Blindsided, Just served with papers!

[dsh4320]

Not much new to report, wanted a little feedack on post above. Went out with some friends last night, did a little flirting and had a good time. I am suppose to go with W and kids to church tonight, I am not going to contact her, if she doesnt contact me, I will show up to church and do my thing. If she shows up fine, if not I will keep up with what I am doing.

[DanF]

I think your post above is solid. You are right. These are not your problems any more and she needs to figure out how to schedule her life and solve her own problems. You should not be there to rescue her every time she falls.

I think you are doing great!

Keep it up dsh.

[dsh4320]

Thanks DanF,

What gets me down is the empty house, I used to always tell the W that when she went to her family's house with the kids for a weekend it was a nice break. But after a while I miss the kids and just the family in the house. I am going to finish moving stuff over to my "new" place tomorrow I really need to get out of this house, the kids rooms are empty and I find myself going in their rooms and looking at how we painted them, and it gets sad.

[pinhead]

Having a new place will be comforting I think. No constant reminders of "what was."

Hand in there dsh...

[dsh4320]

true Pin,

I need to get outta here.....

[LSG]

dsh,

I feel so bad for you. It must be really difficult for you. I am not sure how I will feel when that happens to me and my family. I am sure it is a very empty feeling.

I wish you well!

[dsh4320]

Thanks LSG,

W has been silent from friday until this morning. She called first and i didnt answer, she sent a text which I waited about an hour to reply. She is basically angry bc I have been hanging out with friends. I asked her why the kids have not called me in 2 days, she said you could have called them? she also said I gave you 2 chances to spend time with them, and its your fault you didnt make the effort. So I quickly replied that you cant expect me to accomadate you at the last minute to spend time with the kids because of your schedule. I simply wrote that we need to accomodate both of our schedules with the kids. She mentioned that we were getting along just fine until I started hanging out with friends. I said that has nothing to do with it, lets get the kids on a schedule that works for both of us and that will be the end of that. So she writes back and says lets both be mature and stop acting like, I cant make her life easier crap. She said we both need to work together and be mature about this. I simply wrote back, that I understand your decision, and I am fine with it, we are better not together. She constantly tries to lay the guilt trip, and says I know you dont need the constant reminder of what is going on, why does she keep playing the card" i know this isnt what you wanted? does she do this to make herself feel better? Is she trying to get a reaction out of me? That is why I wrote her, we are better not together. Maybe she will stop sending me stuff like that.

[TimeHeals]

She constantly tries to lay the guilt trip, and says I know you dont need the constant reminder of what is going on,

My guess? Attachment works its evil magic. She is still dead set on whatever course she has chosen, but she's temperature checking you because... well you were together a long time, and you have kids together.

If you were miserable, she would probably go away feeling like she made the right choice, and the attatchment factor wouldn't be gnawing at her.

[dsh4320]

Thanks TH,

I have been very good not contacting her at all. She wrote back, with less guilt and stated her words in the text a little more friendly. She keeps writing how If i need help when the kids are with me, then she should be the first one I call to take the kids? and on and on. What is the point of checking my temp now? I am not fighting her, I am not pursueing her, I am not going to contest the D, I am letting go.

I have told her I am fine, and agreee we shouldnt be together. It seems she is angry because she refers to me hanging out with friends qute a bit in her texts and it has nothing to do with the kids and schedules.

[TimeHeals]

me hanging out with friends qute a bit in her texts and it has nothing to do with the kids and schedules.

You aren't sitting at home, pining away for her. Big ego blow most likely.

Now... that's my guess because I don't know you. If you were the kind of guy who hung out drinking with his buddies all night, then it could just be the urge to nag you.