "There is definitely something going on between you two."
She leaves on Friday with the kids to go to Disney World. Her mother still thinks I should go, my mother is even conflicted about it. My friends think I should not go. W has a plane ticket for me. I feel like I'm in a game of chicken.
I understand that but your W knows you will move first. The goal is to get her to move first. The way to do that is.......
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She had to leave before me, as she had to get home to relieve the babysitter. Felt very weird her leaving me there with my single friends. One of the women in my group later said "There is definitely something going on between you two."
Oh yeah, without question, there is some serious "chemistry" going on here, Future. You two obviously have a strong shared connection, and shared history.
All the more reason to PLAY THIS CORRECTLY, as you're being advised. This MAY be the only remaining shot you get.
I hear you, so I'm trying to play this very cool, but sometimes it feels so stupid. Why don't I just go to her and say "You say you're worried I'll never get past what happened, yet you're keeping OM on your FB page. How am I supposed to let it go when you can't? Is keeping him on your FB page worth destroying our chances at reconciliation and us not going to Disney together as a family? Is this really what you want?"
Does that make me look weak?
Does she need to be "broken" again, and come to me? I feel like if I had said in our meeting "W, you keeping him on FB is making it impossible for me to trust you to reconcile, and start to be a family again" she would have taken him off. I didn't think to say that, so here we are. Obviously if she really wanted me to go, pride notwithstanding, she would proactively take him off FB and ask me if I'm now willing to go.
I hear you, so I'm trying to play this very cool, but sometimes it feels so stupid. Why don't I just go to her and say "You say you're worried I'll never get past what happened, yet you're keeping OM on your FB page. How am I supposed to let it go when you can't? Is keeping him on your FB page worth destroying our chances at reconciliation and us not going to Disney together as a family? Is this really what you want?"
Does that make me look weak?
Yes.
SHE needs to be the one to come to YOU, with a sincere, heartfelt "What will it take?" moment of contrition.
