Good for you, that's part of putting in the boundaries you need BBJ. Little steps will take you a long way...speaking of which, I hope your feet feel better!
BBj, I know you still love Dan and still have hope, but I just don't get why you allow him to text you with these ridiculous demands. He is still cake-eating and gas-lighting, still stringing you along. Not to mention still admonishing you with his emotional abuse.
And guess what? You guys are divorced. Since when do you think it's ok to get all defensive at his infantile texts? Ignore them. Quit going to dinner with him as though you are still a couple. You're confusing the hell out of your kids.
Shoes and clothes and wii, oh my!! Such profound texting from your ex.
How old are these children he is judging as wimps and calling out of shape? There are many different forms of athleticism, and kids don't necessarily discover their inner athlete in nursery or grammar school. My youngest is dyslexic and never could see the ball right. Didn't play any sports all through school. I guess some people might have called him names, but he liked to cook and do things around the house.
Then, when he was 14 he said he wanted to be a lifeguard, but was afraid he wouldn't pass the test. I told him, "unless you try it, you'll never know if you can do it or not." That boy has been a lifeguard for the past 6 summers. He surfs, scuba dives, wakeboards, kiteboards, and I don't know what else. He turned out to be an athlete, just a different kind. His thing is water sports. He developed a nice, strong body with just a couple of summers in the ocean.
You need to talk to Dan about how bad it is to compare children. As a teacher, you know how unproductive it is to wonder why your kid isn't like someone else's kid. Each one is special and needs to be appreciated for who he/she is.
Hope you are feeling better. Read your post and the lyrics (all of them) to that song. I did not see in there that LOVE remembers what a$$holes our ex spouses were and in some cases still are...All the $hit we endured all the lies.....does LOVE remember that? Sorry, this is not about you per se.....I am getting a little frustrated I guess with what I have been reading recently. Maybe because it hits too close to home...I don't know. What I do know is when I hear one of those songs, you can bet that I am switching to another station....pronto. I don't like to dwell in it....I know I need to help myself (some may say I am hiding my emotions.....maybe). All I know is the life I had is finished.....done.....and I don't see why I have to bask in the past especially since it is so painful. I guess it is my way of coping. It is already hard enough with joint custody etc. I guess what I am saying is WE have to help ourselves .... stop being the victim....our exes acted horribly and they don't deserve us. Keep your chin up BBJ and turn off your phone once in a while and change the radio station...
