already posted to the old thread unaware, but sending hugs to you.
I agree with Kalni from before that his D day craziness was due to the changes you have made recently with your interactions with him. His world is being torn down and he doesn't know how to handle it. people in A's are very easily brought to anger and stupid actions. You know that this is NOT your H. otherwise your kids wouldn't be so hurt by this.
I know that your H was a good dad because of your kids reactions. sadly, my 8 year old didn't react as badly as yours. he was more the one taking care of me, but that was because my H wasn't really a great dad, and it showed. he wasn't bad, but he was pretty absent. However, he is a great dad now, still room for improvement, me too, but just shows that people can change.
I hope that it doesn't get any uglier, but it more than likely will because of the circumstances. you just keep your cool throughout, and it might even make him more mad, but you will be the one that holds your head up high and the one that chooses the respectful path. Your kids WILL see that and they can learn from it. and in the meantime do not talk badly about H to them, but talk with compassion because he IS their dad, but he has made bad choices and have allowed himself to be tempted, and temptation turns to sin, and sin to death. And the reason they need to learn compassion is because we all sin, and they need to draw understanding, because guess what. I would bet, that in every family, including my own, there is a 50% chance or higher that one, if not all, of our children will come to the crossroads your H did, and will choose the path of temptation, or their spouse will.
you are definitely not alone mindful, and you have many many people who will support you. you are a strong beautiful woman, there is no doubt.
when you are past your anger, open yourself up to encouraging your H's good father behaviors, because that is most important. He was a good father, and he can be an even better one. unfortunately right now, he is in his crisis and enveloped in his own suffering. do not expect good behavior from him right now, he isn't the man you loved or knew right now, he is the man taken over by sin.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I haven't been following your sitch but you and I post on some of the same threads and I wanted to come and offer my support.
You are a strong and wonderful woman and you will come through this all the better for the experience. I'm so sorry that it has come down to this, but you do what you have to do in order to protect you and your kids....period.
Lots of love and virtual hugs to you!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
So I don't know if I missed it or you haven't posted it...were you still going to serve him this week? Or will the new attorney situation delay things?
Hugs and martinis...or margaritas...or wine...what was I saying?
I had the meeting w/my NEW attorney. He is awesome. He knows how to clean up messes!!! And, a huge surprise... my very best male friend guaranteed my bill up to the retainer amount, so I don't have to give him a retainer! (Everything from old attorney is being transferred immediately.)
We are not making a decision on filing until I see a tax attorney (that my new D attorney set me up with) on Friday. It could be a detriment, based on some IRS issues... They may want to do something else first. Also, if H files first, I can ask for more attorney fees coverage.
I've decided I'm choosing to through this w/comfort and security in my attorney handling the process correctly. No fear. No reactionary behaviors.
I guess I'd better get to work!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I hope your STBXH will stop the spew but don't hold out hope. You've rocked his world and he is not in control. He doesn't do that well.
I would agree with that 100% and I would ignore his texts completely, don't bother replying to any of them, I think it would do him some good to squirm. He didn't value you or the relationship he had with you, and you DB'd your a$$ off literally (ok the diet and exercise may have helped a bit too).
