Puppy - I read the setting them free thread a while ago. It's time to read it all over again. The one thing I have not tried yet is truly setting her free. I'm not sure I can even honestly do it for real, but hopefully reading the thread again will help me.
I really don't have another choice other than licking up crumbs, which satisfies me in the moment, but even I know it doesn't help long term.
The Good Book says, "there is wisdom in many counselors." Yes, we are supposed to have faith, and hope, but we are also to be WISE, and seek COUNSEL, and then boldly act on that counsel, praying for strength if we need to.
What you are doing isn't good for you OR your wife, and it's really sad to me that this is what you're teaching your son.
The Good Book says, "there is wisdom in many counselors." Yes, we are supposed to have faith, and hope, but we are also to be WISE, and seek COUNSEL, and then boldly act on that counsel, praying for strength if we need to.
What you are doing isn't good for you OR your wife, and it's really sad to me that this is what you're teaching your son.
Puppy
That's my point Puppy. Hope really isn't a choice, so my only one is to somehow set her free. I can hope in one hand and s_it in the other and I know which will get full first.
What I am doing must not be good for me or after 8 months of separation I would be more than happy to set her free. But, I think I have done a good job of only letting my son see so much of my struggle. I think my kids believe I am doing much better than I really am.
ok, maybe I misunderstood you. If you're saying that the only hope you have is to finally set her free, then I agree with you. "Licking up crumbs" is no way to live -- even for a mongrel dog.
I think "setting them free" is a choice we have to make over and over. We make the decision and are firm about it, but something happens and we might waiver, but we have to re-affirm to ourselves that we are setting them free. I think it is too much to expect that it will "take" on the first try, but it is something to keep striving for. Aren't we too good for crumbs at this stage of our lives?????
Dagny
Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11 DB #1 4/2002-8/2003 Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out Living with OW
No contact with WAW since last Sunday when we had dinner with the kids. Kids told me she is not coming over tomorrow (Sunday) since she is getting ready for a party at her place on Sunday. She certainly is much better at GAL than me. I doubt that's the only reason she isn't coming over.
I am sticking with my goal of not contacting her. A co-worker wants to set me up with her 26 yo friend. I saw pictures on FB. She is hot!!!! Today I finally said she could invite her to a company outing in September as my date. Considering I am 41 with a 19 yo daughter it seems kinda crazy for me to date a 26 yo, but I have to start somewhere and I could do worse!
I do plan on having the setting her free talk with WAW in the near future, but other than that, I hope I can resist the temptation to contact and have the guts to go through with my date.
