Just adressing the FB issue and being his friend: I really think it is a good idea. I also spend a lot of time in their room since that is where my computer is(that's another story). It has allowed me access to the kids, their friends and they don't seem to mind. They talk about almost everything in front of me and come to me when they have questions or need help. FB fills in the gaps. I even have some of his friends calling me Mom!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I had a blast talking with you, too. Anytime is fine with me.
Teens and older speak differently to each other than to adults... and vice versa. I'm sure his friends found his comment to be hilarious, even if short lived.
I'm sure any attempt of a parent telling an mild off color joke or personal sexual involvement is 100 times worse for them. At least it is for my kids, though they stop me before it gets even close.
@Kat-Yes, I guess it's a good thing when they don't filter much to keep you in the dark. I am a little surprised he keeps me on his friends list, kicking me off only once in the last year.
Last night had me wishing I had taken H up on the offer to send him to the military school up the coast.
Three weeks off for spring break, he walks (kinda) into the house @ 10p.m., in no condition to complete an assignment due today.
Many parenting classes later, I'm still not sure what to do with a kid accepted into college with a 4.0, now getting grades his last semester, that may keep him from graduating from high school. Nothing seems to get thru & there's really nothing left to take away.
"Teenagers are so smart and alive, vulnerable, so at-risk, so brave and terrifying. They can be so mean, and so tender. So profoundly loyal to their friends and even to their moms. They can blow your mind with their brilliance and insights and passion. And they can be so stupid." Anne Lamott
So, I'm left with that "ancient parenting dilemma: How to give your children the freedom to screw up while making sure they don't screw up too badly?"
@Gypsy>>>Teens and older speak differently to each other than to adults... True dat!! Oh, & it was one of his friends referring to me & the earthquake, prolly just the thought made him hit the delete quickly.
*Along with the 2 F's, he's maintaining a 92% in calculus. Defies logic.
He may be suffering from senioritis and working the system. I later discovered during the last semester of senior year my rebellious son would arrived at school minutes before he'd be marked absent, since being tardy didn't affect his grades.
Or drug use could account for falling grades and a distinct change of attitude. Oops.. he had that, too.
And sons are a funny thing. The rebellious one had to push away from me harder because of how close we were for his sense of independence. The second, more mellow son, opted for the mutual trust, usually telling the truth thing. Or maybe he learned from his older brother and knew how to work things out better.
It's a curse to be a MILF, and it's touching that the offensive comment on FB about you was removed. I can just imagine one of your son's reactions, "Sh!!111!!!!!T Don't you know my mom READS this???!!!????? while making sure that you were not demeaned.
When I saw that your D was adjourned to December, my immediate question was whether or not you live in the state of NY. LOLOL. I saw someone post 'Baja' above.
It takes courage to say 'no' to an unhealthy relationship when some people on this forum would push to keep you in it.
Time is on your side.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
@FG-"Sometimes.. DAM (they come in all different shapes and ages) just need something to challenge them."
Nice to hear from you, Cory! And yes, he must yearn for challenges. If he doesn't have one at any given moment, he'll find a way to create one.
@FG-"My D reminds me more and more of my wife everyday."
And this is a good thing, right?
@Gyspy-I think you're right about the separation being more difficult for the closer child, Gypsy, we must have been even closer than I thought!
@FIB-Yes, time is on my side, which is why I'm fine with the adjournment to December.
Not quite sure about your reference to people pushing me into staying in an unhealthy R. I don't know of anyone who's done that here. Or maybe I just don't retain things like that, so they don't register. Basically, it's difficult to influence me one way or another, I know everyone is coming from their own reference point.
Looking forward to catching up with the latest WAS 'worst lines ever,' on your thread. Nice to have a little entertainment break!
It's all the hard work that came before...all the preparation he did to get into college. Only to drop the ball in the final inning!!...Along with the 2 F's, he's maintaining a 92% in calculus. Defies logic.
"Phoning it in." Obviously, calculus isn't difficult for him. The other classes probably aren't difficult either but are "more" work than calculus is. So he punts, figuring that a couple of low grades "won't make a difference now."
'Twas ever thus.
And next year, about the time he (metaphorically) finds himself sitting in my office hours, trying manfully not to whine while whining about his grade, he will be the proverbial deer-in-the-headlights "But-but-but I was an 'A' student in high school!"
Yes, my friend, I'm sure you were. And so was everybody else in this class. And of all the "A" students, you're an average one -- so I had no choice but to give you a "C."
Best when nipped in the bud by Mom -- but the nipping; ah, there's the rub.
Fortunately, he's got these totally jacked-up professors who totally assign way too much reading, like they totally think you have, like, no other classes or something, and then they have, like, these totally harsh grading standards like you're supposed to be some kind of genius or something and who even get, like, the totally meanest TA's who don't even, like, give extensions, to look forward to.
Nothing seems to get thru & there's really nothing left to take away.
"But-but-but I was an 'A' student in high school!"