To Tell or Not to Tell

[LRT Land]

And let's not even talk about the statistics regarding chromosomal abnormalties at my age. I've been stressing about this the last few days and finally bought a test this morning. I was very stressed this month and I'm still hoping the test is wrong, but last time around I became bloated right away and the same thing has happened. So i bought the test and now feel very torn about the whole thing.

The problem with my H is even if he reacts okay when i tell him, chances are he will come back a day or two later and verbally attack me. And just when things were really looking up between us.

[pinhead]

The problem with my H is even if he reacts okay when i tell him, chances are he will come back a day or two later and verbally attack me. And just when things were really looking up between us.

Boundaries

[LRT Land]

Part of what is troubling me about telling him is that I'm not supposed to talk about his lawyer, the M, his separate account, but I should tell him about this? I feel like I'm having a bad dream. I love my DD, and even a year or two ago I probably would have embraced the idea of another child, but the timing is soooooooo wrong. And there are the health concerns.

[pinhead]

LRT,

I know you're scared of his reaction, but it's his child too. He has a right to know. Even if it miscarries, he should know.

Breathe

[Chuck66]

You will decide what is right for you and the timing. In the meantime you have to de-stress. You know what works for you.

[LSG]

LRT,

I agree with PH that he should know.

Take some time to get over the initial feelings you have to make the best decision possible for you.

It will be okay.

[LRT Land]

Thank you for the support. As you can imagine, I'm feeling a bit alone in all of this.

When I was pg with DD at 40, the doctors were amazed and telling me how lucky I am. Now they will probably look at me like I have three heads. This isn't supposed to happen.

[MM78]

I agree with LSG. I'm relatively schooled in fertility/infertility, and statistically that POS test is accurate. I would assume that you are pg and take some time to adjust to the idea yourself. I don't think you have to tell him right away (I don't mean wait 6 months, but one month would be ok). Take care of yourself. I hope the bloat goes away and you don't have to face m/s at all. (((hugs)))

[LRT Land]

Even without all of our M issues, childbirth at age 46 isn't something I ever anticipated. This is just crazy.

[pinhead]

I can barely imagine being a new father at my age (46) but my wife is 36, so not outside the realm of possibility. Well, since there's no X in our sx life, it is outside the realm...

One step at a time. Breathe. Slow is good.