"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Interesting couple of days...I have been actually very busy with the kids (spring break), the business (more proposals and one decent sized job), and the wife.
Overall things were going very steady and strong...two weekends ago were a blast and this weekend was a bag of mixed nuts.
My wife returned from work immediately upon leaving Thursday morning....she was let go from her job. The place wasn't making numbers and since she had become middle management....she got chopped. So a little bit of financial stress is coming our way. I just need to keep plugging along.
Friday-Excellent day of hiking with family and friends finished off by going on a double date with the friends to the movies and out for dinner prior to me going to work...very good day and lots of fun all around.
Saturday-Busy morning...baseball, soccer, shopping, etc...etc. Then I am unsure if I backslide or she did. Around 3:00 I crashed to watch a movie and she came in with her laptop. Now opinions vary....but there was at least a 1 1/2 hour chat and flirt session with a guy she doesn't know outside of work...ending for me when I noticed her sending him a picture of her tattoo that is on her front hip. Not a nasty picture....but if a woman sent it to me, I would take it as heavy suggestive flirting. So I asked her who she was chatting with...her reply "Nobody...I wasn't chatting". I said that I saw her chatting for over and hour and she replied "very little chatting". She finally admitted that she was chatting and flirting with with a business associate (hard to explain)...."To help with her low self-esteem from being fired". That I wasn't giving her space...should be minding my own business....and that when I questioned her 3 years ago about odd chatting that caused her to have the affair. She believes that if I hadn't confronted her three years ago, that the affair wouldn't have happened.
So I go to work and ask myself if I am being a hypocrite. In the throes of all this...a women sent me a topless picture. Oddly, I told my wife immediately about the picture. Don't know why, I just did. She brought that up. Also...I flirt with women at work. It is almost part of the job, be nice to the patrons. I have been propositioned multiple times, but naturally I have not taken one offer. So am I just as guilty as her?
So on Sunday we discussed it some more. Not a lot, but a little more. I asked her why she never was jealous of the woman at the bar. Her reply; "I have been....but you never gave me reason to distrust you"....basically the end of the conversation.
Things have been quiet since then...Today we worked around the house, laid in the sun together for an hour. Really a pretty good day....she even bragged about me on facebook.
So did I overreact? This guy is a long way from here, so I am not worried. That still doesn't explain my quick rush to judgment. She posted how jealousy is actually just a person showing their own lack of self-worth. I am still pondering that!
Hi Lost! I got brave enough to go back and re-read some of my old posts and saw yours to me and realized I hadn't seen you posting for awhile.
I hope you and your W worked things out since this last post! I personally have never thought a little flirting hurt anything but when a S has had an A, I don't know.
Otherwise, things sound like they are going ok for you
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I got some messages on the Alt and of of course CW here....and just wanted to give an update. I do want to be here sharing my experiences with you all, but at the moment life is kicking my butt pretty good. Things are going very well with my wife and continue to be getting better......The problem being lately is the affect of outside influences on our living situation.
My wife lost here job back in early April and was not given a cause for release. So that kicked her unemployment benefits straight into a contested situation which basically means we will be waiting 8-12 weeks for her unemployment to kick in. From there she had a mammogram and biopsy (it came out fine) done in early April and ended up with $1800 in hospital bills even though she had insurance at the time.
This week I had to rebuild a well house and water system (we share a well with two other houses) because the system failed. I also did some work for a rather large company and found out after completing the work that the company is on a 60 day pay schedule....so cash flow I was expecting this month probably won't arrive until the end of June.
I continue to bounce, have booked a weekly DJ'ing gig at a local bar, and continue to propose on whatever DJ or Land Surveying work I can find....but times are tough. So with that I have been completely focused on finding ways to pay the bills. Which, sadly, leaves me little time to be here.
I really do appreciate everyone here and wish I could be here more....just right now it doesn't work. I do stop in when I can, but usually only for a few minutes.
I hope everyone has a good weekend and send a big belated HUG to all the mother's in the group.
Update of sorts.....been working like crazy. Basically I have four poorly paying part time jobs, so I have cranked up the total numbers of hours worked.
The kids have basically been great....really great. Playing together and alone 90% of the time with minimal fighting.
We ended up on vacation which was great until the last day. It seems that my wife felt that I was getting to close to her. Basically once I got close to her in the pool and she walked away in disgust and another time I tried to give her a kiss goodnight and she turned her head from me. It all came to a head that last day when she said she wanted to be "here", but that she hated me. She cited I had changed too much, was doing the wrong stuff, and that I was doing everything and making her lazy......so I listened and validated to which she was appreciative. Actually noting that she hated me less because I listened instead of becoming defensive.
Now I am questioning myself though. How much longer to I keep living with a friendship? My therapist noted that there seems to be little or no compromise with her.
So that is it in a nutshell..working and living everyday.
Sorry man. I with Grit...YOU my friend helped me more than you know. So...I will try my best to pay it back buddy...
Quote:
How much longer to I keep living with a friendship?
How much longer do you want to? I believe you know that YOU determine this. How much is this worth to YOU?
You have come so far. You have already MOVED mountains. You have.
MLC is a beast - it is.
Finally....."BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD"...do you remember who said that to me.
Lost - this is NOT a time to quit. It is a time to sit still. It is a time for LOST to decide what LOST really wants.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I answered you privately but you can respond here if you choose. I really think you need to re-evaluate where you are in this proccess. Maybe not where you really think you are. That leads to expectations. And you know what expectations can do in MLC.
I think you just need more patience. Hang in there.
