I agree. Figure out what YOU WANT NOW. I fought for joint residency from day 1 and got it w NO SUPPORT. You're DAMN RIGHT dont make it easy for her.
You might want to consider "nesting" which is both parents sharing the family home on their nights. That is what I did w my X for the first 6 mons or so. on the days I didnt have my daughter I stayed at a buddies house. If she wants to move out then great, but just make sure YOU fight for YOUR TIME.
I plan on it PMA, she has already signed a lease, she wants me to tell my family about the D(which I have not yet) but I do plan on requesting that at the hearing.
I am not going to make it easy for her, I will be friendly and help her where I can but I won't be at her "disposal".
The funny thing is is that what she is doing is pretty much what my proposal was except I wanted the D put on hold. So all I can do now is go with what is happening and let the chips fall where they may.
GEEZ, the W is moving fast, she has already grabbed omst of the stuff she is taking, and I guess today is when the kids and her start staying at the new house. It feels a little weird, I guess she didnt want me to help her move. IT feels a little strange right now, i am a little down about everything.
W came by we had a huge blowup, I told her I was fine with her decision to leave, but to do it not talk to me about it in refenerence to our children really got me boiling. She still kept going to the lying stuff, she thinks I lie about everything now, she cant trust me this and that. I told her it was disrespectful for her to say the best thing for the kids is her leaving me. I told her that is inappropriate and she said she meant its the best thing for her. I replied that its probably the best thing for me as well, and to leave the kids out of it. I told her that "we" need to talk to the kids about what is going on, she is doing all this on a minutes notice and without consulting me, I told her they are my kids too, and she needs to stop making decisions for them and not include me, I will bring all this up in court when we have our hearing. I am so pissed right now I cant even see straight,,,,help....
So I came back from a meeting, W still does not have the power on at her place yet so when I got home, W and kids were curled up in my bed wwatching TV. W was civil, she was laying on my side of the bed with her head buried in my pillow. I dont know if she will have the power on tomorrow or not at her place, I am planning on moving stuff over to my buddy's house this weekend.
The kids were a little restless, W got up and moved to the couch. We did not talk about anything other than her asking me about my meeting which I said went well. I was trying to calm the kids down and she put her hand on my shoulder and the other hand around my waste to get me to leave the room and let them be. She hasnt touched me like that in 6 weeks, felt kinda nice actually. I know things are still going where they are going, and just need to press on. I am so lost right now, this happened so quick and why does it not phase her one bit? she seems to do all this stuff so quickly, all the time she complains about me reacting to stuff, when that is exactly what she is doing herself, getting mad or upset and reacting quickly.
I will feel better once I am out of this house, even though we have only been in it 2 years, it was a house we moved in to as a family when we decided to reconcile the first time. It does hurt quite a bit. I am going to go curl up with my S, D went to the couch with the W.
W said she moved quickly since she had time today, and S starts school monday. She says she wanted the kids to get adjusted with their new home. We are going to a meet the teachers meeting on thursday together and as I said before W still wants to attend church as a family. I am only getting insurance for me and the kids going forward. I still dont know how she plans on affording her new place at 1k a month when she barely brings in 2k. I think she is moving too quickly and she is going to fall on her @ss.
dsh, you will feel better in your own place, you'll be busy doing things the way YOU want to do them, putting things where you like, and though you'll feel a heck of a lot of twinges, the pain will go away.
Keep focusing on your son and daughter. They need you to be a rock; strong, not melty man.
Don't focus on your wife falling on her @ss. It's not what you really want, and it's negative energy. Push negative thoughts/energy as far away as you can.
I do need to stay away from the negative energy, Chuck I dont have any control of slow or fast, W is driving a friggin stock car here, does anywone know a similar sitch to this? one day she is back and forth the next she is leasing a place and moving at the speed of light? I am trying to stay focused on what I need to do, but the overwhelming frustration of how quickly this is happening is creating havoc in my head.
