Mine went back 40 years. My H is living with the ow that dumped him when they were 16. Supposedly he never got over her. Funny how in our 27 years of marriage he never once spoke of her. Until the bomb that is.
LOL, SA - same here. H actually told MIL that he "was too intimidated by her to actually talk to her, and always carried a piece of her in his heart"
Really? He never got over the girl that sat across the table from him at lunch...
It's whatever makes them feel better.
DMoney, I finished your thread... lots of good going on with you. I was attracted to your sitch b/c you and I both have MILs that are totally on our side and trying to help us DB. My FIL hasn't been able to kick OW out of any family functions, but he's waiting with baited breath to. LOL.
My MIL understands a bit more what my wife is going through. She was sexually abused as a child and suffered from depression when my wife was growing. She understands that she has a lot to do with my wife's childhood issues. Her whole family knows that my wife has issues that she needs to deal with and they get frustrated.
MIL knows what it's like to have depression color your thoughts and actions so she's totally convinced that my wife's feelings for me will return when she gets through this.
You're very lucky to have her. She may wind up being a part of why your W comes back... let's hope they solve their issues during/after your W's MLC.
My MIL stood up and told H that she would not accept OW and that I am her daughter now, not just a DIL, and he needs to get counseling. He said "you don't understand, I have been feeling this way for YEARS, ma, YEARS." She said "BS" and he left in a huff, wrote her an email, told her she hurt his feelings and she lost a son in this... then a week later was back at her house with a new arsenal about how crazy I was and no one but he has ever seen that "dark" side of me... she said "BS" and repeated her script... LOL... he was back a week later again trying to get her to accept his new "soul mate" and she had out our wedding pictures and family pictures all over the house. He is NOT happy. I made sure he saw that I have a key to her house. He doesn't have a key to her house. Said "how do you rate?" She's been reading MLC websites so that she knows how to react and what to expect. It's hard on them, though, and so I have made a promise only to ask for their help when he starts to really go off the deep end and leave them out of the every day stuff.
It is very important to him that MIL/FIL accept his new OW so he can move on... and she refuses. It really throws a kink into his plans.
I liken it to those sci fi movies, when you have a robot and you ask it a question outside of it's programming... the head twitches back and forth, it starts spewing "does not computer, does not compute" and then the head blows up...
These MLCers have their little scripts written in their heads, they see their futures all planned out (in Hollyweird scripts) and then someone doesn't go along and it just makes them throw a temper tantrum like crazy. My MIL sent me the pages long emails he would send her, very disjointed and crazy, trying desperately to convince her... and then "does not compute, does not computer" and he'd throw a temper tantrum that I'd be embarrassed if a four year old threw.
Well, sorry to write a book. Just thought you may get a kick, a little different than your W as she had real issues with her mother, my MIL was controlling but loving, so not as bad... but I'm still sure that he's projecting her control issues onto me, so it seems to be an issue in his MLC.
S12 was talking to my mom yesterday and told her: "My dad does a real good job when he goes grocery shopping. He always knows what we need and gets it. My mom has no idea what we have and she goes to the store and just buys stuff. She gets stuff that we have plenty of."
"My dad does a real good job when he goes grocery shopping. He always knows what we need and gets it. My mom has no idea what we have and she goes to the store and just buys stuff. She gets stuff that we have plenty of."
They call it like they see it don't they? You gotta love it!
So very true...... and to think, some of us spend time wondering if anyone else actually "sees it" as well.
Oh, and that's Mr. Trapt to you. I saw that comment about some one being perceptive. LOL
I hope your son doesn't say these things to her. I know he's blowing off steam and I don't blame her, but it's this kind of stuff that will make it hard for her to forgive herself and build her self esteem when this is all over. I know it's a little thing, but it would matter a great deal to me if the kids thought I didn't do grocery shopping well.
D - the story of your W shopping reminds me of my H. He has no interest in day-to-day existential tasks, no patience for anything and is very forgetful. I also think that their ability to concentrate on tasks like shopping is limited...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
