That we need to be around each other in some way, or family vacation at XMAS is going to be rough.
Do you really think she wants to go on vacation with you?
Why do you want to go on vacation with her?
IS this really letting her go?
I don't know how she feels about the vacation, other than the last time we spoke she still wanted to go as a family.
I still want to go as a family as well. We managed to do it last year only days after she moved out, so I think we can do it again this year. As for letting her go, by then I hope I have let her go completely and that it will show by my actions that week.
Hmm... I am confused too: how is making vacation plans together letting go?
Why can't that kind of stuff wait until after you two (if this happens) are actually reconcilling?
Sounds--the way I read it anyway--more like being 'stuck'.
In regards to XMAS we are "stuck". We both want our kids to have their annual vacation at XMAS time and we both want to enjoy it with them. So..stuck we are. At least this year, my WAW is paying half the cost.
It's much less than a perfect situation, but then that's our life right now.
Well...I broke my promise and it only took a week. But...
WAW never responded to my email regarding $$$ and D19 starting university. So, I called her on Sunday to see why. Admittedly, I also called because the kids said they were going out for dinner with her.
What should have been a quick chat turned into a 45 minute conversation mostly about our R. Yes..I know! WAW once again clearly stated that "our marriage is over". I know she truly feels that way now, but I've heard that many times before, and we are still not divorced today. I shall choose to believe half of what I hear. I did a very poor job of validating during the conversation, because I let my feelings take over and forgot my db principles at a very important time.
Anyway, the end result was us going out for dinner with the kids as a "family". WAW picked us up and when she took us home, she came in the house. She played chinese checkers with D and her boyfriend and then sat with S16 and our dog for a few minutes.
When she left she initiated a hug with me and we had a quick peck on the lips. Not sure who initiated that. Maybe me. Kinda mutual.
It's not much (crumbs in fact), but at least we had time together for the first time in quite a while.
Now, I need to lay low and see if she feels comfortable enough to come over on Sunday as used to.
Now, I need to lay low and see if she feels comfortable enough to come over on Sunday as used to.
BTM, This is all wrong. You don't lay low to attract her to you. She doesn't want to be comfortable, it's boring. You keep pursuing and wonder why you are stuck. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Quote:
It's not much (crumbs in fact), but at least we had time together for the first time in quite a while.
"A drowning man will grasp at straw." Learn to swim.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I don't lay low??? I meant lay low - as in not persue her this week. Just leave her alone and see if she deicdes to come over on Sunday on her own. How then do I attract her, without persuing? I get the boring thing, but she needs to be comfortable around me to start being around me again. No?
I will grasp at anything. It keeps my hope alive. The reality is that my wife left me 8 months ago, is living happily on her own, and yesterday clealry stated she is never coming back and our marriage is over and I choose to focus on the fact that she came to house, hugged me and gave me a peck on the lips.
Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to #2b. And in the meantime, GAL your ass off, and become the better option. Best case, you'll attract them back, and at a minimum you'll become a better person that will be more attractive to SOMEBODY in your next relationship.
