M55 H55 my D31 H D30 1st met her when she was 25 M 22yrs...2nd for me, 1st for H OW 2005 mother of H daughter, came back to introduce D 1bomb 6/05 2bomb 7/08 3bomb 2/10 moved up north
I can't see any of this helping to DB in any way, but at least I know I stood up for myself and she get a tiny dose of reality.
Dude, she dumped HER responsibility off on YOU. She got the danged dog, and then dumped it just like she dumped you, and I guess she figured you are such a chump, she'd treat you worse than a servant.
If you can't see why her taking responsibility for HER actions is good, then we cannot help you.
This is what grown ups do. They don't shirk their responsibilities and dump them off on others who they treat with no respect. That is what badly raised teenagers do.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/22/1002:33 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
No woman will really respect a man who lets HER dog crap all over his house. She knows that you will do anything for her. The untrained dog thing is just not an option. Take it from this woman. Let her know it isn't on.
It is all to do with your self respect. There is a metaphor in the dog messing all over your house. I really hope I don't sound cruel but I am a woman and know how we think some guys will put up with anything.!!!
WAW just called me to say she is picking up the dog today...and that now she will not be coming over Sunday as usual to grocery shop and make dinner for family. She said she will give D18 (who now works with her) some money for groceries though. I said "I didn't say you couldn't come over Sunday, but that's your choice. Ok."
Not the end of the world, I can drive to the store and I cam cook something. At least she's still keeping up her end of our financial agreement.
WAW is 100% pissed off! This should be expected right? And some one is going to explain to me how it's a good thing?
[ Truth Puppy - At this point I am happy with HER crumbs. Seriously. And JUST ANYTHING feels good.
I still believe that with my WAW, I need to somehow balance being a friend etc with letting her go. Whenever I attempt to do otherwise, she sees it as me only wanting to be involved with her if it's on my terms - if there is sex involved etc. I somehow need to make her feel that I love, like and want her - all of her. But...magically at the same time let her feel like I have let her go as my wife. Only then will I have any hope of her wanting to be my wife.
I've mentioned before that I don't think every wife that wants to leave a marriage is a WAW and should be treated as such. I read as much of this thread as I could but not all, so please forgive me if I got something wrong here. If it's correct that she walked away from her children as well as you, (not once, but twice?) there could be something more wrong with her than with your R and until she gets that straightened out, it may be impossible to repair the relationship. Leaving the children suggests a detachment much more severe than just loosing a connection with her husband for the usual reasons that a WAW loses her connection with her H.
I said "I didn't say you couldn't come over Sunday, but that's your choice. Ok."
No, no, no. Where is your GAL?
Make plans for Sunday and every Sunday from now on. You're going to be busy.
Quote:
WAW is 100% pissed off! This should be expected right? And some one is going to explain to me how it's a good thing?
Who cares? Let's say your kids get their own appartment. They adopt a dog, and then decide they don't want to take care of it, so they just want to dump it on you.
How is allowing that good? It isn't.
Who cares if they get mad if you say no? It wasn't your responsibility. They will get over being mad at you for not bailing them out of their responsibilities. They won't get over thinking you are an idiot if you allow yourself to be treated badly.
How can your wife ever respect you if you live in fear of her? She's the one with the balls in this family.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/22/1002:51 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I have real issues with the GAL aspect and always have. I'm just not into much. And now if she's not coming over on Sundays, it really doesn't matter. I can be at home - just the way I like.
The reason I said "I didn't say you couldn't come over" was to make it clear that it was her choice/reaction to my request to take the dog.
I'm sure she sees this as punishing me - since you won't look after my dog, you don't get to see me. I won't be your friend if you don't do what I want.
Rob - you said so much time has passed. I think too much has passed to ever save my marriage for real. I simply made too many mistakes. I would "man up" once in a while, but always slide back into being the nice guy as soon as she showed any affection for me. Or being even more honest - as soon as there was any sex or hint of it.
And now if she's not coming over on Sundays, it really doesn't matter. I can be at home - just the way I like.
Way to 180! (sarcasm intended).
Look, it's time to move out of your comfort zone a bit. Go to church, take the kids on a day trip, go shopping, landscape the yard, take the dogs for a trip to the dog park, do something you don't do all of the time.
I can see you are going to resist this. This is your opportunity to grow. You can let opportunity go by, but then don't complain about the bed you made.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
[/quote] Quote: I said "I didn't say you couldn't come over Sunday, but that's your choice. Ok."
No, no, no. Where is your GAL?
Make plans for Sunday and every Sunday from now on. You're going to be busy.[quote]
You ARE going to have the best Sundays ever!!
You ARE going to make it so she is going to MISS those Sundays with you and her family!
When she talks to the kids, they will tell her you are doing fine.
M55 H55 my D31 H D30 1st met her when she was 25 M 22yrs...2nd for me, 1st for H OW 2005 mother of H daughter, came back to introduce D 1bomb 6/05 2bomb 7/08 3bomb 2/10 moved up north
