It will not be easy because legally I could take her to court for equity that belongs to me.
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If your name is not on the mortgage how do you have claim to any equity?
Let's hope it never reaches that point.
Stay focused on the GAL and 180s.
You said you have seen results thus far, that's good.
Be very careful not to talk about R too soon. Keep doing your changes and let her bring up R talk.
If she asks you something a good response is I'll think about that"
Keep up the good work. gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I consulted L for my options. There are cohabitation laws that may let me claim the equity. It requires a Judge's hearing and that's where the dirty stuff may have to come out. I do not want that to happen.
I already dodged the second attempt by her to discuss the moving out business. She came out with all sorts of logical options. I told her that working on myself is my priority right now without which I cannot make such big decisions. She agreed.
That was before the drunk meltdown.
So when she comes home drunk again, I will get up and leave the house. She will pass out shortly anyway so all I have to do is to drive around the block.
Signs are beginning to emerge, but the insanity is there too. She is walking in such a thick fog or as my IC said, she is living in a lie.
I have only been truly DB'ing for a week. Baby steps, baby steps...
So when she comes home drunk again, I will get up and leave the house. She will pass out shortly anyway so all I have to do is to drive around the block.
pook, LMAO
that was funny.
That's good that you talked to a L and know where you stand.
A lot of folks here don't protect themselves.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I am having a session with my IC tomorrow morning. That is only the second one. It's been week and a half since my first one. He wanted to let the DR book to sink in and see what I have learned.
I have learned a great deal from the book and this forum.
When I was going to my IC I told him about the book and MWD and he said he hadn't heard of either.
I stopped going b/c it felt as if I were running the session.
I went a few more times to talk about me anxiety though.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I will give IC a couple of tries. My IC thinks that there is remote possibility at some point to pull my W into the sessions.
I told him how she faked everything last time we did that. He smiled and said that he can cut through the BS.
Speaking of the anxiety, I maybe able to suggest my W to see him for that. She already asked who is my IC. I never told her his name. She also wondered what his expertise is, I said it's people like I. So there is a seed of interest.
Maybe I leave his business card on the counter after tomorrow and tell her that maybe she wants to see that guy for her anxiety.
I don't think it's pushy since she asked me about the IC.
Maybe I leave his business card on the counter after tomorrow and tell her that maybe she wants to see that guy for her anxiety.
I don't think it's pushy since she asked me about the IC.
I wouldn't leave it.
After your session tomorrow come home in the best of moods. She will start to think more about going to IC for herself.
Before my mess I thought I would be the last person in the world to goto IC. I swallowed my pride and took the necessary step to improve myself.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I told him how she faked everything last time we did that. He smiled and said that he can cut through the BS.
I'm concerned my wife will go back to the status quo (pre-Bomb day). I won't be happy with that, and I hope that any MC I go to will be able to see through her. She thinks she's a good actor...
That's a challenge - to find a good counselor. The one we picket years ago sucked. He gave us a questionare to fill before the initial visit. W faked all the answers and then backed it up with complete denial at the session. MC gave up after the first and only visit.
Two weeks later W asked me to stay and life went on.
