MINDFULL... Time to proceed w/the Big D...

[Kalni]

I agree with Ferg. He just wants to make it official. Less stress, more fun, "everybody is happy"... Cake eating master.
K

PS So, does he know you know about his "friend" and the current set up?

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((Mindfull))))))
In my experience, with kids fairly similar in age, going between homes doesn't seem to bother them a bit. I think they'd get more confused by the mixed message of him popping in and out whenever the mood struck him.

Isn't it interesting... in his plan, he gets to have his alternate life, and yet he still gets to control yours! I think not! He needs to have time (not necessarily equal) with the kids, when he is responsible for the kids, on his turf. And you can have a life on yours,

[mindfull]

Nice gig, if you can get it.

Ferg... o/~ And, the walls come tumbling down...

PS So, does he know you know about his "friend" and the current set up?

Kalni... I have purposely not brought it up yet. I am thinking of it now, as a negotiating point, or PAUSE for dramatic affect. If I have to serve him, I'll do it to the apartment. If he serves me, I'll reply back to his petition there. BUT, don't get me wrong... I will NOT deprive myself of the shock factor of an in person outing. GROWL! LOL

He needs to have time (not necessarily equal) with the kids, when he is responsible for the kids, on his turf. And you can have a life on yours,

Jeff... you're preaching to the choir!!! I will get it some version of MY WAY, because it's the right way for the boys. He's done getting to control my future. FINITO!



It's funny... no emotions about anything... just calm... and, some joy!!!

[NNP1965]

-- He thinks his "friend" (and I use that term loosely) and his W have a great set-up. The W and kids are in the house. H has an apartment 3 miles away. He comes and goes as he pleases, when it suits him. GEE, SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! NOT

That is exactly what my H would like to have, only he lives 5 hours away. He wants to come home and play happy family, whenever he feels like.

[BobbiJo]

-- He thinks his "friend" (and I use that term loosely) and his W have a great set-up. The W and kids are in the house. H has an apartment 3 miles away. He comes and goes as he pleases, when it suits him. GEE, SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! NOT

That is exactly what my H would like to have, only he lives 5 hours away. He wants to come home and play happy family, whenever he feels like.

THIS is EXACTLY what I LET my ex do, for 9 months, after he moved out January 2009. And I regret it. He moved out (to his parents', classy) and then he stopped by almost every night to hang out with the kids, after work until they went to bed, then he left. But if he found a better option on a particular night, he didn't come.

So he got to see them as much as he wanted while still being able to have his own private time and/or time with ow. Meanwhile I was attached to the kids 24/7, sometimes with him, sometimes without him. I allowed it, thinking that having 'family time' gave him a chance to see and appreciate me---yeah, cause that did the trick the prior 10 years?!

So anyway good for you on not allowing that to happen...

[luvless]

He thinks his "friend" (and I use that term loosely) and his W have a great set-up. The W and kids are in the house. H has an apartment 3 miles away. He comes and goes as he pleases, when it suits him. GEE, SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! NOT

Right??!!

[pearlharbr]

I know I'm still testy from my evening yesterday, but I just want to fly out there and beat the crap out of your H! (Probably because it wouldn't be good if I smacked BF like I really want to.)

He wants to just come and go as he pleases? Agree with Fergie & Jeff, sounds exactly like what he already does. WHATEVER! and HELL NO!

Glad to hear the emotions have subsided and you're able to move forward with the evolving plan. You're right to hold onto the knowledge of the "secret" apartment to use it to your advantage. Follow your L's advice to get the best deal.

So if you're selling the house, we need to get on this girls' weekend! Yes, I'm volunteering you to host us and inviting myself. Very gauche but I want to see your house!

[Dane]

I am impressed you held your words with the boatlift douche. I would have "outed" the STBX right there. It is none of his business.

You are handling this so well. Newcomers need to follow your lead.

There is no way he has NOT talked to a lawyer, he is smarter than that.
He is not filing because he knows the consequences of doing so.
The idea of responding to his filing at his "secret" apt is pretty cool.

[alice444]

Mind- I LOVE your attitude! We are all cheering you on from our respective computers out here

[mindfull]

So anyway good for you on not allowing that to happen...[/color][/b]

BBJ - What was Kara's thread's name? DONE, FINITO, FINISHED!

Luv - Hence, the NOT!

Pearl - We ARE doing the girls weekend. And, no worries. I met w/my realtor this am. The boys get out of school in a week or so, and I don't want a parade of showings while they're home for the summer. (They are messy, and they have had enough disruption.) So, depending on deed status, mortgage info, etc... we're going to do a pocket listing through the middle of August, and see what sticks. The house SHOULD be sought after, since there are so few on the river here... AND, most are small(er). Ours is special. I have some work to have done on it in order to show it anyhow. We have time, girlfriend!!! Ideally, I get the work done, THEN we have the girls weekend! It'll be show room ready, then! (Feel free to smack when ready, btw... I WON'T be offended!)

Dane - I've learned a lot of patience, which is something I never have had a lot of! My L keeps telling me to "slow down". This is not a race. And/or telling me I would make an awful chess player! I'm an implementer. So, once I'm on a path. Get the hel1 out of my way, if you're not on the program... Yea, the Love Shack will get force fed a new vibe.