Is anyone irritated by their WAS? Like you don't want to see them or talk to them? It is like the same way they used to act with you except now you are the one who is at this point? Do you feel like you just want to be anywhere except where they are?
It is hard for me not to give off this vibe. Is anyone else experiencing this?
I never thought I would be the one running in the opposite direction. I never thought that I would be the one wanting space. Wow.
Is anyone irritated by their WAS? Like you don't want to see them or talk to them? It is like the same way they used to act with you except now you are the one who is at this point? Do you feel like you just want to be anywhere except where they are?
THAT is the transition point where letting go transforms into a reversal of roles. The LBS becomes the WAS, and vice-versa.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I kind of feel that way a lot of times. She continues to act towards me like she did previously, except without any affection. She still wants to tell me about her problems at work, menopausal/stress issues, whatever. I am about at the point where I want to tell her to stop. She is not my friend. These things don't affect me any longer. I guess I just need to walk away when she starts.
It is very hard because we are still living together, so I have to see her every day in the morning and at night.
I'm not really running in the opposite direction, but I am annoyed that she thinks I still care.
Is anyone irritated by their WAS? Like you don't want to see them or talk to them? It is like the same way they used to act with you except now you are the one who is at this point? Do you feel like you just want to be anywhere except where they are?
It is hard for me not to give off this vibe. Is anyone else experiencing this?
I never thought I would be the one running in the opposite direction. I never thought that I would be the one wanting space. Wow.
That's exactly where I am right now. And you know what? It's soooooo liberating. I've been here for about a month or a bit more. There were a number of things she did that pushed me over that edge between wanting to let go to really letting go. I basically ignore her when we are in physical contact.
It's been a year and a half since she said she wanted a D, and about a year before that when the bomb dropped. We lived in the same house until January of this year and it made it virtually impossible to let go.
The physical separation is what really helped a lot. Plus her vindictive actions.
I don't care what she does. It's her life and I'm not interested in knowing anything about it. The only tie we have is concerning our children. Other than that she's pretty much invisible.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
i'm kinda at this point as well. i may talk like i care but if you put me in the same room as him, i wouldn't be very nice. h talked about how much weight he's gained and i kinda rolled my eyes at him.
so yeah, i know it's hard not to give off that vibe that you're over him/her.
H has been staying at vacation home up north, so it has been easier not having him around. H went there 6 months ago to figure things out!
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I kind of feel that way a lot of times. She continues to act towards me like she did previously, except without any affection.She still wants to tell me about her problems at work, whatever. I am about at the point where I want to tell her to stop. She is not my friend. These things don't affect me any longer. I guess I just need to walk away when she starts.
I have done this for the last 6 months. Trying to detach and acting 'as if'. Talking to him on the phone like everything is 'great'!! I think when he would call, it was to get the W 'fix' same as OW 'fix'.
But, when we are together, it is so hard because it feels like a big fat lie!! WE get long and have an OK time, but there is no affection....I feel for everyone who has to do this while living with their spouse.
I told him last week I could not be his 'friend' while he thinks it's ok to talk to OW. I WILL NOT DO THIS ANY LONGER!!!!
I don't want to talk to him on the phone or if he comes home to work on something I told him I would go to other house.
He called twice today...first call I took....he had some lame excuse why he called....second call I let go to voice mail.
It was another lame excuse, ending with...."call and let know."
I called MIL (she was with him) told her the answer and said I DO NOT want to talk to him while he still thinks its OK to talk to OW!!
He can get his W 'fix' somewhere else!!!
I, too, am at a point now where I don't know if I really want my H back.
Does that make me a WAW??
M55 H55 my D31 H D30 1st met her when she was 25 M 22yrs...2nd for me, 1st for H OW 2005 mother of H daughter, came back to introduce D 1bomb 6/05 2bomb 7/08 3bomb 2/10 moved up north
THAT is the transition point where letting go transforms into a reversal of roles. The LBS becomes the WAS, and vice-versa.
I have read this quote more than a few times now.
Once my wife told me she was not only done with the marriage but she has been unhappy for three years. Her best friend my sister in law way back when told me that the last conversation between her and my wife was not good at all. My wife was “done” We did the normal things with the kids during the day and by night I was watching tv and sleeping downstairs.
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Is anyone irritated by their WAS? Like you don't want to see them or talk to them?
I got to the point where I could not even look at her, Childish but I would literally turn my head and hide my eyes when she would walk by ( never in the presents of the children) I did this for 5 months while we hashed out the separation agreement. It was the closest thing to hell. She walked around so happy texting her friends “ I read one test that said for her to head to the nearest YMCA and pick up the boys”
Some of my resentful comments were off the cuff remarks and they were meant to pierce her heart I must say. Regrets yup apologized yup. I was literally on a downward spiral, she even said she was scared of me at times.
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I don't care what she does. It's her life and I'm not interested in knowing anything about it. The only tie we have is concerning our children. Other than that she's pretty much invisible.
I admit I do care what she is doing who she is talking to etc...but I do feel I have dropped the rope.
Getting advise on hear I started to control my roller coaster feelings. I ragged inside but showed nothing on the outside. A day before she moved out she said how was it I was handling this so well. My reply, this is a choice you have made to break up the family and I “ have turned the corner” She would ask to vacuum the downstairs and do my laundry and It felt so good to calmly say no “thank you”
We have been living apart for 4 months and yes the separation feels like a high pressure valve went off.
She has been late dropping the girls off and I have had to go the extra mile to pick the girls up but I do it with a smile on my face….never ever bitched not once. It feels so good.
I pretty much walk around happy most of the time at this point. I don't let her get me down. I have good neighbors that I talk to and all of the blow-ups with the OM and his OW2 and my contact with the OMW are actually funny at this point.
I'm starting to feel sorry for her.
I told her she is pathetic. She said that I was pathetic if I thought our D had anything to do with OM, because it would have happened anyway. I told her that it happened because of HER OTHER PROBLEMS and then I walked away. She is out of her mind.
Today is our 14th wedding anniversary and W's 44th birthday. I let the kids buy her a few presents, but I didn't acknowledge anything this morning. A few women from work are taking me out tonight early and then we have a softball game. Probably go out after that for a while too.
I told them I wasn't going home until after W was in bed. They said I should get a hotel room and not go home at all!
They said I should get a hotel room and not go home at all!
I think I am going to have fun tonight!
Great idea.... Remember.. What is good for the goose is good for the gander..
This thread is about setting them free. What better way to set her free than to stay all night and party your butt off and let her wonder about YOU for once..
Then when she asks where you were, just tell her you had a little too much to drink, or you got tired and didn't want to drive home because of your condition and that you had a friend drop you off at a motel.. Then walk away from her...
After all.. She does want to be free from you right?
