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Originally Posted By: DaddyLongShanks
I heard they had a testosterone shot which would render your sperm useless while you where on it. Side benefit is going to be obviously masculinization, and ability to recover better from a workout and increased feelings of well being.

Find out for yourself if there is a male birth control method which does not involve condoms or something obvious.

Oh if you do this, don't tell her.


DLS,

You said at least 4-5 times now. I appreciate the suggestion but I am not doing it.


M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
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Oh, have a good weekend. Your situation is improving for the better and I'm sure others will become inspired through your persistence.

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Originally Posted By: robx
She wants sex, we can assume her motives are either to have sex just to have a baby or to have sex because she wants to have sex with OIN or both but we can't mind read so we don't know what her motives are.

Considering that she huffs off and ends things every time he's willing to have sex but wants to wear a condom, I'm pretty sure we can accurately assess her motives.

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OIN,

She could have pain around ovulation, that is not unusual. I don't know if a woman could really feel the difference between a fertilized and an unfertilized egg. I think that only 1-2 days after conception would be too early to feel a pain relating to conception. However, if a fertilized egg becomes attached in the fallopian tube (usually several weeks into a pregnancy), then that can cause severe pain and can lead to serious consequences, such as a ruptured tube. The first unmistakeable symptoms that I experienced with pregnancy were tender breasts and a need for an afternoon nap.

Personally, I find the idea of planning pregnancy somewhat humorous. But then I went through several years of infertility before I became pregnant. In my world view children come when they come, and "the best laid plans of mice and men go oft astray". That said, I think that you should add her to your insurance immediately to be sure that if she did become pregnant earlier than anticipated that she will be covered by the health insurance. As I said above, there are things that can go wrong in pregnancy, and she needs coverage from the date of conception. You will have 9 months to work on the marriage even if she were to conceive now, and you can continue working on the marriage after a child is born too. There is no reason that you can't work on the marriage and be pregnant simultaneously. I think you will be surprised how much progress you can make in the seven weeks of the Retrouvaille program. She is cooperating with you and giving you what you want.

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Originally Posted By: Lotus
OIN,

She could have pain around ovulation, that is not unusual. I don't know if a woman could really feel the difference between a fertilized and an unfertilized egg. I think that only 1-2 days after conception would be too early to feel a pain relating to conception. However, if a fertilized egg becomes attached in the fallopian tube (usually several weeks into a pregnancy), then that can cause severe pain and can lead to serious consequences, such as a ruptured tube. The first unmistakeable symptoms that I experienced with pregnancy were tender breasts and a need for an afternoon nap.

Personally, I find the idea of planning pregnancy somewhat humorous. But then I went through several years of infertility before I became pregnant. In my world view children come when they come, and "the best laid plans of mice and men go oft astray". That said, I think that you should add her to your insurance immediately to be sure that if she did become pregnant earlier than anticipated that she will be covered by the health insurance. As I said above, there are things that can go wrong in pregnancy, and she needs coverage from the date of conception. You will have 9 months to work on the marriage even if she were to conceive now, and you can continue working on the marriage after a child is born too. There is no reason that you can't work on the marriage and be pregnant simultaneously. I think you will be surprised how much progress you can make in the seven weeks of the Retrouvaille program. She is cooperating with you and giving you what you want.


Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate your perspective on our sitch. I have thought about this too, even if W were to be pregnant we would still be able to work on our marriage as we prepare for the birth of our child. I also see how a pregnancy at this time could potentially tear us apart as well.

As for the remainder of yesterday (Friday):

W pretty much slept all day. W said he stomach hurt too bad to do the things we had planned (a burning sensation as she described it).

I took the opportunity to finally start cleaning the basement.

Not much interaction up till W woke up around 10PM. At that time I was laying in bed beside her figuring out my work calendar to see what days I need to request off for our trip. Once W woke up she told suggested a few events I add to the calendar.

W had checked her phone and see she had a missed call from a female co-worker who W had not talked to over the phone or via txt since OM was in the picture (or in my W's head that is).

During the 15 min W was up so she could get ready for bed she had a slight attitude, being a little 'short' with me...not sure what that was all about but could have something to do with the following

I told W about how I cleaned out some of the basement and finally got around to going through our clothes. I told her how I am doing loads of laundry and after we can go through our clothes and determine what we want and don't want. W made the comment "Throw them all out, nothing fits me anymore I'm too big" I said (rather than validating I guess) "You have a lot of nice clothes give them a try before we toss them" W then says "Well that's the reality of it" and after this exchange she had what I would consider a terrible attitude.

W asked if I could do a huge favor for her and iron her work pants, I told her that it would not be a problem. Before I walked out the room W asked if I could cover her up and so I did, then gave W a kiss and told her goodnight (yes I know it sounds juvenile almost 'father daughter-ish' but not the way it was intended).

W then went to sleep.


M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
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Hey OIN, I see what you are doing. It's looking like you are staying on a path of mutual respect, no manipulations ( ie you can sex me but I want a baby ), and positive and open communications. I can't say I don't admire this.

In the real world you will let them get away with a few, as well as they will do you.

Its a tough balance that each of us have to decide what we are comfortable with.

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I will have a detailed update later tonight or maybe sometime tomorrow.

W had asked me to take of work last night to spent the night with her. She ended up feeling ill and slept all night...

This morning W called off work. W 'cuddled' up with me throughout the night. Morning went pretty well.

W and I ML during the afternoon. W nearly pleaded with me to 'go all the way' sort of speak. I will quote my W "Give me ALL of you. Things will be better I promise." I told W "Not now, let's make them better first" I probably should not have said anything and sort of odd to carry on such a conversation while ML but I did not to give W a false expectation. After W seemed to be withdrawn again not really talking or interacting with me. W asked if I wanted to go in the hot tub and so we did.

Later on W and I laid in bed watching a movie holding hands...just being close to one another.

I had to go to work, W said "now who is going to make me breakfast?" in a mopey tone. I kissed W on head and left for work.


M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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I have to ask.

Do you do all the cooking for her or something? There are times she sounds like a little kid and that if you don't prepare something for her to eat, she'll starve to death.

Does she ever cook for you?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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OIN, I hate to sound so down when you are dealing with so much right now. You need to check the bathroom garbage for femine products. I'm afraid your wife is late and is afraid she is pregnant already.

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DISCLAIMER- Ok, don't take this the wrong way and I am probably completely wrong. No disrespect intended.

But is it possible that the wife is pregnant by OM, and now hurriedly trying to get OIN to "appear" to be the father due to timing?

I know it is a terrible thought, but stranger things have happened.

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