The light at the end of the tunnel

[D Money]

It really goes to show how clueless these people are when it comes to divorce. They think it's going to be so easy.

Someday he will realize what a wonderful woman he has in you K.

[kjensen]

Thanks D- that means alot. I do think they think it will be simple and they'll just be free.

[Marked&Healed]

It's all been said here, just adding my support to you. It stinks, I wish it wasn't this way. I'm so sorry. Pity parties are OK as long as you don't get stuck there.

[kjensen]

Thanks Passenger.

Mentally I'm moving forward. I met with H twice this week and we figured out a custody schedule(He'll have a place for the girls to live with him later this week when he moves into his rented condo), and furniture division.

I asked H if he wanted to stop the divorce and he didn't respond but just looked a bit bewildered. It seems as if the reality of the situation is hitting him. He seems determined to move on (and grow up) and I think this is what he needs to do to get through his MLC.

I just am not sure if I'll still be there hoping or waiting for him when the fog completely lifts and he's done what he needs to do. I guess that's what still makes me a bit sad.

My life is filling up. The hurt and anger I've felt through this are dissipating. I'm trying to stay present and not look back. So...things are getting better even though they aren't turning out as I'd hoped for so long.

[trustingfaith]

K - glad you are working through the hurt and anger. That has to be helping. I guess time will how this affects him and what happens when the fog lifts. As I keep trying to remind myself, one day at a time!

[kjensen]

Hi TF,
It is one day at a time! Staying present-not focusing on the past, what could've been, what should've been...

Even today, I was feeling fine, hopeful for my future, then later I had some grief as it hits me daily this divorce process is almost over and my emotions are lagging a bit...

Letting go of dreams and hopes is hard. I'm trying to create some new ones via a bucket list...

[Golfgirl1]

Hi K-
Yes, we need to meet! The rebuilding class is the best thing you could have done (IMHO). You will definitely build lifelong friends....That's why I'm moving to Erie. My new BFF and I met in class and it's been crazy fun ever since. I take salsa lessons on Monday nights with 7 others from my class and we meet at least once a month for dinner (heading to Yak and Yeti this Thursday). Just having the support and love from my new friends has gotten me this far.

I still feel grief and anger, but it's getting better. I signed the papers yesterday and should have the decree by the end of the week. My wasband was so wonderful for many years, but my wasband is NOT my husband. He left over 10 months ago and isn't coming back anytime soon, if ever. Hard to let go of that.

I'm pretty flexible (no kids) so we could work around your schedule if you want to meet soon. Maybe Starbucks in Superior, by Safeway? Let me know....

Hang in there...it does getter better.

[kjensen]

I like that term GG- Wasband!
Starbuck's sounds like a plan..not sure if this weekend will work..will post on that later.

Just wishing it was all over-seems to be dragging at this point and we're beyond the point of no return...

Figured out(I think) how to post links to all my threads...
Need help handling affair
Learning to Detach
Still in the Tunnel with hubby
Praying for light at the end of the tunnel
The tunnel of darkness

just for the fun of it...

[Grace_O]

Hey K,

A bucket list huh? Have you managed to do any of the items on it yet?

[kjensen]

Hi Grace,
Not yet. Alot of it is places I'd like to travel-so right now thats a future plan since finances are tight with the divorce not yet final. I guess, I think its helping me look forward and create new hopes/dreams...

I've made a new, good friend in my class. He is going through the same thing as me- his divorce was final a few weeks ago. Its just interesting to share, in person, the experiences we've been through the last few years.

Its all a platonic friendship since there is no dating within the class and I'm not yet officially divorced, but my friend and I can easily talk for hours sometimes.

H came by yesterday to pick up some dishes for his condo and said he was mad that I was talking to some guy for 3 hours late at night-he thought it was creepy. H had accessed the electronic record of our home landline calls (via comcast) and must've looked up who the phone number belonged to(my new friend) that I spoke to for 3 hours... I said it was a friend I had made and I had nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I didn't say anything more...What a nice Mother's day wish! :-)

H called later to wish me a Happy Mother's day-left a voicemail. Today I spoke with him to let him know D12 is home sick and he then made a brief apology...

Its more apparent that the more I'm moving on and detaching the weirder and more erratic H's behavior seems to get. I really am not looking back or hoping that this marriage will be "saved". H is so very passive aggressive and angry alot of the time..I don't need to keep living in that environment. I feel bad for H, but there is nothing I can do for him now.