Your future will be what you make of it. Think about the opportunities you have for a new wonderful life. It will be hard at first, but it will be okay.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Well, spoke to STBXW this evening, and I am convinced we have entirely different concepts of the commitment it takes to make any long-term R work.
We discussed the "date" on Saturday, and she said she just wasn't "feeling" what she needed to feel, so I basically agreed that if all it takes is a buger and a movie date for her to make up her mind, then that doesn't work for me either.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
TH, I haven't had time to go through you sitch again in detail, but I wanted to let you know you are often in my thoughts and I'm sorry for your pain. You are an insighful, wonderful person and your posts to others are full of wisdom. I always read what you have to say on the forums and your advice helps me a lot.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
TH, I haven't had time to go through you sitch again in detail, but I wanted to let you know you are often in my thoughts and I'm sorry for your pain.
Meh, not "pain" so much as weary of investing any more time with somebody who is so tied up in their preconceived notions about what others think and feel and what they think and feel that they have no apparent interest in find out what you think or how you feel. I feel disconnected entirely from STBXW.
Quote:
I always read what you have to say on the forums and your advice helps me a lot.
Why, thank you.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Yep, see what you mean about disconnection. I guess I meant your earlier pain Your sitch may not be as 'dramatic' as others right now, but there IS stuff happening here... I think you are doing great.
Well, I engaged in a round of emails and a phone call, and delaying the divorce is off.
I don't think I'm cut out for the drama. Tired of it. Que sara, sara.
I can't get through a conversation without being told how I feel. If I say anything about it, she denies it.
One of the last things she said to me on the phone was "I just don't think we really like each other".
I guess I could have asked "is that the royal WE?". I could have used the handy, "I'm sorry you feel that way", but instead I fell for it like Charlie Brown trying to kick that football that Lucy is holding for him.
What did I say? "I don't like some things you have done, but there's a difference between not liking something somebody has done and disliking them as a person".
Somebody... need a 2x4. What is it about her that I let myself be stupid sometimes?
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/28/1012:39 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Hey Time, for what it's worth, I think you did a great job at thwarting her attempts at mindreading. Plus avoided the 'you feel this way - no I don't' circular, endless argument. Sorry to hear you're having a rough day. PG.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Hey Time, for what it's worth, I think you did a great job at thwarting her attempts at mindreading. Plus avoided the 'you feel this way - no I don't' circular, endless argument. Sorry to hear you're having a rough day. PG.
Hey, I could just move on and not look back. If it's rough, I let it be rough at this point.
But thanks. Maybe someday I can meet somebody who actually likes me who values commitment, and I can put everything I have learned to good use. Otherwise, I sure am not as judgemental as I used to be.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
But thanks. Maybe someday I can meet somebody who actually likes me who values commitment
I have a feeling that day will come sooner than you think. You're an intelligent, articulate man with a lot of depth and capacity for expressing your thoughts and feelings.
Last edited by FindingMyVoice; 07/28/1003:05 AM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Maybe someday I can meet somebody who actually likes me who values commitment, and I can put everything I have learned to good use.
Is it just me, I think there is something missing here. I thought the ultimate reason we are DBing is to learn about having better R and communication in order to be successful in our future R--- whether it is our spouse or not.
Well, I think you're presented with the best chance to learn here with 'all this drama'? To test and learn what and how she responds to what you do or say. What contributed to the down fall. Aren't some of the answers contained in that drama? Without finding out if you just go onto the next, you might have a new set of dramas down the line... isn't that why we are here?
