Kalni - Honey, I think the issue right now is not that he cheated on you. You knew all that and still chose to reconcile with him, I think you had plenty of time to process that wound.
I think the issue is you suspect him of not being totally straight about his dealings now - of flirting with that woman from work, and who knows what else? You're afraid he's not behaving the way you would expect him to if he was truly remorseful.
"Last night I had a dream my dad died. I went through the whole thing, my mom collapsing, my kids being sad, arranging for the burial, all the intense feelings that follow a death of a loved one. My dream stopped when we were at the cemetary. We say when we see death it means life for the person we see dying. I hope so...."
Death in a dream.. has very little meaning. Typically it is the "actions" around the "death" that have meaning. Dreams.. relate to a frame of mind. For a long time now you have been centered on the "Work". So.. why would you dream about work?
I know I have not been posting much.. it has just been a crazy time in my life right now. But.. that does not excuse me.
Who are you Mrs. Maria? What makes you important?
Even your dreams make you stand out with what you inferred.
What are your plans? What are your wants? What are your needs?
Why do you need to prove yourself?
"at age 107 he will be free to cheat on me!! LOL"
No.. at that age he should be smart enough to know that is not what you do.
Encourage him "smartly" to want to be there then.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Hey sweets... I saw on your old post you said it was good news about your Dad? At least better than you feared right? Brilliant, I am so glad. You're Dad sure is a cat with 9 lives huh!
Well not much changes for me either... do you remember what life was like before the bomb (and that May-September period pre-bomb?) that life had its ups and downs, sure, but it really wasnt so devastating/dramatic/desperately not knowing which way this ship was sailing. I feel that life has gone back now to before that 2 year period, its just this and that and stuff, but less Drama.
Is that how you feel? That ok, you are reconciled, you tick along but.. thats it? But then maybe no drama is a good thing. As others say, if you live in the now, its still pretty extrodinary after all your fears of what could happen, that you are back as a family and your Dad is battling on. Funny star log btw!
Love and hugs xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I dont want drama. I want EMOTIONS. I want to be content, I want to be able to enjoy the ride, I dont want to be alone or lonely. I dont need anyone, that's clear now, but I CHOOSE for myself to be with that someone that will be on my side against...whatever.
Apart from other things,we are coming to a gridlock as Schnarch says. His free time is ridiculous. I havent "seen" him since Sunday noon and it is Thursday. I am living as single again and although that is nothing new, I have decided it is not for me. He sees it too. I expect him to either avoid it once more or deal with it. It would mean we -together as a couple- make plans, arrangements, financial planning, evaluate options, compromise. I am not pushing things, waiting for vacation time to come. BUT, I faced my dillemma and I have made my decisions. I am ready. I hope he is too.
As it is my favourite thing to do, I wrote him a letter explaining what I feel is missing still and what holds me back. I talked about 2 things and tried to explain those. His reply was per SMS: "Maria I love you and you have nothing to worry about". OK, now, lets deal with those things...? Imagine, we dont have time to talk, let alone analyse situations etc.
For the record, I think she contacted him. I think he will tell me when we see each other this weekend. Lets see if my little voice is right again. K
It sounds like you are trying to be solution oriented. You have figured out the problem, time together, and you want to sit down to figure out how to fix it. I think that is great. It is good you communicated to him what you want and need. I hope he responds by helping to come up with a solution and I really hope that your gut is wrong about her contacting him...that would just not be good.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Actually awest, I think it would be good if she did. I would love to think of her begging and asking and hearing we are still together a year later and as my H says, that he loves me and knows where he wants to be...
It would be bad if he doesnt tell me and of course if there is a follow up of some kind. I dont believe that a R ends, a R so strong and passionate like theirs, just like "that". "That" alone, freaks me out and I think it is part of the "protect Maria" attitude he has overall that I HATE. K
That is true...if H does tell her she is done and he wants nothing to do with her...that would be good.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
and asking and hearing we are still together a year later and as my H says, that he loves me and knows where he wants to be...