Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[CityGirl]

If you have spent a ton of money you should be getting good service. What about a meeting with the senior partner or somebody above your attny do express your displeasure?

I feel for you. All of *this* is hard enough w/o having to worry about your legal counsel.

I think about you all the time and wish you strength and peace.

[antlers]

1. If you have spent a ton of money you should be getting good service. What about a meeting with the senior partner or somebody above your attny do express your displeasure?

2. I feel for you. All of *this* is hard enough w/o having to worry about your legal counsel.

3. I think about you all the time and wish you strength and peace.

1. I should be getting better service than I have. The law firm is her's; she is the boss...there is nobody at this firm that is above her.

2. Thank You. You hit the nail on the head. All of 'this' is hard enough without having to worry about your legal counsel.

3. Thank You. Likewise.

[CityGirl]

My only other suggestion would be to call the Bar Association and see if they can advise you how to better communicate with your attny or what your legal options are.

[antlers]

I've got an appointment with her (my attorney) Wednesday afternoon. I'm gonna voice my concerns to her at that time.
I'll see how that goes, then go from there.

Incidentally, I found out today that if she wins full custody, the monthly amount that I'm paying now will increase by nearly 350%! By Oklahoma law!
That's her motivation right there!

[ImprovedRomeo]

antlers it is true that full child custody costs the other parent a lot. I think it's the worst possible financial outcome in a divorce. But more and more courts are trying to assign joint custody for the sake of the kids and I hope that's the case for you. You'll need to fight for it with all you've got starting with getting the right attorney. I'm sorry to push this but it's for your own benefit. Whatever gets decided you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life so do whatever it takes to get the best possible attorney you can find.

[antlers]

Mornin'.

I appreciate your posts. I pray to God that the courts will assign joint custody in my case for the sake of the kids. I reviewed all the opposing sides exhibits/evidence yesterday...saw specifically what she and members of her family (one's that communicated with me regularly during the separation) had and are doing to damage me. I'm feeling pretty low today because of all this. I don't know how I'll be able to make my house and truck payments, and live, if the courts award her full custody! A 350% increase above what I'm paying now will kill me financially. I've sent her 5 payments already and she hasn't cashed a single one of the checks! Damn it's hard for me to comprehend this from her after spending nearly 2 decades with her!

I'm gonna voice my concerns to my attorney Wednesday afternoon. Based upon how that goes, I'll make a decision regarding my legal counsel. I want to fight with all I've got, and I want to trust that my legal counsel will do the same. When I hired this lady, it was me getting the best possible attorney I could get. She's known around here as being a tenacious litigator...a pit bull! I'm not comfortable with how things have gone so far. So, I hope things can be resolved, or bettered, one way or another, as a result of our meeting tomorrow afternoon.

It would be very easy to be overwhelmed by the situation, the pain, disappointment, remorse, fear, grief...and all of the other negative emotions that go along with an awful situation such as this. I have to fight hard, daily, to not be overwhelmed by this. I hate it that things are this way.

[antlers]

Why is forgiveness from her so important to me...even in light of the things she's done and is continuing to do?

I've had true remorse, I repented, I shouldered what I had done, I apologized profusely, I tried to make amends and atone, I asked for forgiveness...and I changed.

And it has fallen on deaf ears.


I'm in a bad spot in this divorce, and I feel pretty much overwhelmed right now. Negative emotions, like those I posted earlier today, are consuming me right now. I'm getting some good exercise this morning, but it's odd to be jumping rope and hitting a heavy bag...and feeling profound grief, and even crying, while you're doing it.

[antlers]

I'm considering sending her an E-mail and asking her if we could 'stop' this adversarial war that is going on via the legal system because of the damage that it's doing to all of us?


Thoughts?

[Bridgestone]

I'm considering sending her an E-mail and asking her if we could 'stop' this adversarial war that is going on via the legal system because of the damage that it's doing to all of us?


Thoughts?

Don't do it... I don't think she won't take it the way you intend it.

I'm sorry that what you read from her & her family was hurtful to you. I hope you can understand they provide one perspective and there are often multiple sides. And judges are skilled in exmmining all. I'm assuming that your legal team has similar statements to make your case for you.

What are you doing that is adversarial? It takes two to go to war. What indication do you have that "she" is being damaged by this process?

((antlers)))
Peace
Bridge

[antlers]

Maybe not. I'd just like for this 'scortched-earth' litigation to end. I've written her lots of stuff over the last 18 months, and it's all fallen on deaf ears.

My oldesr daughter had been gathering 'evidence' for her mother by copying FaceBook postings and texts from the little kids to her, and then giving them to her mother and her attorney. Her father had been forwarding communication between he and I to his daughter and her attorney. I hope the Judge is as skilled as you say, as far as examining all sides. I have provided much documentation to my legal counsel since she filed. I'm dependant to the GAL to help make my case for me. I saw the GAL back in February, and as of the final resolution conference a few weeks ago, the kids mother had yet to even see her!

The legal system we have is adversarial by it's very nature. Once the lawyers get involved, it gets that way. If someone's coming after you with everything they have, and they're trying to take everything that you have...it becomes a war. Maybe 'she' isn't! The GAL told me in February that if this thing goes to trial, "it's gonna be worse on everybody involved...you, the kids, her...everybody." I know that my kids are suffering, and that alone makes it harder on me. Maybe it doesn't bother her to see the kids damaged like they are. My son is currently at odds with his mother and her side of the family, and my daughters are at odds with me. It's an awful situation that continues to get worse. Her parents, and his big sister, have even been berating and belittling my son on FaceBook because he wants to stay with me!