it's just advice but when you study human nature, you do pick up on things that happen and why they happen, just like when a WAS says "I love you but I'm not in love with you", is that person having an EA or PA or planning one every single time when this statement is made? NO, you can't say that this is true 100% of the time but the percentage is very high, high enough to consider that something might be up.
Same thing with other things that WAS's do, nothing anyone does is new anymore, if someone does something, chances are quite a few others have done it before as well, there are no "pioneers" here, you just have to learn to spot the trends.
WAW continues to live in her apartment, but also continues to come over on Sundays. We usually grocery shop together, play Scrabble and have dinner with the kids.
The last 2 Sundays she has stayed later than usual. This past Sunday we played Wii with the kids until 10:00 and then she went home. She seems to be much more comfortable when at our house.
Her 40th birthday is this month. She wants me to attend the party being thrown by a friend. We went on vacation together in March and now I am taking her away for her birthday as well. Likely a week at a resort in Mexico again.
We talk several times a week, play Scrabble on FB, text and I visit her apartment once a week or so. It's been 2 weeks since we had sex, but she continues to hug, kiss, say she misses me, etc. There is no sign of OM at all.
I'm thinking I will continue with the status quo until after our vacation together and then tell her it's time to decide. If she's not ready to make a real effort into coming home, then I will back off tons and no longer let her cake eat. I won't be rude or mean, but will start acting like a friend and not a husband.
It's been 6 months since she moved out, and will be 7 by the time the vacation is over. That's enough time to decide what she really wants.
Still with the plan of being the nice guy until our upcoming vacation is over. WAW stays later on Sunday nights than before and doesn't seem to want to leave. I say nothing.
We are in contact almost daily via phone or text or in person. But, usually with her making the initial contact. Last night she asked me to meet her for wings and beer at her work when she was done. I had a long day, but did anyway. She thanked me twice for coming, kissed and hugged me when I left.
She wants me to attend a 40th bday dinner for her at her father's house and I likely will. It may be somewhat uncomfortable, but not really an issue. I am also going to a party the next day thrown by a work friend. And then a day or two later, I am taking her away to a resort in Mexico (or somewhere) as she did for my 40th. This will be our 3rd vacation together (one of them with the kids at XMAS) in the 7 months we have been separated. How many people can say that? Weird huh!!!
I could be taking the wrong approach here, but when I step back and look at things objectively, they are much better than they were 7 months ago. Now, what will happen when I tell her it's time to work in one direction or the other...well, we will see.
WAW and I continue to live apart, but are still involved in each others lives.
Tomorrow night we are taking D18, her boyfriend and S16 to a play with tickets I bought WAW for Mother's Day. Next week is WAW's 40th birthday. I am taking her out for dinner on her birthday, then likely attending a dinner for her at her Dad's house a couple days later and then going to party for the day after that. Then the very next day, we are off to a small, couples only resort in Mexico for a week. (We were also in Mexico together in March)
If the topic of reconciliation does not comes up during vacation, I intend to discuss it when we return. If WAW is not prepared to make a genuine commitment to reconciliation, then I will change tactics completely and start to live my life without her as much as possible.
I will still be friendly, but no more dates, booty calls, etc.
The next couple of weeks will determine our future. A little scary, but it's time to move forward in one way or the other.
Look I just read your last few posts, why rock the boat? Are you enjoying yourself? Sounds like she doesn't mind spending time with you and you get some alone time too and maybe this is what you both needed, I think you should continue doing what you're doing, it's working, she's spending more time with you, she wants to be around you, she's inviting you to places and her family's home, she feels more comfortable around you.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Let it be.
This is a good thing for you. This has given you time to examine yourself and your life and to improve areas that required improvement without the pressure of having to do those things to win your wife, you did them because it's your life to live.
Dates are good, enjoy the sex and just enjoy the time you have.
If this really isn't enough for you, continue living your current life just don't be available for her when she asks you out or wants to come over, be somewhere else.
Back from the vacation to Mexico with WAW to celebrate her 40th birthday.
I said to some friends that I thought this trip would determine what would happen between us. Unfortunately, I was right.
While we never fought or anything, we just didn't commect all week. WAW was frustrated with me quite often and I was not comfortable a lot of the time. When we were away in April, and even since then, things seemed to be getting better. But, the vacation was a real step backwards.
D18 told me that WAW told her that "we won't be getting back together" - "your Dad hasn't changed" "it's too late".
I called WAW today and admitted that I didn't think it went well between us and to ask her what her thoughts are. She's still not willing to say it's 100% over and that there is no hope, but it's close. She again told me I can "date other people".
Unless something dramatic happens (and I have no idea what that could be) we will stay with our current plan to sell the house next June and proceed with the divorce.
The optimist in me says that still gives me almost a year, but the realist tells me that I simply am not the man she wants me to be, and can't make genuine, lasting changes to be that man either.
Only a few days before the trip, when I took WAW out for her b'day dinner, things felt good between us. But I think one week of being together 24/7 brought reality crashing to our world.
Today, I am sad, but accepting. Back to one day at a time.....
Not really a blow to the ego - more like a dose of reality. There really wasn't much left to my ego in regards to my relationship with my WAW before this, so not much to hit.
I wasn't posting much recently, so kinda actually miss the 2x4. Maybe that was part of the problem - not focusing on my dbing enough and slowly sliding into contentment.
