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The state code allows me to get a "temporary separation order". I'm thinking about doing that and asking her to leave next week. I will try getting her to choose first, then use the "temporary separation order" as a backup plan. In the mean time, I'm not pursuing or doing any R talk. Now here is my dilema:

1. She has nowhere to go. Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her?

2. My wife takes care of our two daughters ages 7 and 3 during the day while I am at work. I can't afford childcare. Should I have her come get the kids every morning before I leave for work? If she doesn't show up some morning, it would cause me to be late for work, but I could get a backup plan. There are church friends who would be willing to babysit occasionally.

To think that this is all because she refuses to stop communicating with the OM, which she is doing mostly by phone about 3 times a week.


My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
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The other alternative is restrict the OM from your wife or reduce her desireability.

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ken5140 Offline OP
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I'm listening - how do I do that?


My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
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ken5140 Offline OP
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Reading up on the code, it looks like the court can help make arrangements for childcare in the case of separation or divorce.


My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
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Originally Posted By: ken5140
Now here is my dilema:

1. She has nowhere to go. Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her?

2. My wife takes care of our two daughters ages 7 and 3 during the day while I am at work. I can't afford childcare. Should I have her come get the kids every morning before I leave for work? If she doesn't show up some morning, it would cause me to be late for work, but I could get a backup plan. There are church friends who would be willing to babysit occasionally.




First of all, GOOD JOB on learning your legal rights! whistle

Ken, you need to have ALL of this planned out by the time you confront your wife. This needs to be a "I have learned that ________ , and this is what I've decided: __________________" meeting. Calm, confident, not a debate -- you are INFORMING her of what's going to happen.

You need to have every duck in a row. "I've made arrangements for X," and "I've already covered that with Y" -- that sort of thing.

Are you good at making detailed plans? It sounds like you are.

As Coach would say, "you can handle it."

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: ken5140
I'm listening - how do I do that?


Ken5140,

Before us men become so tolerant, the OM might never be found, or he might have had his knees broken.

On the wife. An AIDS rumor or something like that or drugs. Or OM is doing anything related to drugs the appropriate parties are tipped off.

OM is doing something that he shouldnt be doing, and even raising the specter of doubt in certain area's will be enough to put enough heat on him that he stops doing some things.

There are ways, legal and not-legal.

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Thanks, Puppy and DaddyLongShanks. I totally agree, Puppy. I want to have it all planned out.

She has nowhere to go. Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her? What do you think?

(Still seeking suggestions from the board on this.)


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Originally Posted By: ken5140
Thanks, Puppy. I totally agree. I want to have it all planned out.

She has nowhere to go. Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her? What do you think?

(Still seeking suggestions from the board on this.)


"Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her?" - thats gay man.

It's pretty much this "all this BS stops right now."

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Originally Posted By: DaddyLongShanks
Originally Posted By: ken5140
I'm listening - how do I do that?


Ken5140,

Before us men become so tolerant, the OM might never be found, or he might have had his knees broken.

On the wife. An AIDS rumor or something like that or drugs. Or OM is doing anything related to drugs the appropriate parties are tipped off.

OM is doing something that he shouldnt be doing, and even raising the specter of doubt in certain area's will be enough to put enough heat on him that he stops doing some things.

There are ways, legal and not-legal.


whistle whistle whistle

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Originally Posted By: ken5140
Thanks, Puppy and DaddyLongShanks. I totally agree, Puppy. I want to have it all planned out.

She has nowhere to go. Should I help her find an apartment or have the OM come get her? What do you think?

(Still seeking suggestions from the board on this.)


I thought Clark Gable had a pretty good answer for this in Gone With the Wind. It started with "Frankly, my dear . . . " smirk

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