dsh - It's possible about the finances - I had a friend who did that very thing. However, don't mind read. And what does it matter? In the end that won't determine whether she stays or not. How she feels about you and the relationship will determine whether she stays.
making progress - I am not a "hugger." Having said that, as long as I have some connection to someone I don't mind being touched. The more intimate the touching the stronger the connection required. Hope that helps.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
The problem I have, as a woman, is once I feel detached the other person's touch would be unwelcome. They would have to woo me first - win me back. I think slow and steady wins the race in that situation.
I don't disagree. I am just digging into "are acts of service and gifts the way to deal with this?".
My gut is telling me "validation": don't fight her or try to change her mind, don't get angry or upset, accept her. I could be wrong.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
That is my point LRT, I am not doing anything to try and control the outcome. that would be having expectations, I am doing things that feel right to me at the time, hearing what she says, and acting on what feels appropriate at the time.
I think that instinct is often underestimated here. We know our WASs better than anyone usually, even though we have usually missed out on the incoming Bomb. Looking back, I knew a few years ago that something was eventually going to happen. I just wasn't mature enough to deal with it. Nobody around me had a 2x4 handy...
I left a card for my wife in her car last night. I didn't expect anything from it. It only had three words (not ILY). It felt appropriate, and when she read it, she went on to work instead of getting an axe and making mincemeat of me.
Instinct can get you into real trouble with pursuing, but at times, your instincts can really work wonders.
Went to the gym, W is working at the kids daycare until midnight, its one of those drop hourly places that have become very popular the last couple of years. One of her friends reached out to me today, she is the only person that W confides in who will tell her she is making a bad decision. As I have said before W's family and I dont get along. The enable her big time. W texted me today and said she is going horseback riding on sunday. This friend is who has the horses, and has spoken with the W for the last 3 months about our sitch. of course our bomb didnt happen until about a month ago, the friend told me W was thinking about D 3 months ago, ROBX you were right once again. Anyway her friend said to me, you are the best thing that ever happened to W, she is still on love with you, very attracted to you, but balming you for her unhappiness(go figure).
The friend, who knows nothing about these sites or techniques has told me basically what is taught here. She says your W needs to know what life is like without you, she said go on as if you are done. I told her about the few nice things I have done, and she said, Hey thats ok, but at the same time you can be nice to your W you can also be nice and move on.
I think its funny though, WA's will not hang out with their friends who tell them they are messing up, this friend will tell her that and she is going to go hang out with her on Sunday. I think its interesting..... but I cant read in to it.
W also texted me and said her friend and her BF are joining us for church tomorrow night(another plus). I did text the wife earlier today and said if you need me to do anything for you today let me know. She didnt respond until before I dropped the kids off, she sent a text asking me to bring her something big and cold to drink. So I went by Sonic and got her favorite Route 44 powerade. She thanked me and I left the daycare.
I am going to text her and let her know I am going out to shoot some pool. She will probably get home b4 me and figured I would let her know.
just got home from going out with some of the guys shooting pool. Drank diet coke and a couple of Odouls, saw some pretty women, wore my ring with pride and did not hear or get a text from the W all night. they were all in bed when got home. I did send her a text earlier that I was going out, she never responded. It is what it is, will see how the weekend goes.
im not going to text her today, we have plans to go to church tonight with some friends, the one friend is the friend I mentioned above who has told the W she is making a big mistake. So again a person who will not agree with W, has been invited to join us for church, like I said people dont want to hang out with people who tell them what they are doing is wrong. I think its interesting, I am going to get some laundry done, go to the gym then drop kids off to the W and go look at a house.
