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At least, not COUNTRY music. Try some Ramones!

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Quote:
"So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now."
-carrie underwood starts with goodbye


Good tune and boy don't we know it??? smile


was theotherhalf
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MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07
D6/09
Still trying to accept and move on...
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Talked last night - not what you may be thinking though.
Talked about what furniture he'll take.

I fell asleep on couch, then went to bed. He came up a little later. I was more than 1/2 asleep and I asked if it was weird to share a bed since we are broke up and he said no (?!?!!?!)

I don't know or understand whatever is going on. Nothing from him - not saying he wants to stay, that he loves me, wants to work it out, etc. NOTHING. Just weird. But like I mentioned, not surprising because in the past when it has come to this sort of point I was the one going to him, talking to him, pulling information out of him. The only time it was different was in February, when he spent the 1 night at Jesse's and then had the flowers and card.

It perplexes me, but in a way it makes it a little easier since it's not a fight of him begging and pleading and me trying to resist. Because honestly, if he initiated a conversation and said anything to the effect and sincerity that he loved me and wanted to work on things, etc AND followed through - I would probably agree to it.

I do love him plus there is this huge investment of time, energy, etc.

I know that that kills some of those reading this - but that is how I feel.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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...so basically he can come and go as he pleases and treat you like crap right up until the time he is supposed to be out and then if he does not have something better lined up he can throw you a couple of crumbs and get to stay and treat you like crap some more.

Really TMW? Do you not know how much more you are worth?

Is it weird for you to sleep in the same bed with him? Why would you want him there????


Me 54
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This all just sucks. Plain and simple. And here is the most plain, pure statement I can make:
I love him, I don't want him to leave and I want to work things out.

Of course there are a great many details into what would go into that (love (appreciation, respect), setting goals and priorities).
Along with that, I know I cannot do all the work and I will not allow things to be how they have been.
I have no idea what is going to happen. The line in the sand has been drawn so to speak. I've been going through this entirely too long.


So far, things have been quiet, calm, cordial. Talked about furniture and lawn equipment.


What I know for sure is that this week has not been good. Not much sleeping, not much eating. I've had a few breakdowns, but away from him in one way or another (another part of the house, while he was out or at work).
I am very much breaking bad habits - I'm not going to him, trying to talk and pull information out of him. Especially not pulling just what I want to hear out of him. Controlling outbursts of words and or emotion.
Right now I want things to change and work out with us - but if they don't, I'm ready for that too.


I don't know, I feel like I'm just babbling and rambling - sorry if I am. Thanks for reading.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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I hope you're feeling better by now, TMW.


Me 54
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asking for some prayers - for guidance, strength. for he and i to both find our ways, whether that be together or apart.

big fight over the weekend. don't want to get into detail. he doesn't know what he wants, believes i'm controlling and things will never change; not sure if he wants to work on it.

to me, the 30 day notice last week stands.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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...all things my H says to me. Imagine yourself in this EXACT position 20 years from now with two kids.

TMW... please save yourself!


Me 54
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Hi TMW:

Things WILL never change. Not for the better. You know this!

Giving him until August just gives you 3 more months to change your mind. It is YOUR place, not his. He is unreliable, untrustworthy and he is cheating on you. This is a guy you show the DOOR!

I know this is harsh but you need to get your backbone together. Stop praying for a miracle. Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. Stop being a doormat.

In this instance there should be only one way out - EXIT!!!

Make no attempt to prove me wrong. You are only cheating yourself.

Barb

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was just asking for some prayers to help us find our ways - not asking for prayers to make this work or anything. geesh.
not even praying for a miracle, not expecting anything.

i hope. i love. i can't stop that. but i can take action to stop being used.

and he doesn't have till august, he has till middle of june, 22 days actually. he has till then to wake up, open his eyes to see the amazing person that i am standing in front of him trying to love him and make this work. if he can't appreciate it and put forth true effort - there is the door.

i am not saying anything else to him about anything. i know i've said it before - but i am truly resolved and i have prayed very hard and i continue to pray and i have asked some close friends and family for prayer to give me the strength and guidance to find my way and for him to find his. whatever happens, i'm ready for the next step. either moving forward, living alone or having a partner who loves, appreciates and respects me and this relationship.

with that, i'm offline for a while. thanks.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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