Tristan, Have you read "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman? He talks about "learned helplessness" and how to overcome it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Just a thought - have you asked her what makes her feel more in control and more able to think when she's depressed? She may not know it now, and may need an IC, but if you can identify her triggers with her help you'd probably feel more sure that you are helping.
GREAT to hear that she recognizes that the M isn't the reason~
I have seen you tout 'Learned Optimism' before. Had not read it though. Helpless is very much the feeling I get when she is like this. I will order the book tonight. Nice to see you stop by.
I am not sure anything triggers it. However, I can usually predict when it is coming. It's strange, the physical symptoms usually precede the emotional. For a couple of days she can be jovial, but have cold like symptoms without the cold. She will be tired with head and body aches. The sadness does not come untill a couple of days later. Truthfully, I think it is pretty much all brain chemistry for her.
Thanks Puppy. By the way, I have been mentioning to W some of the things that you propose on this site. I think she is afraid of you. LOL
She also tells me that she would have divorced me on the spot had I tried to subpoena her IC files
That was Coach who did that. And I do NOT recommend it. While it got my attention and yes, did scare me...had I truly needed the help of an IC to sort myself out at that time (or any time in the future until I DIE), I would not have gone. And can say absolutely, will never go again. Hope we never need it, is all I can say, b/c I wouldn't budge on that. It was an extreme invasion of privacy.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Thanks Puppy. By the way, I have been mentioning to W some of the things that you propose on this site. I think she is afraid of you. LOL
She also tells me that she would have divorced me on the spot had I tried to subpoena her IC files
That was Coach who did that. And I do NOT recommend it. While it got my attention and yes, did scare me...had I truly needed the help of an IC to sort myself out at that time (or any time in the future until I DIE), I would not have gone. And can say absolutely, will never go again. Hope we never need it, is all I can say, b/c I wouldn't budge on that. It was an extreme invasion of privacy.
Greek
That is pretty much what Mrs. T said. I am sorry that it has scared you from seeing one anytime in the future. I found mine very helpful during our whole ordeal.
It is always good to see you and Coach on this board. You two are a great example of how beautiful M can be even after hard times.
Yes she has OTMT. She was on meds for about a year and stopped taking them this past October. We have discussed whether the meds were helpful at all and I think we have both agreed that they were not. I tend to think that the ADs pushed her into a pseudo-manic state (see rapid cycling). She disagrees; but does not believe the ADs helped either.
In any case, she has been battling the bouts of depression without the help of meds since then.
