At least she is still in the house. Mine gave me the same line ilybnilwy think that is it. And it is another guy, she has been talking about it on facebook and even carried on a conversation with a classmate about it today which I was CCd on. But she said I was the one that is nuts and phsyco, why cause he grabbed my hand begged me not to go and that he just wont give up letting me go was her excuse. So Im going to really focus on GAL and 180 wish me luck. (I dont hold hope out for us after what I read tonight) also the other man a police officer she and him are devising a plan so I dont know if I should expose this, go public or really how to handle it. I actually feeling a bit worried he might use his powers against me. I think he is also married and would love to find out how to get in touch with his spouse.
Well good luck man
Mark
Me 36 WAW 24 S 4 D 2(My Kids/her step kids) S15,D14,S10,D11 Love you but not in love with you 6/8/2010 Left/Bomb 6/20/2010 D filed 6/23/2010 M 4 T 5 1/2
I am still involved in law enforcement. I work part time to keep my license active, just dont get paid for it anyway, if she is getting involved with a police officer, you need to expose it. Depending on department policy, a lot of departments discourage anything like you are saying, they want their officers to be upstanding with morals and ethics. I say rock his world through his employer, It sickens me when people mess around with married people.
If he tries to use his powers, in my state that is considered offical oppression which is a felony. Law enforcement cannot use their authority to threaten or cause anyone harm outside of enforcing the law. Depending on your state most states do have some law in place for such actions. If he tries document it, report it and expose the pr!ck.
helped put the kids to bed, W obviously got the card, which was pretty much a card that spoke of things in the past cannot be undone, the fact I reflect on problems and apologize for the hurting it caused. the end of the card says I love you and always will. She was given a single red rose and a gift card for a facial and back treatment. I gave it with no expectations, a little worried she was going to flip out about the cost, or say something like dont do things like that. Neither happened. She looked very tired, she was lying on the bed with our D falling asleep on her chest. She looked at me and said she is asleep. I walked over and picked our D up rocked her a bit and laid her down in her bed. W looked at me while I did this, got up and went in her room.
I finally have my laptop back and can type and journal from bed. I did not say anything about the gift, and I will not bring it up, again no expectations.
I tried something different, against Robx's advice which is probably why he isnt posting on my thread anymore Our S pciked up the rose and said "mommy where did you get this from'? W says Daddy gave it to mommy.
So for now nothing really changed, still have time on my side.
Bro, you are my "brutha from anutha mutha", I wouldn't abandon you because you aren't listening to my advice, my advice is given freely without a requirement for you to do anything other than read it and consider it.
I have seriously been busy at work, after work and sick as a dog, bronchitis and these antibiotics ain't doing a damn thing, I cough so hard my head/brain hurts after a while.
I haven't left you, I'm still here, just more active on some days when I'm feeling better.
As for your sitch, you're doing ok and like I've said in the past, you can handle it. We had a feeling that she was fishing for stuff to possibly use against you in a divorce filing, the fact that she filed a couple weeks after asking you to leave suggests that this was in motion for some time now, filing for divorce and getting you served within 1-2 weeks is pretty darn fast for legal proceedings which leads me to believe it was probably filed more than a few weeks ago.
Keep doing what you're doing as for you are concerned, take care of yourself and your kids, be the best person you can be for you first and your kids second, don't worry about your wife. You have gone through this before with your first separation and you have given her a wake up call as far as the house is concerned. Her working 2 jobs and having joint custody is going to prove to be a lot more work than she is anticipating plus now she has deal with the consequences of her decisions, she wants to divorce and with the looming spectre of the house issue, she'll have to find a place she can afford for herself and for the kids (and you will also).
The gift purchase is pursuing, you know it, that's why you're questioning it yourself but switching things up every now & then can't be a bad thing but I still consider it pursuing. She filed for divorce against you and you bought her gifts, that's like rewarding someone for bad behavior and that's something I don't do but I can't force anyone to adopt my views, just maybe think about it a little next time.
Have a good night, we'll talk to you guys tomorrow, for now, I'm pooped, long day at work and my chest and head are killing me ;-)
yes it is pursueing, and yes she has moved quickly, I also think about the first S, I filed quickly then, maybe she was freaked that she needed to file before I did. Dont Know. Yes it will be a wake up call. I think her Dad is a driving force in this as well. He is 50 something divorced and lonely. He and I dont get along, I have told him in the past he was a sh!tty father. He is enabling her by giving her money for L and probably will give her money for a place, but he wont be an endless money tree.
Again, I am trying something different bcuz the other stuff wasnt working for M. But I want everyone to know I am working on me, and the fact that I am doing different things makes me feel better about myself, I can look back and say I tried
Trying new things is always a good idea, especially when what you've been doing isn't working. I've started different things than the LRT etc would normally suggest, but I think it's important to remember that DB/DR is a set of guides, not a rigid instruction set.
At least she is still in the house. Mine gave me the same line ilybnilwy think that is it. And it is another guy, she has been talking about it on facebook and even carried on a conversation with a classmate about it today which I was CCd on. But she said I was the one that is nuts and phsyco, why cause he grabbed my hand begged me not to go and that he just wont give up letting me go was her excuse. So Im going to really focus on GAL and 180 wish me luck. (I dont hold hope out for us after what I read tonight) also the other man a police officer she and him are devising a plan so I dont know if I should expose this, go public or really how to handle it. I actually feeling a bit worried he might use his powers against me. I think he is also married and would love to find out how to get in touch with his spouse.
Well good luck man
Handle it how its done in this situation. There are others who have had to get police officer's off of their spouses. You're going to have to find out the right way to do this, and get it done without telling them what your doing.
I am trying to mix it up a bit. I have given her something to show some affection and love but I am also detached not showing to be needy showing strength. I guess the best way to put it is that I want to work on M, but if it doesnt happen I will move on.
With the pending house sitch, she basically has until the 1st to find a place to live. Or we rent a place together and keep working on us. She has not said anything about the gift nor has she made any arrangements for a place. I at least have been looking. I am going to ask her to watch the kids for part of the weekend so i can go look at some rentals. I will see if she offers to "come along".
The waiting game is what sucks. I know a lot of people here would rahter it be done, or get back to working on M, but we all have to wait.
As long as there is an affair partner in the marriage, you will not be able to move forward. Efforts with your spouse will set you back until they are gone.
anyway, if she is getting involved with a police officer, you need to expose it. Depending on department policy, a lot of departments discourage anything like you are saying, they want their officers to be upstanding with morals and ethics. I say rock his world through his employer, It sickens me when people mess around with married people.