When you stood at the altar on your wedding day, giddy with hope and excitement, could you EVER have imagined your blushing bride spewing the venom that's coming out of her mouth?
NO!
So don't believe her NOW! This is like one of those Sci-Fi movies where aliens have taken over your wife's body and you have to defeat the bogus Mrs. Ken in order to save the real one.
Do what you need to in order to BE THE HERO and save the day!
I have a protective order for my house. He can't come around the house. I'll have to look into getting one for me. Thanks Allen for that suggestion.
Sandi, you're right. I need to stop pleading and get back to my 180's.
SeeingRed, that is a very accurate description of what seems to have happened. It's just as if aliens have taken over her body.
Thanks for the encouragement. It's so hard to be patient with this. Often I wonder if she'll EVER come back around. I haven't touched her for months now and she certainly is not approaching me for affection. That's hard to take. On the contrary, she is still "spewing venom", saying "I'm not in love with you", "I would need a brain transplant to love you", etc. Hearing that makes me feel depressed.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Ken, the PHYSICAL stuff is the LAST to return usually...
You got a protective order.. GOOD... another dent in this dreamland they created... as long as your wife is in the home OM can't come around... I guess he will be notified of this by someone?
Details on the PO?
The idea here ken is to get the law involved to raise the stakes even MORE.. it takes the excitement out of the affair and helps wake yoru wife up.. it will take TIME, but if she sees a protective order to keep OM away from her home it WILL make a dent in her wall.. it takes time and its a slow proccess...
Good job ken... get one for your kids and you if you can...
The more law you throw at this guy and in your wife's face the less fun this little affair is... It becomes an embarassment instead...
TELL people Ken, exposse the PO to people in church to shame the guy too... don't keep teh PO a secret... let everyone know you had to do that to protect your home.
I have a protective order for my house. He can't come around the house. I'll have to look into getting one for me.
YES!!!!
Ken, I know this has been very hard b/c I think I know what kind of person you are by the posts you have left. You have a gentle, caring heart, but that also can appear to be passive to a WAW. I realize that it may seem as if you get hit over the head with some things, but remember that we've been in a stitch similar to yours. With me, of course, I was the WAW and my H was very much like you. If he had not stepped up and be the man he had to be....I would not be home and respecting him as the head of our home. There is no promise that your W will change back to the W you want, but she sure won't if you "don't" do what you've been advised.
I am proud of you making the decision to protect your home. Good for you!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Don't you feel safer Ken? Don't you feel like your family is safer?
I know its just a protection order, but I believe the OM gets notified of this as well... does he not?
Be ready to call the cops if he violates it too...
Keep getting the law involved.. you see this secret little affair of theirs has a very different face on it now.. its getting uglier by the day Ken.. Keep up the great work!
Next time your wife complains about something mention to her...
Yah, I am really proud of you too.. I had to get a protection order for our home to keep that creep away from our kids... You proud of that? I can't wait to tell our kids about this when they get older... They will have so much respect for their mother when I tell them what I had to do to protect them because SHE won't tell OM to get lost
If she insists she wants him to go away... CALL her on it and take her to get a PO for HER too.. BOOM!
I bet she won't go... But say it anyways, when she has to backpeddal it will put another dent in the wall...
The more legal hassles/reality checks these two addicts have to deal with, the less fun it becomes. When it's secret and sneaky, it's exciting. When there's a criminal record involved? Not so much.
So...want some hot, steamy sex?
Then read a hot, steamy romance novel in a genre that you like - contemporary, historical, murder mystery, or whatever. Not only will you see how a NORMAL relationship plays out - complete with conflicts, boundaries, AND wild physical attraction - you'll realize just how NOT normal what you're been dealing with IS.
Men are stimulated by what they see and touch. Women get turned on by what they think and FEEL. Since most romances are written by women, you'll get VALUABLE insight into HOW WOMEN THINK about love, romance, and relationships. It may seem corny, but if you get inside her mind...you win.
I remember reading early on in this saga that while men have a hard time giving up OW, women tend to dump OM as soon as their needs are met at home. Meet her needs, Ken, and she'll be back in a flash...
I remember reading early on in this saga that while men have a hard time giving up OW, women tend to dump OM as soon as their needs are met at home. Meet her needs, Ken, and she'll be back in a flash...
Not true.
I had to fight off and on for over two years.. and I was doin a pretty darn good job before the first year was out of stepping up... It took a LONG time for OM to dissappear...
Whomever said that is misinformed... There are other men here such as officerinneed who can also confirm this is not the case...
