So long, and thanks for the fish

[lees]

(((((Aver)))))

I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.

But I'm sending Marvin to cheer you up, with a pan galactic gargle blaster.

[Iwondertooo]

Well I will just share that the last time my x tried to contact me in person many years ago I was too afraid. NO no no. Email communication only. Good decision. Turns out he had been encouraged to share that he and the OW were having a baby long before we were even divorced. It wasn't a good day and I feel your pain to this day. There is no reason for you to see him at this point if you ask me. Which you didn't. Take care of yourself. Wonder

[avermont]

Hopefully his leg will take longer to heal than my heart!

Oh dear God, how am I going to get through the pain of him getting married?

I was sort of expecting it--I just felt that he would make that move, having been frustrated in not marrying me all these years...I can only hope her biological clock is ticking (we never wanted kids. One of the first things I asked him when he said he was with someone else, was: do you want children? He said no. But hell, as we see, people change)

Seems like a lot of changes for one man in one year: new woman; new job (within his company, just a change up) giving up the house he adored; leaving the town he loved; giving up the Planning Commission which he loved; deciding to get married.

Don't the stress experts say that anyone of those things is like a factor for a heart attack?

Well, it is just one more body blow. If only I could listen to my C and stop the self-blame. The remorse.

Thanks for stopping in. I will need a lot of words and hugs the next little bit.

[lees]

Hey Aver!

Top of the morning to ya!

Depending on which bit he broke, I can say with medical confindence that it will take at least 2 years to return to as close to normal as it will ever get. I do hope your heart is much mended by then. Unless he's unlucky and gets regional pain syndrome afterwards, in which case he's stuck with it for life.

Weird how they completely change their plans isn't it. My WAW was totally obsessed with having children well before we even met, but now says she isn't interested anymore. Always wanted a cute farmhouse with a bit of land, dogs running around the kids playing football, some sheep and chickens and a nice big veggie patch. The FIL was even trying to buy us one just a year ago. Now she's dating an image obsessed pretentious twonk, who wouldn't even walk up our drive when it was being repaved and covered in sand in case it messed up her shoes, hates children, thinks football is just "too common," hates pets, only drinks champagne, and lives in a pristine white furnished apartment in the nicest city centre area.

He's racking up the chances of depression, and significant illness from stress.

Check out the SRRS here for the details.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale

Regarding his marriage - I dearly wish we hadn't done it given events 6 months later. I expect he'll feel the same in some months time. Will they be wasting a large amount of money? Don't forget that magic <1% long term success rate for relationships borne of lying, cheating, disrespect etc.

And on a lighter note.....

Hope you're ready with those jobs for today - don't you know that one of the uses for one's towel is as a whip

((((()))))

[avermont]

Thanks, guys, thanks thanks.

Keep the notes coming.

1% of R surviving that started out in deception? Well, they made it to the one year mark--I'm guessing that's how they marked their anniversary.

OK OK--let's remember to think about me. What does Avermont want? How does Avermont envision her life?

Unfortunately on the broken leg, it's just the fibula, not the tibia, so he's just in one of those velcro braces for a few weeks. I'm only hoping for some complications due to inactivity and diabetes.

Remind me, Lees, not to use the towel-whip on myself!


And it is incredible how your WAW changed so 180. Really really bizarre. Does it help at all, seeing her act like someone you never would have been interested in, in the first place?

[lees]

Well I've had very little contact with her whatsoever since the break up. We saw each other a couple of times in the first 2 weeks and since then I've only seen her twice. Once at her Dad's farm where I just blanked her completely as I just couldn't handle speaking to her at that time, and then last week she turned up unexpectedly to pay the court order I had to take out to get my money from her. I hear about her and OW a lot from other people especially at work, her family, and it helps me with keeping the fog idea in my head. She isn't really behaving like her usual sane self, and has certainly gone off piste with choice of partner. I've met all but one of her previous serious partners, and they have all been rather more like myself. It helps with thinking they'll never last. But who knows? Wish there were both a crystal ball to put us out of our misery, and a magic OP removing tool - perhaps we can steal one from Adobe Photoshop.

So come on Aver - what do you want? What does your ideal future hold for you (unconnected to relationships)?

Ah well fibula can be pretty painful, especially if the nerve that wraps around it is involved.

Well I've never tried, but I expect it's pretty tough to manage a decent towel whip with your own frood towel. Better leave that to the rest of us.

[blownaway65]

So Aver, you've overtaken me on the journey!

STBXW is now officially in 'a relationship' according to D18 - it's no longer an affair hah.

Apparently she doesn't want to take things any further with OM until she sorts out the house with me.

Looks like my hiatus is coming to an end.

I wonder if she'll break a leg or arm or something else important. We can only live in hope I guess.

Take care

[Gardener]

cat03

I really could've use the cone of silence from the Get Smart series, lol, so I could scream when it pleased me so

Gets today's Belly-Laugh Of The Day Award! "Cone of Silence"! When's the last time i even thought of/remembered that one?

[Gardener]

aver,

Oh dear God, how am I going to get through the pain of him getting married?

That's gotta hurt...bad. I'm sorry. But you will get through it in time.

Seems like a lot of changes for one man in one year: new woman; new job (within his company, just a change up) giving up the house he adored; leaving the town he loved; giving up the Planning Commission which he loved; deciding to get married.

Be concerned with/focus on you. Not him. His choices; his consequences.

Don't the stress experts say that anyone of those things is like a factor for a heart attack?

Don't borrow trouble. Least not someone else's. Heart attack? I doubt it. Stress? Yes. Misery? Hopefully.

Well, it is just one more body blow. If only I could listen to my C and stop the self-blame. The remorse.

The Journey From Abandonment To Healing. Get it. Trust me. One of the stages is "Internalizing The Rejection", i.e., must be me, my fault!
No, it's not.

Thanks for stopping in. I will need a lot of words and hugs the next little bit.

(((((((aver)))))))(((((((aver)))))))(((((((aver)))))))(((((((aver)))))))

[Gardener]

And it is incredible how your WAW changed so 180. Really really bizarre. Does it help at all, seeing her act like someone you never would have been interested in, in the first place?

For me it does.