My daughter bought me the most lovely arrangement of white gerbera daisies. They were here last night when I got home from the cottage/my friend's house.
I spent most of my day with my friend planning the funeral. It is so weird as one week ago today we spent the day together doing something fun but we did talk about her separation agreement, his despondencey and drove past his new apt and her new condo. A week later to be planning his funeral is so strange.
Thank you Wii! It was a weird way to spend Mother's Day but the best I could do with my time.
My daughter gave me some lovely gifts from her and her brother and we are going to go out later today for pedicures and dinner at our favourite Cantonese restaurant.
Today will be visitation at the Funeral Home. It is still so weird to me that this is happening. Just a week ago she and I were chatting and emailing about how the future would be brighter when she got into her new condo and could start moving forward. One week ago today she and her soon to be EX signed their separation agreement. I met her for lunch to celebrate.
She has found some life insurance policies and so far we don't know if they pay out on suicide. The mortgage insurance does not! I hope the survivor benefits on his pension will be enough for her. Otherwise, the widow of a .25 million a year man will be bankrupt. This is just horrible.
The man was not in his right mind. People always say what a selfish act suicide is, but suicides are irrational and in unbearable pain. They convince themselves their loved ones will be better off without them...
This is what I was thinking until you wrote that one of his girls actually saw him jump. Do you think he arranged it that way?! If so, what a horrible thing to do to your kid.!
I hope your poor friend is not left bankrupt. It is good she is surrounded by friends.
I work in the insurance industry and depending on the state that you are in (actually very few do not) the policies will pay for suicide if the policy has been in place for longer than 2 years.
Another angle to take is that the policy will pay unless the suicide was planned prior to taking the exam or taking the policy out. The burden of proof is on the insurance company to prove that the person was already planning, pre-meditating this suicide before even taking the policy out=very tough to do unless there is a written plan dated before the policy was active.
I also unfortunatly am familiar with these clauses as this is what took my fatehrs life as well. Any help that I might be able to pass along I would be glad to share.
It is important to concentrate on the emotional side of things but even if no one wants to bring it up the $$ side of things are just as heavily on your friends mind right now (and should be) as well. Someone needs to work on rounding up policies, 401Ks, etc...find out how long a death certificate with take to get (might be longer in case of suicide as it is considered a "crime" technically) might be a short time. You will need death certificates for any insurance claims, etc.
Also another place to look is with this mans group health insurance policy there is often a low cost rider that can be bought with a set $$ amount of life insurance up to 3,4,5X his salary paid thru the group health company and that would have no suicide out clause either.
Hope this helps, I will have more later I am sure this is the stuff that comes to mind right away going back thru my memory of what I did and learned with my dads case....
H: 30 W: 31 S: 2 T/M: 6/4 D Final 4-5-10
Bomb: June 09 Status: D'd and moving onward and upward?
I'll admit, I've worried about my soon-to-be-ex at times. I'm actually glad he has the young Asian girlfriend right now, seems to be perking up his mood a bit so I haven't worried about him as much.
