M&H - I have been thinking along the lines you are thinking. Maybe this was meant to be. We were together for so many years and maybe we were not growing in the ways that we needed to. Maybe we had to separate to give us both time to find/re-find ourselves and to learn from this experience and get ready for the next chapter of our lives. Be it together or separate. I still feel that we will be together...eventually....but I'm not waiting for it....I'm living my life and I will let God surprise me.
In the mean time I will treat H with compassion and try to understand that he is only human and that he is also in pain and struggling and making mistakes but that he is doing his best and can't do any better while in MLC.
Quote:
Mila, I'm so ready to see you MOVE FORWARD - let's go!
Yes M&H lets go
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Well, had a very, very, very good day. Read Laura Munson's book and somehow, although I find it pretentious on many levels, it really strengthened me in my view. It was like therapy. Honestly. I recommend it. It is a memoir and doesn't offer much help in the way of dealing with an MLC spouse, but it sure does do it's job in making you feel as if the view and tact you are taking is the correct one.(assuming you are putting yourself and your own growth and responsibility for your own happiness first)
We've had a great family day together. We topped it off with an award ceremony at the Young Marines (a youth group for under 18 marine hopefuls) where our little recruit got honors and Private First Class. Two awards out of four given, very cool.
We were going to go out as a family and hang tonight but instead are staying in, drinking, eating popcorn and about to watch The Road, a movie H and I have been wanting to see for some time.
Tonight is the night he's typically out with OW and I'm shocked he's here and hanging with us... but moreso, that he's hanging with a smile on his face and lightness in his heart. We're having a great time together. He's on his way to the store for butter now as we ran out for the popcorn, so I thought I'd journal while it's still fresh.
BTW - the kids left for their mom's today. They are all so fed up with H's actions towards them - or should I say abandonment of them. He's been around only occasionally since this all began. I've really done a lot of stepping things up to help cover both "positions" of parents. It's exhausting. I feel for those single moms out there.
H seemed genuinely sad to see them go, though. He's extremely tired. It was a 6 am flight, so we were up at 2:30 to get ready to get there. I drove them in his new car, had to buy gas, give them spending money, buy breakfast, snacks for the plane, and pay the tolls. H just doesn't think of these things. I literally on the way home had my heart stop. I haven't driven his car for so long, I forgot that he always runs on empty. I was about 1/8 of a tank past E. Lucky the reserve tank is bigger than on most cars.
Well, now H can spend all his time with OW and I can get moving forward with my life. No more worries about how the kids are taking it.
H was so drunk last night that he pulled out his secret phone in front of the kids. DSD took a picture of it to show me, because we had a running joke about it. H really thinks he's hidden all of this from them. He has no idea how his abandonment of them has affected them... I really think he believes he's been a good dad to them lately. They were just SO glad to get away from him and his antics so they can just be themselves again. And their mom's house is crazy, so for them to want to go there instead, with a stepdad who used to abuse them... that's saying something.
