LUV - Thank you. Got your txt's. Glad I could help... I have some time (FINALLY) today. I need to go, and get caught up w/you. LUV YOU!
BBJ - There came a time, about a month ago, after months of work to regain my self confidence and strength, that my very best BFF said to me, "Mindfull. Have you finally found yourself? Because you finally look, happy."
I have another friend, that sent me a txt this week, after taking me out and getting me stupid silly... "One small pathetic man in this world is not going to bring me down and ruin my spirit."
*** NOTE TO FORUM - NOT MAN BASHING. LOL
Kara - Thank you. I am glad he's spending time w/them, as well... Not thrilled to have him in such close vicinity, BUT, I'll handle it, temporarily, for the boys (and D19's sake).
Self care time? Yep! Handled! THANK YOU!
UPDATE:
So, yesterday proved to be a bit stressful... But, I'm handling it ok.
Before S10 and I left for his out-of-town soccer game, H walks into my office, where I'm gathering directions, schedules, etc... And, I tell him that I think it would be a good idea, since S13 will be gone (baby-sitting for the BFF), and S10 and I will be at the game, to gather some of his "things" together. It's better to do it when they are not home. He is a bit shocked, and comments/questions... "You're not really kicking me out?" (or something similar) I just replied that divorced/separated people don't reside in the same home, so, why not use the time wisely?
Then, I got to S10's game, and had a small anxiety attack. This week I had told a small handful of soccer mom's about the situation w/H and I, and they are PISSED now. And, I've told them not to share w/the other parents, but please fill their spouses in (because their spouses are friendly w/H). So, we walk up to the game, and, first thing, my favorite, all-time soccer dad (who practically worships my H - it is sickening), completely bare hugs me, won't let go, and is tearing up talking to me in my ear. (He's not being creepy... just overwhelmed w/grief for our family, and utter disappointment in my H.) Then, another one looks at me odd, another one pulls me aside and asks if I need money (LOL). And, then about 2-3 others (that know nothing) are asking... "So, Mindfull, where's H today?" "Mindfull, is H working on a SATURDAY now?" BlahBlahBlah
I can't take it. All of a sudden, I really can't breathe. Favorite soccer dad comes up, and says... "Let me get you out of here." I tell him I'll be okay, and to just give me a minute. I'll take a walk, and shake it off. So, I did, and called Fergie, who just provided a kind, calm voice. (THANKS, Ferg.)
Then... now this is a State Cup soccer game, and S10's little team is a tournament team, who have progressed through three phases of the brackets. It's pretty important in regards to their season(s). And, S10 is the full-time goalkeeper. (No pressure, huh?) We end up tied at the end of the game, and in State Cup games, it now goes to a PK shoot-out. (Now, THAT is not stressful!!!) We lose, by one. S10's teams shooters shot right at the opposing gk - easily saved, and S10 lets one in, over his head. Right as they are going to line up, I notice S10 take a kid and SHOVE HIM to the ground, and immediately the ref cards S10. I just thought he was ticked, and wasn't exactly beaming proud, but gk's are a bit fiesty to begin with, and he just lost in a PK shootout in a tournament game...
Well, later our coach came up to me, and said he had to talk to me. I thought S10 shoved an opponent. It wasn't. It was his own teammate. The coach said that he heard why. His teammate yelled at him after the game, "You missed that goal because you didn't have your head in the game. Wish your dad would come back so you could concentrate. " The coach pulled S10 aside, and told him... you didn't lose that game for us. You were our best chance to win. Your shooters didn't do their job.
I could have just cried for my little boy.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
And....you just made me cry. I am so sorry for you and for your kids. Through my own situation and that of others, I have become aware of a level of selfishness I have never before personally experienced.
GRR! If I were there we'd cut through those wine bottles in half the time...
It will get better! I promise. You be the example you know your kids need. I'm glad you have such great friends. I have a feeling the coach might straighten out the out of line kid, too.
BBJ - Sorry about the tears! Some parts of this situation just plain suck... I like your thoughts about the wine...
Jeff - I'm trying! I think you're right about the coach. He's kind of kick-as$ like that, anyhow... Told the same little boy (during the game, loud enough for us all to hear). "Bobby, MEN don't cry in soccer! Suck it up!" Guess S10 is willing to give him something to cry about! LoL
UPDATE
Some things packed up... Not leaving me laundry anymore... (YA GET IT NOW, HUH?) Sleeping in the pub, now that D19 has taken over the guest room...
Yesterday, we (as a family) took D19 out for her birthday for lunch, and gave her gifts... This all went fine...
Then, H took S10 to his away soccer game, and D19 and S13 went home to do homework.
I had the best time I have had in a REALLY long time after that. I went to see Fergie's pipe band play in a parade... Just amazing!!! Really fun band members, too. I think I made some new friends! (Note, none come close to looking as good as him in a kilt! No - what's that word, Ferg? - up-kilt viewings, though. DARN!) If he'll let me, I'll post some pics to the alt...
After that, I came home, and took S13 to summer basketball game. His foot is holding up pretty good. They won!
We got home fairly late, and H tried to engage me several times. I am not answering/acknowledging anything to/from him, unless it is about the kids. This am, I planned on asking him, in person, if he had retained an attorney, and what his thoughts are... (If he hasn't, he had better, because the papers are coming from me...) If I go ahead and let him file, my L will ask for attorney fees. So, if he will, I think I'll let him... It could save a TON of money, that I'm not sure I'll have later. I may have to swallow my need to zing him to save THOUSANDS... It may be worth it. I'm happy. I'm strong. I'm confident. I've found what it looks like on the other side.
OK, I HAVE to get busy this am!!!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sorry to hear about your weekend low points but the high points are nice.
One foot in front of the other!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
