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IDU,

She's testing you, seeing if you still care.

Keep the good focus you have. Your kids are very lucky to have you!

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Quote:
did not react to her at all. Everything she does now just makes it easier for me to follow through with what I have put in motion. She has again broken a big boundary that we have talked about numerous times. No phone call, no txt, nothing. And, to my surprise, I wasn't going crazy when she was late. I didn't care. Yes, it still bothers me. My M is over. She can do what she want and has proven over and over again that she is going to do just that.

I am calm and I am moving forward. What she does is of no interest to me. I have started the process of dissolving this M, something I never wanted to do and something I should have done long ago. My M is gone, my W is gone but I have four great kids who I have to help ease their pain as much as I can.

I DID NOT CHOOSE THIS


We didn't choose the situation were in, but have adapted well.

After stating the above, you should now be idounderstand!

Good work!
gr8


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
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Nice work IDU. Hang in there, you are doing great.

keep the focus on you and the kids and let her go. Best of luck.

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I'm sure she is testing me. That kind of stuff is much easier to see now than it was a few months ago. I'm not backing down now. Like you said on your thread, gr8: I know what I want now and don't know if W could give that to me.

I do still have some hope that she is softening and will change her mind. I don't need her, though. I finally understand at least that much.


Me-43
W-36
TS-10
D-7
S-4
M-11
Rings off-8/16/2010

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1933641#Post1933641
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Originally Posted By: idontunderstand
I'm sure she is testing me. That kind of stuff is much easier to see now than it was a few months ago. I'm not backing down now. Like you said on your thread, gr8: I know what I want now and don't know if W could give that to me.

I do still have some hope that she is softening and will change her mind. I don't need her, though. I finally understand at least that much.


She has now become something you want, not something you need, and that makes all the difference. You are able to avoid attaching any emotion to her actions, which keeps you from being hurt by the poor ones and suckered by the good ones.

You are standing up for what is right. You are doing what God Himself would have you do. You are letting Him deal with her.

Very very nice work.


WAW Using God
Me-43
W-40
M-14
S-11
S-9
D-7
EABomb 5/09
Separated 12/09
pigskin #2055523 08/12/10 07:55 PM
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Thanks, Pigskin. I keep plugging along and trying. I remember feeling like I was running out of time. I've been on here since Feb. A person's perspective sure can change a lot in a short amount of time.

I still hold out some hope. She has never stopped wearing her ring. I know that shouldn't mean anything to me and it may not mean anything to her, but I can't help but notice. I remember when you drew the heart in the snow for your wife. It didn't mean anything at the time but maybe she filed that in her mental Rolo-dex and she looks back on it and smiles. Who knows. It's so clear now that letting go is the only thing that helps us. We still hope for what would be best for our families but we know we will be fine either way. I apprciate how you told me to take one thing at a time. It is easier that way. I tend to think about the whole sitch at once. I can handle it. It won't be easy but that's okay.

I still hate to have to go as far as filing. I know that is just the first step and I can stop it from going any further. I don't know if pride would get in her way if she did decide to come back. That's something else that is out of my control.


Me-43
W-36
TS-10
D-7
S-4
M-11
Rings off-8/16/2010

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1933641#Post1933641
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If you file her L will file a counter claim. If you pull your paperwork the D still continues. Just making sure you know this.


Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21
Bomb June 18, 2010
I filed D July 20, 2010
W filed counter suit Aug 2
Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
Chuck66 #2055559 08/12/10 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted By: Chuck66
If you file her L will file a counter claim. If you pull your paperwork the D still continues. Just making sure you know this.


I do, Chuck. I guess it's just wishfull thinking on my part that this will shock her enough to want to stop it and not let it go any further. Either way, I want this phase of my life over with one way or the other.


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M-11
Rings off-8/16/2010

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1933641#Post1933641
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Just one quick thing to add:

As I was leaving this morning, I asked W who would be watching the kids tonight. She said that the twins group she is the pres. of is having a skating party at such and such so we didn't need a sitter. I said, okay and left.

Now, in the past I would have fumed about not being invited or included as I always was before this all started. I would not have went because I "felt" left out. I will be going tonight because my kids want me there. I don't care if she doesn't even look at me. I will have fun and my kids will have fun. That is all that matters.


Me-43
W-36
TS-10
D-7
S-4
M-11
Rings off-8/16/2010

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1933641#Post1933641
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Good attitude buddy. Have a great time tonight. You are doing great!

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