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Yes confront her.
Tell her you know everything, give her all the details.
Tell her you're going to contact her family and let them know what's going on and that you guys are splitting up.

Tell her that you aren't going to share her with another man and she is free to go. Tell her she should be with that guy if that's what she wants to do but you won't be disrespected in your own home, she needs to go to a friends house to conduct her relationship with the OM because you won't allow it to go on while you still live there in your own home. You will be civil with her when it comes to the kids (if you have kids) and she is free to go and do what she wants and you'll do the same for your life.

You can't chase someone who doesn't want to be with you.

Let her go, do your own thing, enjoy your life,
you know about the affair, you aren't some dumb naive husband who thinks his wife couldn't be up to such things. You know better now.

Move on.
Let go.

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Originally Posted By: gucci loafer


Tell her this... "I have been doing some thinking and here is what I have decided. I have decided that you are right. This isn't working. I agree that we should separate and divorce. I think since you are having cyber sex and probably even an affair that you should move out. The sooner the better. I would like you to find a place to stay within a week."



^This...EXACTLY.

Do not stray off point no matter what she throws at you.
Greek


Me45 H46
T25 M22
S21 & 19
D13
Separated and filed 8/08
Moved home 11/08



Happily ever after is one day at a time.
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Originally Posted By: robx
. . .you aren't some dumb naive husband who thinks his wife couldn't be up to such things. . . .




Not that we ever see any of THOSE around here, no-siree . . . wink smirk

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails


Originally Posted By: robx
. . .you aren't some dumb naive husband who thinks his wife couldn't be up to such things. . . .




Not that we ever see any of THOSE around here, no-siree . . . wink smirk

Puppy


Pinheads! smirk


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
We didn't have a very active sex life in the past few months. She wanted attention from me, but rarely voiced it in a consistent and clear manner.

She said "I always came to you first! You weren't meeting my needs so I went somewhere else to someone who paid attention and made me feel good, sexy, and hot"

YES I MADE MISTAKES. I definitely didn't have sex with her enough, but she NEVER came across as this very sexual woman she is being like with this guy online. She is saying and doing things I have asked her to do, but she FLATLY REFUSED. She NEVER EVER took a nude pic for me. EVER.

I don't deserve to sit in my bedroom 8 feet a way while she talked about going to visit him and setting up skype calls to pleasure themselves together.

She is going away next week, and plans to use video IM to do all kinds of things for him. The pain is so bad I can't take it.


Part of the affair is flattery and elevation thats hard for them to get in a straight up relationship. You CAN have this in a straight up relationship, and you can keep it going forever. Thing is people usually cheat and we have to think were more clever than our spouses, which blows the fantasy.

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Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
I found nude pictures of her on her phone by using deleted photo recovery software.

Yep, I found pics like that, too.

Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
I installed a packet sniffer on our home network that looks for specific keywords coming through very specific ports designated for FB IM and Chat.

Not to threadjack, but what packet sniffer did you use, and what ports are used for FB (and AOL, if you know them...)?

Thanks and good luck.

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Here's the thing. I've already caught her with the nude photos and some texts.

The photos I recovered had EXIF timestamps - 17 from late may, and 8 from EARLY may. Looking up the data usage on our cell phone bill, I CAN SEE THE PICTURE/MMS exchanges:

Early May - Number 1 (?)
Late May - Number 2 (this FB affair guy right now)

I confronted her and she said this guy from FB (Late May) had a different cell phone back then. I called in a pretty big favor to a law enforcement buddy, and he got me EVERYTHING on the first phone number from early may. It is one of her companies' clients she works with and has to meet out of town on business. This guy is married with 2 kids.

It's hard to tell from the pictures, but there is a possibility that someone else might have taken them, i.e. and actual sexual encounter. BUT, what is so highly interesting is that looking at the texting between Guy #1 and her from March-late april it was always during regular business times. Then the times of the textx got LATER AND LATER, until the night the pictures were exchanged, it was at 10pm. I talked to her that night, and I KNOW she was in her room.

She still FLATLY denies that there are 2 separate people. I have her dead to rights though.

I exported an Excel spreadsheet of all the data useage, and you can SEE THE PATTERN of texting leading up to the photo exchanges back in early may.

Now she was furious with me for "snooping" on her phone, and checking the cell phone usage. But she DOESN'T know I have the internet capture up and running on my network. I don't want to give that up, as that is my one-time mother of all bombs (MOAB). It's definitely mutually assured destruction after that.

Anyone have an idea for the "Plan"


Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/08/10 04:10 PM.

Me - 32
Her -30
Married - 7 Years
Together - 9 Years
No Kids
05/21 - Bomb
6/8 - Exposed
7/9 - Re-Exposed
06/11 - She Filed
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I wanted to send you hugs!!!

I have logs and pictures of my H (not nekkid pics of him but pics he sent OW and pics OW sent him) and pics of them out together.

I know how much it hurts.

How I yearned to have H treat me and want those things from me that he was getting from OW.

Keep your head up! Be strong and follow the males advice on here. It's golden!


M: 32
H: 34
S:5
D: 3
D: 1
Together 11 years
Married 7
Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off)
ILYBINILWY: 08/09

"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting."
-Laura Munson
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Originally Posted By: Coach
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails


Originally Posted By: robx
. . .you aren't some dumb naive husband who thinks his wife couldn't be up to such things. . . .




Not that we ever see any of THOSE around here, no-siree . . . wink smirk

Puppy


Pinheads! smirk


Um, that's SUBORDINATING pinheads to you, mister! mad wink grin

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
Here's the thing. I've already caught her with the nude photos and some texts.

The photos I recovered had EXIF timestamps - 17 from late may, and 8 from EARLY may. Looking up the data usage on our cell phone bill, I CAN SEE THE PICTURE/MMS exchanges:

Early May - Number 1 (?)
Late May - Number 2 (this FB affair guy right now)

I confronted her and she said this guy from FB (Late May) had a different cell phone back then. I called in a pretty big favor to a law enforcement buddy, and he got me EVERYTHING on the first phone number from early may. It is one of her companies' clients she works with and has to meet out of town on business. This guy is married with 2 kids.

It's hard to tell from the pictures, but there is a possibility that someone else might have taken them, i.e. and actual sexual encounter. BUT, what is so highly interesting is that looking at the texting between Guy #1 and her from March-late april it was always during regular business times. Then the times of the textx got LATER AND LATER, until the night the pictures were exchanged, it was at 10pm. I talked to her that night, and I KNOW she was in her room.

She still FLATLY denies that there are 2 separate people. I have her dead to rights though.

I exported an Excel spreadsheet of all the data useage, and you can SEE THE PATTERN of texting leading up to the photo exchanges back in early may.

Now she was furious with me for "snooping" on her phone, and checking the cell phone usage. But she DOESN'T know I have the internet capture up and running on my network. I don't want to give that up, as that is my one-time mother of all bombs (MOAB). It's definitely mutually assured destruction after that.

Anyone have an idea for the "Plan"



DAMN, I like this guy. He's goooooood. cool

Puppy

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