Hey Future, hope the beach is nice and the water is warm enough to swim! Its great that you are going with the other families--I think that kids (and grown ups, too!) need to feel part of a big circle. It cushions the bumps in life.
Attorneys can be very pompous and silly--sounds like she's got herself a piece of work there.
For me, D-date is Tuesday. Signed and sealed, I think! I am having a "Bachelorette Fete" on Wednesday (not to celebrate the divorce, because that's sad, but to celebrate spring and new beginnings) AND, I actually have a DATE today--I got on match.com on Wednesday and already have 33 "interesteds" in me. It is a great confidence builder. I signed up on a fluke, really to see who is even out there and to see if I COULD date if I wanted to, but this man seems nice, so we're having lunch today. I'm not ready to jump into anything, but it would be nice to have a gentleman companion!
The engagement ring is weird...sounds like she sees that she's no longer in the center of your world and wishes she were going to the beach with you...
Yeah, I think the only reason that ring was on is because she is feeling the loss of you to another woman. I don't know what I would think if my wife had her ring on. I am going out with someone on thursday so if she did have a change of heart it had better be more clear than just putting her ring on.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Back from vacation. Had an awesome time! The kids didn't want to leave. I am proud of myself for how well I planned and executed the vacation. I feel like a confident and competent single Dad. Ironic that I am now fighting to keep my custody of the kids. We spent a whole week in the sun at the beach and no one got sunburned, so I guess I was sufficiently diligent with the sunscreen.
Going with the other families was great. There were a grand total of twelve kids in our group. My kids were by far the youngest, and everyone helped me look out for them, very helpful near the ocean.
Kids hardly mentioned their Mom on the trip, and only asked to call her once. She called them once as well. I give her credit for that, as I appreciate her letting me have my vacation with the kids and not intruding.
Although the kids are still in my custody for a few more days, I offered for W to have the kids for the day yesterday. Why I'm generous given the situation I sometimes question, but it seemed like the right thing to do for the kids, if nothing else. Strange, when she showed up my son and older daughter were quite standoffish with her. She held out her arms for a hug, and they reluctantly walked over and let her hug them with their arms at their sides. I even felt bad for her a little. They warmed up quick though, and started telling her the fun tales of our trip, difficult for her to hear I'm sure. She put on a good act though.
I didn't even think to look to see whether she had on her engagement ring again. I have no idea what was up with that. Seemed like a "let's f*ck with H's head" move to me, and it worked, a little.
Glad you had a fun time, future. I am a tad concerned about the kids not being enthusiastic when she came to collect them ---- she may come up with the "alienation of affection" argument in court. I am sure, though, that she would have to prove it. Just make sure she cannot point that finger at you.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I have never said one negative thing to the kids about their mother. Not one. Of course I'm sure she thinks I have, and yes, I need to be wary of that argument being used in court.
Conversely, she has said negative things about me to the kids, which they have repeated to me.
I didn't get the impression that you were the type to say bad things about your children's mother. But, I did sense she was that type, and knowing that about her, she might think you do the same. Your W can manipulate things to her advantage sometimes, so I was just sounding a little alarm when I read of the kids reaction to her. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say, even if it doesn't come to that.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I didn't get the impression that you were the type to say bad things about your children's mother. But, I did sense she was that type, and knowing that about her, she might think you do the same. Your W can manipulate things to her advantage sometimes, so I was just sounding a little alarm when I read of the kids reaction to her. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say, even if it doesn't come to that.
Here is what I've recently heard from my kids about me:
* "Mommy doesn't like you" (from my son to me)
* "<Mommy's friend> called you a bad name" (from my older daughter to me)
* "Why do you help your son-in-law, you should help your daughter" (from my older daughter to my MIL, right in front of me)
* "We're more sad when we leave Mommy because we have the same blood as her" (from my older daughter to me)
Future - I am so jealous. I want a beach vacation too.
Sounds like you and the kids had a blast and made some new and happy memories together.
Thanks! It was a very fun time. I did notice that although I brought my camera, I never took it out. Something inside of me still sees these days as "tainted", and I'm not sure I want to remember them, at least not with pictures. Sad.
Just found out something that rubs me the wrong way. I got my youngest daughter a sock puppet kit for her b-day a few weeks ago. She's been anxious to make the sock puppets, but with planning for the trip and all, we haven't had a chance until tonight. There was three puppets in the kit, but only two were there on the table. I made one with each of my daughters. I finally asked my daughter where the third one was. She said "Mommy did it with me." I was confused and said "When was that?" She said "When she was over here looking for <other daughter's> necklace." So apparently when my MIL was watching the kids here recently, my W came over and was playing with the kids, and made a sock puppet, and was rummaging through my daughter's room looking for a necklace.
This is the kind of thing that really p*sses me off. If I make an issue of it, I'm being mean and petty. If I ignore it, I reinforce her attitude that she can cross my boundaries.
