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Quote:
I guess what started the R talk was when she said, you and I are not at the same place right now are we?


I don't know, Dear, where are you right now?

Quote:
She also said she feels like an abused dog, which either bites or leaves.


Well, Dear, if you are going to bite me, we better make sure you get your shots first smile


M-47,W-40,No kids
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HAHA TH, yes some of her comparisons are a bit lame? Anyway left the house before they all woke up and didnt get home with the kids until after the gym at 7. W was home, and chipper. So all I can do is be upbeat(which I am) and focus focus focus on me and what I need to do. I feel she is always looking at me, when I turn towards her she looks away. I dont react just keep doing my thing. I am talkative she is as well.

I think the talk last night was a mistake, but what is done is done, no more. The issue I am having is do I register my S in the school that will be where I am moving too> W has made no effort the register our S, and its 2 weeks until he is suppose to start, I think I should and if she has a problem with it tough sh!t, he needs to be in school.

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Originally Posted By: pinhead
God be with you


And also with you ;-)

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I registered my kids yesterday. Took me 2 hours! I also bought all their school supplies, got their shot records, birth certificates, SSN cards, and proof that I live in the district.

WAS' don't help around the house or family much... :>P


Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21
Bomb June 18, 2010
I filed D July 20, 2010
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I agree Chuck, W is already complaining about working 2 jobs, since the bomb I have not helped her with her laundry(not totally true) I still help when she leaves her fing clothes in the dryer, one of my pet peaves I cant help but pull them out and fold them, I hate wrinkled clothes(can you say OCD).

We were going to watch a movie, W fell asleep on the couch while the kids were still up. I woke her and said you look tired why dont you go to bed, she did and has been a little pissy about it. Earlier she said someone at work told her she looks taller when she straightens her hair. I said your face looks bigger when you straighten your hair. Her jaw dropped and looked at me with anger! I smiled and said when your hair is curly it makes your face look thinner thats all. She said she has to work at daycare saturday night, and offered for me to drop kids off there at 5. I said well I can just take them to church? she said I figured we would go to church as a family on Sunday, I said ok and shrugged my shoulders.

On another note, I have some real crap brewing with some business issues that are pretty serious and are taking on my complete focus. Which for my sitch at home will help I guess, but it doesnt help that it makes me very moody and I have to turn that mood off when I get home and pretend to be all giddy smile

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My wife works only 1 job but stays there 11 hours a day. Escapism or EA, who knows? Too many watching her for PA.

Why wake her up. Turn the TV off and go to bed with her still on the couch. I like to give the WAS a taste of what it's going to be like outside of the M.

I bought Rib Eye steaks and had them in the fridge overnight. W's favorite cut of meat. She got home late again. The kids had hotdogs and I grilled and ate half the steak. She wasn't home until after I bathed the kids, brushed their teeth, etc. She thinks she wants to be single, then she can fend for her own supper and not see her kids go to bed.

LOL about "makes you face look bigger"! I wouldn't have even said that line before the WAS syndrome arrived!

I am also starting to cut her out of family events. The next baseball game I am going to tell her I'd just like to go with the kids. Same with church. We won't be doing those things after the D so she's better get used to it.

You saying, "ok and shrugging your shoulders" reinforces the idea that you will always be her safety net. You don't want to be a safety net for any of her options. It's ok to say no. There is no mystery to you if you are always there.


Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21
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yes chuck, that is where I get in between the fences. I am dealing with a W who has said that she has felt neglected. So I am dealing with trying to include her, but not beg she gets one invite if she doesnt want to go, then I dont ask her again. I am trying to be friends again, without being a doormat.

W just waved me upstairs cuz, D got out of bed and curled up and fell asleep in the hallway. I asked the W if she got a second wind, she said she felt like soaking in the bath, I told her I had work to do, you can use the big bath in the master, up to you, and walked away. She started the bath upstairs.

Again I am trying to just be cordial. I do feel for the sake of our kids and if there is any hope I need to be friendly. I feel that is part of the DBing, If I am not that way, then she will think i am not moving on, or acting as if. Can someone repost robx thread?

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Detachment with love.
Pursuing or not pursuing.
Testing the waters.
Testing too often.

I am still trying to figure out the nuances too.


Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21
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I filed D July 20, 2010
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Originally Posted By: dsh4320
yes chuck, that is where I get in between the fences. I am dealing with a W who has said that she has felt neglected. So I am dealing with trying to include her, but not beg she gets one invite if she doesnt want to go, then I dont ask her again. I am trying to be friends again, without being a doormat.

W just waved me upstairs cuz, D got out of bed and curled up and fell asleep in the hallway. I asked the W if she got a second wind, she said she felt like soaking in the bath, I told her I had work to do, you can use the big bath in the master, up to you, and walked away. She started the bath upstairs.

Again I am trying to just be cordial. I do feel for the sake of our kids and if there is any hope I need to be friendly. I feel that is part of the DBing, If I am not that way, then she will think i am not moving on, or acting as if. Can someone repost robx thread?


This is essential. Why would she want to stay with someone spiteful, vindictive or mean? You're doing well.

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Thanks Pin,

I need to focus on this. I do feel sometimes I am giving too much, but I have thrown an alternative out there compared to the D, she has a few weeks to think about it, if she doesnt jump at it her loss. While she is thinking I will focus on the friendly and corial side, without being a doormat. Im sure I will have to put my foot down at times and also set some boundaries. But things will move forward in either direction which I have no control over. The only thing I can control are my actions, which is what I need to focus on.

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