I agree, you are not making the progress you think you are, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings by saying this, but she is nowhere near being done with this. She is talking and flirting with other men and pulling away from you. Better start backing WAY OFF.
Ok, I said I would answer you here. Until she breaks withdrawal, you are in rebuilding phase but you are NOT remarried. So I am somewhat confused exactly where she is but I KNOW that she has not broken withdrawal yet. You are exactly when my wife is if she is still in withdrawal. She is still blaming YOU for everything and not accepting her own part in this. After she breaks withdrawal, then she will go on to accept her final fears. Sorry you are not there yet!
I agree that she is appears to have backtracked over the last few months. She has actually mentioned that her crisis was an understandable journey she need to make...in other words therapist gibberish.
So much confusion......time to get back on course of sorts...lol
static- adj also statical 1. not active or moving; stationary 2. (Physics / General Physics) (of a weight, force, or pressure) acting but causing no movement
That is the current state of my life.....seems like a lot of action is going on, but very little movement. We just got back from a visit to our in-laws (been four years since we have seen them) and it went very well. Oddly (as my life usually is) it seems my wife likes parading me around in front of her friends, but behind doors she falls back.
I do agree that she has still not addressed her demons. Though she does acknowledge that I am her best friend, she still will say she doesn't know what she wants....then talks about our future. It takes time to deal with this MLC downside stuff.....but I listen and hear what she is saying.
You have given some of the best advice on this board so I know that you know your stuff. As MHL has said he can see my sich better than I can and vice versa. Because he is detached from me and I am detached from him, just know that you can not control this.
She is still in depression/withdrawal stages, IMHO. What will make her come forward I can not say. You must be the rock, the stanchion, you will continue to lead her forward. That is your mission now as the LBS. Continue to be the beacon that brings her toward the light. She is on a very slowwwwww journey. All you can do is have patience.
Oh and one more thing what you think is static and not moving is her processing. It is good. She must process to move forward. Someone is always working behind the scenes. Let Him do his job and you do yours.
