Well, it does sound like a mess, but if you are committed to making your marriage work and keeping your family together, it can be done. You have to be willing to do what it takes. I see marriages succeed even when things looks so dire. If you aren't talking to a DB coach, I suggest you do, as they are experts in helping you to see clearly what your plan should be to get your marriage back on track, and withdrawing from the OW. I wish you all the best.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
To let this happen I have some serious character flaws and I'm trying to find those flaws and fix them. the character flaws lie in the reason you are stating for continuing your affair. they sound to me reading this, as a cheated on spouse, that you don't know yourself enough to "fix" the issues that brought this about in the first place or your hiding something. what if this woman tells her husband and your wife that the two of you never actually stopped from way back when and this has been going on and off sexually for years. She's fabricating and i was doing it out of fear wouldn't mend my broken heart. would your wife accepts those answers?
There is no justification for what I did there is you typed it already.
I don't have an explination for some of the things I did you should you taught yourself into his situation you can think yourself out.
Well Steve I can tell you I'm not hiding anything from her. I understand why you are so skeptical, you being a cheated on spouse. You are probably right in saying that I don't know myself well enough to fix this, b/c I would have never thought I was capable of doing this to my wife in the first place.
What are you asking here:
"what if this woman tells her husband and your wife that the two of you never actually stopped from way back when and this has been going on and off sexually for years. She's fabricating and i was doing it out of fear wouldn't mend my broken heart. would your wife accepts those answers?"
I mean no true justification. What I typed was my thinking then, trying to tell you the story to explain where I was coming from and the stupid thought process I was using.
Me: FWH 35 Wife: BS/Love of My Life 31 Children: Son - 3yrs & One on the Way DDay1 3/9/09 EA DDay2 2/25/10 SPa w/same XOw
i went for a jog, read my wall street journal, tweeted a bit, whats up?
whats going on on the home front? is your wife asking the same questions I asked you, is she glaring at you like she hates you, is she telling you anything about the pregnancy, do you say anything other than I am sorry?
I was hoping that you would respond to my previous reply and hoping that you would clarify the question that you had asked me.
No wife doesn't ask questions about "us," she's pretty much closed the door on that I think. Suprisingly she does talk about what baby is doing and lets me watch it move and kick (I have only got to feel the baby kick once). On a good note her blood work came back and no G diabeties thank god!
We talk about everything but "us" so I let my love for her and my remorse show through my actions, not my words. My words have been lies to her for so long I know she could not trust what I am saying. I'm not sure that she really trusts my actions either but that all I got. Know what I mean?
I truely don't want to sweep this under the rug and make it go away or white wash it over and cover it up. I want to fix me, fix what I have broken, and hopefully fix us before it is too late.
Me: FWH 35 Wife: BS/Love of My Life 31 Children: Son - 3yrs & One on the Way DDay1 3/9/09 EA DDay2 2/25/10 SPa w/same XOw
I find it interesting on this site how many people post to each other giving one another false hope and advice that they don't even follow in their own lives, but when something as close to home as this is posted they have no idea what to say.
How are your interactions with your wife going, both the positive and negative? Are you having dinner as a family? Has she allowed you to sleep over night at home yet?
Has she in a complete mental breakdown started kicking and punching you and crying?
