I agree that there are signs of OM, but at this point it's virtually impossible for me to do any snooping. And even if she has one now, there is not much I can say, since we are separated and she has told me that I can "date other people". I know...I know...that's a big sign of OM right there.
Hey BeTheMan, I'm new to your post and want to wish you the best of luck. I'm in a similar sisuation with my W. I was in total denial of her affair it was more EA than PA. I never thought W would have an affair based on her past, but I was wrong!!!
Now we are seperated as well and W says she has had no contact with OM since I confronted her back in Feb.
She has admitted she still has feelings for him. When will she snap out of that phase? and maybe say hey the M wasn't that bad.. Maybe she will or maybe she wont. (Well I still have hope)
It's tough to know if anything is going on now, but I have to take this time for me and also be the best dad I can.
The advice on here is great from everyone. Somedays are a lot harder than others, but have to try and keep going foward.
My daughter's 19th birthday is on Monday. I usually work every Satruday, but actually have a 3 day weekend coming up due to a holiday here in Ontario.
Anyway...last night D told me that her brithday dinner is at the restaraunt my WAW manages on Sunday. There will be quite a few people there and my D clearly stated she wants me there. So..I will go and with a smile on my face and be courteous, friendly to my WAW's family, staff and her. It will be the first time in 2 weeks that WAW and I have seen each other.
Now..the question is...what about Monday? D told me that WAW took Monday off and wants to do something on the her actual birthday. Since it would most likely be just a "family" thing, what's the best course of action? Same thing? Smile, and be an awesome Dad?
Smile and be an awesome dad, don't worry about what your wife will do or how she will act, that part is up to her.
I thought you might say this would be a good time to show WAW what it's really like to be a divorced famlily.
I read somewhere on here that a great way to smile, is to think of a time when you and your WAS did something naughty. I have this one encounter that makes me smile every time I think of it. So...that will be my smile point every time I look at my WAW or just need it. Of course, I will have to be careful not to look at her with desire. Since my WAW always thinks I only want her for her looks and sexualtiy that would be a big NO NO!
it's your kids birthday, attend the party, you don't have to stay till the very end, consume some food & drink, conversate, have fun, be merry (don't be Mary!) and then leave.
I don't think you have to worry about you wanting her only for her looks & sexuality, seriously that's all she's given you a chance to want her for lately, what else has there been? This is a non-issue right now, don't sweat it.
I'm with Rob. Go to both events, be positive and happy. Maybe on Monday, do the "Really Important Guest on Johnny Carson Who Always Had to Leave Early" thing.
(to your daughter): "Sorry to have to leave a little early, honey, but I've somewhere else to go. I hope you had a nice two days -- sure love you" (or whatever) -- and ((POOF!)) -- disappear, with new clothes and new cologne on.
Yes! Show you with a new outfit/ haircut new cologne. Be vague, smile and laugh. Nothing can touch you! Relaxed and cool. Trust me, they notice whether they say it or not.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
Yesterday I emailed WAW about D's birthday and a few financial issues. She called me later in day and commented on me sending an email rather than calling. I said nothing in response. At one point she referred to my house as "your house" when she usually says "the house". Again, I made no comment.
I have decided to email (and keep copies) whenever I feel the topic is important from a legal/financial aspect.
The house comment was a nice little example of her "dbing" me and showing that she has moved on and no longer considers the house hers. Sure, it bugged me, but I didn't let it show.
Sunday night, D wants to have a bunch of friends over to celebrate her 19th birthday. I texted WAW yesterday to ask if she could help me watch over them. I don't want to be solely responsible for a bunch of drinking kids. She agreed to help, but that means she will be at my house for the first time in a couple weeks. I will be friendly and conversational, but make sure I don't do even one thing that seems like I am persuing, needy or clingy.
