Always remember, your actions will speak louder than words.
You look her directly in the eyes, and slowly, calmly, use Gucci's speech EXACTLY.
When she denies/lies, your response is: "We both know you are lying" and walk away.
I would NOT engage OM.
Get others input on the parents.
Just disable her internet access. No need to "make it look like the router died".
Quote:
6. I tell her she has 2 choices, stop the affair or MOVE OUT.
NO, she needs to feel the loss. No choices. YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH HER. You are rejecting her. You are letting natural consequence happen to her based on her poor choices.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Always remember, your actions will speak louder than words.
You look her directly in the eyes, and slowly, calmly, use Gucci's speech EXACTLY.
When she denies/lies, your response is: "We both know you are lying" and walk away.
I would NOT engage OM.
Get others input on the parents.
Just disable her internet access. No need to "make it look like the router died".
Quote:
6. I tell her she has 2 choices, stop the affair or MOVE OUT.
NO, she needs to feel the loss. No choices. YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH HER. You are rejecting her. You are letting natural consequence happen to her based on her poor choices.
Ditto! I wish I had come on this site when I first got my bomb.. I would have handled it just as above and I can assure you that things would have been differently. Instead, I allowed myself to be put on this horrid rollercoaster of lies, torment and more lies!
GL!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
One thing I've observed on here with WAWs such as yours is that the OM usually SPLITS when the A is discovered. Can't think of a single OM who really wanted to FIGHT for his bit on the side. They more or less give up when it gets complicated.
The other thing I've observed is that WAWs back pedal a bit when the financial realities begin to bite. She has her own income but it will still pinch to lose your contribution to her lifestyle. Impose that justice right now, QS! Anything in YOUR name that she uses or does that enables her degrading behavior - close it down. Greek
Always remember, your actions will speak louder than words.
You look her directly in the eyes, and slowly, calmly, use Gucci's speech EXACTLY.
When she denies/lies, your response is: "We both know you are lying" and walk away.
I would NOT engage OM.
Get others input on the parents.
Just disable her internet access. No need to "make it look like the router died".
Quote:
6. I tell her she has 2 choices, stop the affair or MOVE OUT.
NO, she needs to feel the loss. No choices. YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH HER. You are rejecting her. You are letting natural consequence happen to her based on her poor choices.
Ditto! I wish I had come on this site when I first got my bomb.. I would have handled it just as above and I can assure you that things would have been differently. Instead, I allowed myself to be put on this horrid rollercoaster of lies, torment and more lies!
There are reasons people have cyber affairs. It's because they don't care to have REAL, IN-PERSON ones, for a whole host of reasons.
Puppy
That's the thing. If she could, she WOULD go see him right now TODAY. She wants to wait until the divorce is finalized so she doesn't get nailed by adultery in the divorce. But she wants him in REAL LIFE quite, quite alot. They used to data a long long time ago.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/08/1009:11 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
There are reasons people have cyber affairs. It's because they don't care to have REAL, IN-PERSON ones, for a whole host of reasons.
Puppy
That's the thing. If she could, she WOULD go see him right now TODAY. She wants to wait until the divorce is finalized so she doesn't get nailed by adultery in the divorce. But she wants him in REAL LIFE quite, quite alot. They used to data a long long time ago.
In their Effed up mind, they think this isn't adultery.. They think that because there is no penetration, it's not an affair.. it's such BS. it makes me sick!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
There are reasons people have cyber affairs. It's because they don't care to have REAL, IN-PERSON ones, for a whole host of reasons.
Puppy
That's the thing. If she could, she WOULD go see him right now TODAY. She wants to wait until the divorce is finalized so she doesn't get nailed by adultery in the divorce. But she wants him in REAL LIFE quite, quite alot. They used to data a long long time ago.
I was referring to HIM, QuickSilver. Like Greek said better than I could, the "real" ones become o-so-much-more-complicated than the online, cyber, get-your-rocks-off-with-no-strings-attached ones.
I get you now puppy, and sorry if i came across strong. I didn't mean anything by it. with her she is in the ILYBAMILWY place, and this this is a real type of way to get the attention she needs to make her feel good, and she is moving toward the relationship she always wanted with him.
It just kills me to read those chats and see what she said about wanting to be in his bed right then ect....
She did an online search of "How to get a guy". That should tell you how strongly she is pursuing him.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/08/1009:18 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
[quote=Quicksilver264]I get you now puppy, and sorry if i came across strong. I didn't mean anything by it. To her, this is a real affair and is moving toward the relationship she always wanted with him. [/quote
I know she is. Which is why we're saying to burst her bubble. We could be wrong, but I'd estimate that 75% (and even HIGHER, with men) in online cybersex affairs PREFER to not get involved IRL!!!
