I also do a form of "pay it forward". It is just phone based and in person based here in Dallas and not so much online based now. I have a group of friends that have formed from this site that I speak to regularly and try to offer support and advice where asked. We also get together about once a month for a group dinner and then meet individually now and then. Some texting, some emailing and some talking on the phone.
So I am definitely involved in continuing to try and offer support and advice to friends here in the area going through this. And they also offer the same for me.
I am going to a baseball game with one of them tonight which I am looking forward to. It should be a fun time.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
You and I are both so much alike. It will be 18 months for me in the next 2 weeks and you are doing great. We both got stuck, well I'm still stuck.
I've kept up with your sitch and you are doing so much better. Can you help me out? I need to start GAL, and moving forward. I'm still standing.
But I have a question for you. I have invited H to D13's birthday party in Oct. he said it wouldn't be a good idea. She might get the wrong impression. I also invited him to something else, can't remember but anyway said the same thing.
How did you and your W start coparenting with the kids. My H always goes through our D13 and never wants to do things together. I don't know if he is telling the truth about her getting the wrong idea or if he is afraid someone will see us and tell his family they saw us together.
His family is not like your W's family even though they are the ones that pushed me to marry H. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married or not, and they just kept it up. Now I guess from the stories he told and lies they don't want anything to do with me. I guess he needed to lie, in order not to be the bad guy for leaving us.
If anyone could please give me some tips on how to get him involved with our children together it would be greatly appreciated.
I'm on MLC now because I don't know if it is the depression he suffers from or if he is going through a MLC without an OW.
I was just friendly towards my W and didn't put any pressure on her. I gave her space and eventually now and then I would tell her she is welcomed to join us if I was going to take my girls to a movie or something. When she would show up on Friday nights to pick up the girls we would talk about the girls and then it would lead into other things and then before we knew it, we were hungry and we would all end up going out to dinner.
It just happened.
Now that being said, I blew it about a week and a half ago when I sent W a text saying "Thinking about you, hope you are having a great day". I decided to test the waters as things seemed to be getting better. That evening at D12's performance, after it was over and W and D12 were walking away I said " I love yall" as I turned and walked to my car.
Big mistake? Maybe. But I felt like testing the waters to see if we had made any progress. Nope, we haven't. She has avoided me since. Ok, so we are no further along then we were 6 months ago.
That is ok though. At least I know where we stand. I'm not fooling myself thinking we are getting closer than what we actually are.
So I don't really hear from W until midnight last night when I sign on to IM. I had deleted her, but apparently not blocked her. So while I couldn't see her, she could still see me. She immediately IM's me.
W: You there? K: ? W: How is D8 doing? K: Fine W: She was up in the middle of the night for an hour and a half last night not feeling well. K: Ok. W: Ok, goodnight.
That was the end of the conversation. I didn't reply back to the good night.
Today I pick up my girls and I am driving down the road waiting to turn. Low and behold, here comes W getting ready to turn in. I look down the road and ignore her and don't look at her. I'm sure she noticed but I didn't look to see. I turned onto the road and drove on to take my girls out to dinner.
So it is back to the place where we were 6 months ago possibly because I decided to test the waters a bit.
I went swimming laps again tonight. Tomorrow my W gets my girls back and I'm sure at some point tomorrow or over the weekend, she will want to come over and get there stuff for the week again. I haven't decided yet how I will handle that or whether or not I will even decide to be here when she does.
So again, I don't have much advice to offer you. I am winging it myself.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I am glad to hear you have a support group in person. It sounds fun to go to dinner with the DB gang! I think no matter what stage you (general you, not you per say) are in, it's so helpful to have a support system.
My girls are doing good. They are with their mom this weekend. I will get them Tuesday night and then back for the week I believe this coming Thursday since W has to go to Austin for business over night.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Checking in with you...I haven't been around much. Hope you are well.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
