In the future when a man tries to talk to you in private about his marriage problems you SEND him to a GOOD FAMILY THERAPIST, you dont' ENCOURAGE him to discuss his marital problems with YOU in SECRET... You have no training, no license, and no DAMN business talking to him in this context AT ALL
You will need to confront him for sure... ESPECIALLY about contacting high school friends from facebook.. that is a HUGE EA NO NO...
Facebook is THE NUMBER ONE SOFTWARE PRODUCT in use today to engage in infidelity.. particularly by looking up "old flames" etc
He needs to be warned about the dangers he's getting into here and he needs to respect the boundaries you setup
I would script it out ahead of time...
If you bring up FT again and he says "It wont' work" just say
There is no "IT" in famly therapy. There is just a YOU. Either you are willing to DO the WORK to REPAIR the marriage or you are going to hang out on facebook with old girlfriends and start an affair.. A or B... If its going to be B then you need to pack your things. I will NOT go through this again NOR will I allow you to start an affair in the home of OUR CHILDREN.
You have five minutes to decide... CLock's ticking
I would try to get somethign in there about his playing fast and loose with the marriage being a danger to the stability of the home to all three of your kids as well.
Just tell him if he's going to make excuses to avoid donig the work on the marriage and put his children at risk instead then he can leave now. Start packing his things for him.. Don't even wait.. Go grab some boxes and start packing.
I would print them up and leave them in your work area... He will just laugh at you if you show them to him.
There are dozens on the www like that critcizing facebook.
You don't even need to leave this forum :
ElvenCat QuickSilver EeyoreNoMore
Read any of their threads and you will see how high risk that software is...
If your H's solution is to prowl facebook in SECRET while you clean his home and raise his children I would tell him that's not your idea of a healthy marriage and he has to recongnize your discomfort with him using facebook OR get OUT.
I didn't know he was using facebook to look up old friends... THAT is more than enough of a warning in my opiinion.
I would print them up and leave them in your work area... He will just laugh at you if you show them to him.
There are dozens on the www like that critcizing facebook.
You don't even need to leave this forum :
ElvenCat QuickSilver EeyoreNoMore
Read any of their threads and you will see how high risk that software is...
If your H's solution is to prowl facebook in SECRET while you clean his home and raise his children I would tell him that's not your idea of a healthy marriage and he has to recongnize your discomfort with him using facebook OR get OUT.
I didn't know he was using facebook to look up old friends... THAT is more than enough of a warning in my opiinion.
Yeah - I didn't think much about it because I had his password before and didn't find anything to speak of. BUT... we had a disagreement about it and he changed his password.
