WIFE : You are manipulating me making those calls YOU : I am making alternative arrangements for my children. I need someone here providing day care to my kids and making this home inviting to love in. I need someone who can do that and NOT be making sleazy calls to another man while they are in this house. YOU don't seem to be able to manage that simple task. I can find alternative arrangements that these kids CAN RELY ON.
And again your wife is very likley going to say something like
WIFE : I am their mother, they can rely on me YOU : What they can rely on is their mother lying to their father and breaking their home into pieces... THAT is what YOU are SHOWING them they can RELY on you for right now.
These are examples of what I meant by standing up to her. Why do you care if she says you manipulate her? Remember the time she poured syrup all over you and screamed in your face? It's times like that that you need to "man-up".
Get those S papers completed. Have you tried to hide them? Make no bones about what you're doing. Allen is giving great advice.
Don't fear her anger. You are the head of the home. Put your pants on and show your children how their father will protect them during a time such as this.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
UPDATE: I have the paperwork for the Temporary Separation Order, but I haven't started to fill it out yet. I'm planning to start that tonight. I didn't think my wife was still talking to the OM, but I discovered today that she has been and my little one told me that she called him from work and told him "I wish you could come here" and "you're making me cry". I saw on her phone log that she had two conversations with him today.
When she got home, she talked to me about planning our 7 yo daughter's birthday party and wants me to go to the local rec center and pay to reserve the place for a time next week. I wanted to be there to celebrate it, but now I don't know what I should do about that. My wife plans to be there.
Also should I call the OM and confront him? He did tell me a week and a half ago that he would not be calling W and he asked her not to call him. I guess that didn't last.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
I would confront. Then tell your W you know she has been contacting him. She will argue saying that she hasn't, etc. Before she goes too far into her tirade.
Hold your hand up and just say, "I know you did and that's that". Then walk away. Don't give her a chance to "explain".
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I don't know what the OM's wife is doing. It seems that she has little or no control over what the OM does (if she ever did have). He walks all over her and she lets him.
W seemed in a good mood this evening and I went ahead and went along with her plans for our daughter's birthday party. W has been sleeping on the sofa for about a week and a half now - ever since I threatened her with the TSO.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Just keep up the work Ken... Stay mature, responsible, and respectable... It will win out in the end...
Your wife and OM are being immature, and that rarely wins in the end... Your wife won't stay with someone she can't respect, and long term she won't have respect for this man... Not gonna happen.
