Also since she thinks I lie about everything, last night I forwarded 2 emails to her, that show I was not lying. I did not explain anything only that here "look". I am sure she wont respond or say anything, but it felt good to prove to her from another source, that whne she thought I lied about something that I was telling the truth.
I just realized that no matter what I say to the W right now, she wont believe me. I know its actions over words, but the way things have unfolded if I said its sunny today she wont believe me. So maybe the D, is putting an end to the old M, and we start a new friendship and coparenting schedule. I know she does not like the fact of where I will be staying, but that is not her choice. The thing she got upset about yesterday is that when the mover showed up she thought I canceled a meeting for that. I told her I planned an in home estimate 2 weeks ago and forgot about the guy showing up. Of course she didnt believe me so I forwarded the email from 2 weeks ago regarding the appt. Like I said before no explanation just here ya go, here is the email that shows I was not lying.
I feel like she is still trying to control what I do with my life. She asks about everything, I tell her some and just not everything. She got pissed because old friends(girls) have been sending me stuff on FB about travelling to TX and wanting to meet up. If we were still together I would invite her, I told her that they send me stuff like that and I havent responded. This is where I feel she is still attached, so maybe I can do my best db'ing being apart. I just have to make sure all interaction is pleasant and that the GAL shows big time. any thoughts??
I feel like she is still trying to control what I do with my life. She asks about everything, I tell her some and just not everything. She got pissed because old friends(girls) have been sending me stuff on FB about travelling to TX and wanting to meet up. If we were still together I would invite her, I told her that they send me stuff like that and I havent responded. This is where I feel she is still attached, so maybe I can do my best db'ing being apart. I just have to make sure all interaction is pleasant and that the GAL shows big time. any thoughts??
The only things you should respond to are about kids, house, money. Your private life doesn't concern her anymore and that is due to her choices.
Since you aren't together, tough darts on her getting bent over your old friends. Don't tell her you would have invited her; counterproductive. W needs to have the fear that a.) she's made a mistake b.) you are moving on c.) OW find you worthwhile.
Future interactions w/W:
be pleasant, upbeat only discuss children, house, financial end conversation first
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
My W does not believe anything I say or do until she finds out for herself. It is just that way with WAS. Not much you are able to about it. It is just better to not engage in the drama for yourself.
I just say what I need to, and I do not respond to much else she says. She still tries to control me, and your W is doing the same to you. I think you have made yourself more attractive to her from what I have read of your thread so far.
Continue to DB because you never know what could happen.
Have a pleasant and peaceful day.
Last edited by LSG; 08/18/1006:56 PM.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Thanks Vlcanized and LSG, BTW LSG I sent you an email reply. I spoke with my Mom who said your W has made a choice, let her go. My Mom also said that, your W has wanted to change you since you guys met, and she cant, bc you are you. Mom says W is a narcicist, which I think most people have some of that, but when they become a WAS, it heightens it quite a bit. They put their needs and wants above all, including the kids.
Mom says you both have made mistakes, at least you will own up to them. If the W does not then she will carry that baggage with her, as well as the baggage she still carries from her childhood. W is just like her Dad, a narcisist to no end. When we have problems she becomes a daddy's girl again, and that last a few months then he disappears like he has done throughout her life. He has come to the rescue recently loaning her money for L, new place and a cell phone but that tree aint gonna keep shedding money for her, he is as cheap as they come.
Ok I was about to leave the house today to go get the kids and the W walked in and started talking to me about simple stuff. She then asked if she could get me any groceries, I said no dont worry about it. She then came overto me gave me a hug, and buried her face in my chest for a good 3 minutes. I said what is that for as i rubbed her back. She just said "cuz" and then walked away and said "with a smile "stop trying to make me hate you" I smiled and said Im not trying to do anything. She rolled her eyes and smiled.
She then said why dont you come over to the house tonight with the kids after the gym for dinner. I said ok, then reminded her that I cant. She asked why? I said I have a C appointment. She asked what time, then said well come over for dinner and you can leave from the house. I said ok and left to get kids and go workout. As I was working out I started to think, I should just take the kids over check out the house compliment on the house and leave. Which is what I did, said the C moved up the appointment and I couldnt stick around.
I told her she could take all the kitchen stuff and decorations around the house, since I am moving in with a friend and it will save money on storage. I said when I get my own place we can split things up then. She agreed. I told her I was moving in with my buddy this weekend, which I think she is till a little upset about, but again this is her choice and I have to do what I have to do.
My S is still very confused. He does not like the fact I am not staying at the new house. He kept saying on the way there he wanted to stay with daddy, D was asleep on the car so she didnt have much input
So for now I think there is some hope, in reality this is happening for the best right now. She will either succeed in what she feels is the best thing for her, or not, but that is up to her. I can tell she is still attached, I keep saying this, but I am not feeling like I am analyzing or reading her mind, but she seems to be feeling right in her decision, but still having trouble letting go of me. So now it is time to fully DB to the best of my ability, didnt mean to make it rhyme.
