You're right, all you can do is wait and see. Keep moving forward while you're doing it. You'll need your strength and knowledge if/when your H returns.
don't mean to quibble, but please don't "wait and see"..[b][b].instead, GAL, DETACH and take charge of your happiness without him[/b.[/b]..I mean he's been out, for going on 2 years now, and a lot of "My Life is on hold" can happen in that time. Life is so short. Don't waste your precious, LIMITED time, b/c the thing is, we don't get to know in advance how much of it we have. I've lost 3 family members in the past 2 years, so again, life is short.
Can I assume you are GAL, Detaching (which is what you actually meant by saying "Wait and see"?) I hope so. Okay. Good luck! j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Not hard to detach since there is NC since the 3rd of June when I called and asked if he could watch our D13 because she was really sick and I had my second job and he said that he couldn't cause he had a viewing to go to.
D13 said he still acts said and gets upset with songs on the radio and wants me to contact him but I tell her that the only one that can help him is himself.
She has been really concerned about his family pushing for us to get a D. She hears them talking to him, and the state he is in she is afraid that he is going to do whatever they tell him to do to make them happy.
Just an update. Last weekend H asked D13 again if she liked my boyfriend and once again she said, Mom doesn't have a boyfriend. And if you are talking about the guy that opened the pool for us that is Uncle J's best friend and he is married and has 4 kids. He is just trying to help us Daddy.
A friend ran into H and sad that H doesn't look good or sound good. Sounds very sad, but was trying to put a front on. So I guess this friend said something (I can't remember) and H's response was I haven't heard anything in a month and 1/2. That would be from me. I haven't texted him or called about anything.
So what happens a few days later? The lawnmower breaks and I have no clue how or what to do since H took care of all of that stuff also. So our D13 was with him and when she called me I asked her to ask him where do I go to get it fixed.
She said he was nice about it and said Sears. That was on a Saturday. On that Monday I didn't know if I had to take the whole thing or just the part, so figured I would text him since he made the remark to the friend and ask if I just take the part that broke to Sears or the whole thing.
He never responded. So I gave it till the following day and texted him and said never mind. I give up. You don't have to worry about it again. Take care.
Do I feel like a fool. So 2 days later, our D13 comes home from a friend's house that she stayed at for 2 days after she left her father's and said that H had told her to tell me that I need to take the whole thing to Sears.
So I texted him again and told him I was sorry for bothering him about the lawn mower. And that D13 just told me about you telling her that I needed to take the whole thing. I explained that she slept over her girlfriend's house after he dropped her off there and thats why I didn't know what to do. So I asked someone at work. What a kid we have.
I've been detaching and doing the NC thing but the friend said it seemed to her that he was upset cause I wasn't texting or anything and that he really needs help and he needs to talk to someone. And that he is just out and out sad and doesn't like his life at all.
I guess the friend was wrong, cause he doesn't respond to anything.
But now I have a problem, that I have to text and could use some advice on how to word it. It seems that when I don't contact him for a while he doesn't pay the only bill that he is helping with as far as all the bills in both of our names go.
I didn't contact him in April into May so he doesn't pay his part which is less than half, then when I did contact him in June about our D13 being sick. The post is up above. He paid it on time. Now this month here we go again, didn't pay it and it is late.
Thanks for any input or advice on how to text him about the loan.
Goodfight, Do you have a lawyer? Even a written agreement of some kind? Something that would take the heat off of you each and every month about whether or not he has taken care of his responsibility? He may actually be using this bill as a way to maintain contact and "control".
I have no idea what this bill is or what it is about, but could it be seperated? You are not his mother and you shouldn't have to remind him of his responsibilities. I think he's using it as an excuse. Find a way to block his play.
Yes, I have a lawyer but not a written agreement. In our state they don't like legal separation and would rather just do the divorce. Plus it would cost me $750 just in court fees plus my attorney's fee.
I'm standing for my M, so I don't want to push the D at all.
It can't be separated. It's a joint loan when we consolidated a bunch of bills a year before he left.
H paid on it on the 29th. So I didn't have to contact him. I was waiting for 3:00 on that day to see if he did pay or not. The next day there would have been a late charge, and I would have had to contact him.
Can't believe it is over 21 months and I'm still sad. I think it is the part of being lonely all of the time. Never did I think it would go on this long.
First in November then in March we were together for a brief couple of hours and in March talking about dating (never happened, H said a couple of days later that it wouldn't be a good idea) and now not a word since the end of May. Only through our daughter, had a problem with the lawn mower and he told her to tell me where to take it etc.
Doing the NC thing I thought would help more than what it has, H just makes sure I know what he is up to by telling D13. Knowing that she will come back and tell me, which I don't understand why he does that at all. Asks D13 if she likes my boyfriend every couple of weeks (which I don't have).
When this first started (the separation)I would call H and either cry or complain and since April I haven't done any of that and nothing is changing for the good at all as far as our M.
