Okay D13 comes home around 2 weeks ago and tells me about this song that H was listening to, and seemed upset while singing it and sad.
I really don't get this this MLC stuff, this is really confusing. He doesn't contact but has problems with certain songs and gets filled up in front of his family and our D13. Just had to share they lyrics with everyone.
Going crazy my heart is breaking I can't sleep at all Trying to get through this Don't know how I'll do this I know that I only got my self to blame (only got myself to blame) But that doesn't help to ease the pain (doesn't help to ease the pain) I'll just die if I can't see your face
[Chorus:] Until you come back I can't breath Until you come back I got no reason Got my heart, my heart down on it's knees I still need you beside me
[Verse 1:] Now it's morning Your still gone and I still reach for you (still reach for you) Don't know how to Live without you I will, I can take back all the hurt I've caused (take back all the hurt I've caused) If I could give back all the love I lost (give back all the love I lost) The price I pay is just to high of a cost yea
[Chorus:] Until you come back I can't breath Until you come back I got no reason Got my heart, my heart down on it's knees I still need you beside me
[Verse 2:] Please forgive me (forgive me) If we had one more chance in your life (one more chance in your life) Till your with me I'll be half a life until you come back (back back)
[Chorus:] Until you come back I can't breath Until you come back I got no reason Got my heart, my heart down on it's knees Cause I need you beside me
[Chorus:] Until you come back I can't breath Until you come back I got no reason Got my heart, my heart down on it's knees I still need you beside beside beside beside me
You were asking Imlin to look at your thread. I have been reading it for a while. I know you have been at this for a while. We have spoken many times. What are you doing for GF? I have no clue what this song means but you need to let him approach you. Do not take this as a means to break your NC with him. You are doing well with that. Maybe he is moving in the tunnel. Is there stil an OW?
Please continue to work on you and be the best MOM you can be for D13. I am concerned for her being the go between between your H and you. That is not good.
I'm sorry Lance, what is GF? And no there hasn't been an OW and still isn't.
I'm confused....moving in the tunnel or out of the tunnel?
I'm working on myself still and I'm also concerned about D13. He won't communicate any other way, which I have told him from the very beginning that it isn't good for her at all, but he keeps doing it. I really don't know why either.
If there is no OW - GF(GoodFight) your husband is very depressed. His actions show up as a very low energy/depressed person.
The movement I was talking about was within the tunnel, hopefully forward toward the light at the end. But he is still deep in there. Since you are NC with him, and I am not suggesting you change that, it is hard to tell if he is peeking out or not. (that is in reference to the song you posted).
I knew GF was for Goodfight but in the middle of the sentence from Lance thought it was for girlfriend. I'm losing it. LOL
Oh, by the way. H is moving for the 4th time and is moving further from his mother and step-father. Not by much but this shocked me and D13 said he didn't sign a lease this time either. Hope I'm not getting my hopes up, but I'm thrilled that maybe he might think he might want to reconcile one day and doesn't want to be stuck with a lease.
I was shocked! But then again, I know. NO expectations!! But it just seems like little things are happening with him. He is paying for 1/2 of D13's stuff for soccer for the first time since the separation. He talked to my S19 for the first time in almost a year. He told D13 to tell my S19 that he said "Hi" the other day. And now he is moving away from his real mother just like he did when he moved away from his step-mother.
Just hoping and praying he is coming out of this tunnel!
GF, Just catching up on the last couple pages of your thread. Very sad that the IL's are such obstacles. Completely relate to that.
Echoing what everyone else said, he needs to hit his own rock bottom. And when he does and looks your way, what will he find?
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
It has been a long time, but I think I'm finally getting stronger and less depressed.
I thank God for that!!! I'm still standing for my M. Hopefully he is making baby steps as far as helping with D13's stuff for soccer and talking to my S19 last week for the first time in almost a year.
I'm hoping that when H looks my way he will see the person he wanted to marry in the beginning!!!
I was on vacation last week and didn't have a computer. My computer has a virus at home. Anyway, I thought I was seeing baby steps of him coming out of the fog. He didn't sign a lease with his new place, offered to pay 1/2 of our daughter's soccer, and there were a few more things but can't remember right now.
Then last Monday he told our daughter he was going to help with groceries on Thursday and then at the end of the month he would give her 1/2 of what soccer I had to pay for over a month ago.
So in between this mess, she was at a friend's house and was on Facebook, and she went on his and he changed his status from complicated to Single (this killed me inside because I was thanking God for the small things, and that was one of them, that he at least didn't have Single on his Facebook and here he does now.) She texted him, and said Dad you aren't single and he said Bree, it's almost 2yrs. and I'm single, why is this bothering you and she replied because Daddy I was hoping that someday we could be a family again and he told her that it would never work out. And she said would if you and Mommy went on a date and he replied no thanks, and she said would if I asked Mommy and she says yes, then would you go? And he said no thanks and good bye.
And she said of course Dad when it gets tough you just say good bye right??? So she said about 20 minutes later he calls her and asks if someone else had her phone and she said no. Then he asked her who put her up to what she said, and she said no one Dad I was at my friends house. Then he asked her where she was at that time when they were talking and she told him the park.
So a couple hours later she comes home all upset and tells me what happened so I texted him and told him that I told her that it wasn't her business what he was doing and that I talked to her and she seems okay with everything. I then thanked him for helping with groceries and soccer and told him I greatly appreciate it because I'm really struggling. I didn't expect a response and of course didn't get one but wow! She is going to be 14 soon, she is very smart and doesn't need anyone putting her up to things, and finally spoke up to him and this is what she gets!
Well, she texted him on Wednesday because we were school shopping a little and asked if he was still going to help with the groceries the next day and he texts her back "Where the hell would you like me to get the money?" "I send money to you every week for your needs." Our daughter couldn't believe it, so I took stuff out of the cart and told her I will come up with the money for the rest that she needs, but I needed money for groceries since he wasn't going to help. She said "Mom, he makes me feel like I'm going crazy, I know he told me just the other day that he was going to help us." I actually started to cry in the store.
I told her, she is not going crazy, and I know how she feels. He was doing that to me, every time we talked. I don't know what the heck to think, one minute he seems like he is taking baby steps and then goes right back to being an jerk.
Well, that was my week and here I thought it was going to be a good one, since the card reader told me that I would be hearing important good news about H, and when I heard he didn't sign a lease this time (this is 4 times he has moved) I texted her and asked her when she was reading again to check on me if she had the time and she did and said yes, that was your important good news and that she sees him thinking about his future and wanting to try to work things out, but he won't be home right off the bat.
Well, my week was awful!! I cried and cried, was on the couch most of the week and got nothing accomplished that I needed to as far as the house cleaning or really anything.
Things are breaking around the house, I can't afford to hire anyone and I have no one to help me. I just feel so overwhelmed again.
They said this MLC is a roller coaster, well they've got that right. Is this normal for H to say these things to our D13 and then act like he never said it? I should say normal for a MLC'er?
He doesn't and hasn't spoken to me since June, but talks and acts sad around D13 with certain stuff and asks if I have a BF. Still is drinking really heavy too. I guess he has really gone dark. Does it hurt them when they contact us, if their family wants the D also? He is being pushed to D me on top of his crisis. Not another woman but his family.
