I am ok financially this month, so that is a blessing.
I will take no pity on his no payment if this continues.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
have to say T.. one of the best thing I was able to here in my state was have the state take over. since the court had already established it all I had to do was go to the child support enforcement people -- and they took it over. It was humbling... but they are in control now.. not x and nothing up to me.
do you have something like that where you are?
it has taken pressure off of me. the only way I won't see money is if x doesn't have a job. Right now he is 1 year, 4 months into his job.... based on his past history i have about another year... then there will be another change. Serious... he either quit or got fired every 2 1/2 years for a very very long time...
sorry he is such a puke!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
The only infor I have about ex is what everyone else tells me he says about me, and yes he is still blaming.
Cagz, I have never had to go to child support enforcement, but I will if this continues. I think it is very similar to what you described.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, once again, your sitch sounds just like mine.
In my opinion and experience, I would not wait to go to child support enforcement. The sooner the better. You won't have to worry each month. He will have to answer to them, not you, when he is late. I know in NY, they will also raise the amount of support automatically when the increase of living goes up.
Ex's sister just had a baby shower this afternoon. Ex was there telling everyone how I just hold a grudge. God these guys are weird. Let's see, he breaks up our family, is abusive, WTF
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I still wish I knew what I did to make him dislike me so?
Repetitive but still too much self-blame and self-victimization. You'll know your clearing the tree tops when you laugh at his put downs of you and simply ignore them or continue to talk or email right over them.
It will never be easy because we are ball and chained to them thru our children. Best thing is to cut off all the fat and keep it as lean as possible.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
T- it helped me personally more than anything. No more "wondering" it just happens. But it was one of the hardest things I had to do in all of this... it was kinda like you being completely dark.. It was me taking a stand for me.
I waited though -- and had a "final" straw. His payments were so spuratic and not consistant...And I needed it. I remember the last time..I called him and we talked. I asked him to please just pay what he was suppose to.. when he aws suppose to. I told him he was forcing me to do something I didn't want to do..... he said "do what you have to do.." (remember mr. passive.)
So, he did just what I thought... didn't pay... I talked to the kids and I cried. My son said "get the money mom.. you need it.. " my daughter just didn't want her daddy to go to jail.. (i explained it all to her.. that he wouldn't.. ) Then they were both like.."then let the state handle it.."
I hope it doesn't come to that for you... maybe his head will fall out of his butt and he will screw it back on and all will be better.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Hey keep on pushing and maybe you'll get your money from somewhere. My ex's parents are paying it b/c he hasn't had a job in a year and a half and they don't want their baby to go to jail...lol... enablers times two. Let the state handle it. That is the best way. In TX it is mandatory now that all CS goes through the attny gen. office so that they can monitor it. Our attny gen. is already after my ex and I haven't reported a thing. They will do it automatically.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
